Sweet Nothings & Random Thoughts

My intern is gone today and I'm selfishly upset about it. He unfortunately had a death in his family and will be gone for the next two days. You mean I actually have to make copies, respond to emails, run errends and return phone calls myself? What? With all the bitching and moaning I've been doing about this intern and his lack of common sense, he seriously does so much for me and I, like a jerk, don't realize it until he's gone. I plan to do something nice for him when he comes back and let me him know how much I appreciate what he does for me on a daily basis (in a non-creepy way). I'm open to suggestions on how to do this (in a non-creepy way).

I also got in a fight with my husband last night. Nothing major or anything, just a little spat. And it was my fault, which is so hard for me to admit, but it's true. I even admitted it was my fault and said I was sorry, so we're fine now. It all started because Luke was checking out houses online. The housing market around our area is dirt cheap for HUGE houses that typically have a sizable amount of land associated with them. Example: 4 bedroom, 3 bathroom home. Fully finished. 4 acres of land. All hard wood floors, yadda yadda yadda, some other nice stuff too, goes for $135,000 - $175,000. For those that don't know squat about the housing market, that's dirt cheap right there (why I just mocked Larry the Cable Guy, I don't know, but it just works because that's how folks talk in Wisconsin).

Long story short, Luke thinks it's possible for us to buy a house and I was being really negative about the whole thing. I get nervous when we talk about spending large sums of the money we've worked hard to save. But, naturally, it makes sense to invest that money into a home and some land. DUH. In hindsight, I understand why he got frustrated with my negative attitude. And I get it, we should consider it and we most likely will. I think I was just negative because both boys were "in a mood" last night (aka - didn't take good naps at school or daycare) and there were a million things to get done around my house. Had Luke approached me after the kids went to bed and had I finally had a chance to sit down and relax, the conversation would have been much different.

I also plan on getting hubs something to show how much I love and appreciate him. I love that he wants to grow and achieve and get a home and is thinking about the future for our family. Why was I being so negative?!?! How crappy of me.

Basically the point of my conversation today is that I need to appreciate the people in my life a little more. I need to slow down and smell the friggin' roses (literally and metaphorically).

So to get things started on the right foot, here are five things I'm grateful for today:

1. I got to spend the morning with my children. They drove into work with me and my mom picked them up to take them for the day. I got to hold them, kiss them and hear their voices for longer than a normal day. It was fantastic.
2. My husband already said "I love you" to me 3 times today. And meant it.
3. I got to spend quality one-on-one time with my boss talking about important issues and constructive ideas, rather than rushing through and not having his full attention. Seriously priceless - His insight is amazingly helpful and useful for professional growth.
4. I remembered my niece's and brother's birthdays and am sending them little cards and gifts in the mail today!
5. I have amazing friends. 

I will also end with this quote I came across in my readings this week:

Lisa Jackson, "To be a strong woman, you don't have to give up on the things that define you as a woman. Empowering yourself doesn't have to mean rejecting motherhood, or eliminating the nurturing or feminine aspects of who you are."

Amen, Lisa. Amen.

My Cup Runneth Over

This story stems from here.

I couldn't sleep last night after hearing this story. A man killed his own young daughters. His own flesh and blood. His own children. My mind cannot comprehend this and my heart is refusing to accept it. Tears swelled my eyes the moment my husband told me this story yesterday. People, this is just too much.


The policy chief of River Falls was quoted saying in his 34 years with River Falls, he has never witnessed a more unimaginable crime, nor has he ever dealt with a crime of this caliber.

I could go on and on about the tragedy of this event and I know most of you can agree this is completely awful.

If you're a mother like me, the thought of losing even one child is something I cannot ever fathom. And this mother lost all three. And so, my cup runneth over for this mother, her family, the friends of these three girls, and the community of River Falls, Wisconsin.

It is River Falls Days this weekend (town festival). Our family will be attending and you can bet we will be donating funds to this mother for her loss.

Some days I just can't bring myself to watch the news - To see the tragedies taking place in this world. To see man kind's hate, rage, vengeance, especially if it is against young children. Today is one of those days.... T.V., radio, and electronic silence in honor of these three angels.

Weekend Fluff.

I don't know about you guys, but our weekend was amazingly awesome. We spent so much time with family and friends and best of all, each other, and everything felt right in my world.

Friday my parents had Jacob (our youngest) for the day, then they picked up Colton (our oldest) from preschool, which was a surprise for him, he loved it. They then treated us all to dinner at Pier 500, which is this amazing restaurant on the St. Croix River. It's your typical American restaurant - Indoor and outdoor bars with lots of indoor and outdoor seating. Outside is more casual and inside is fancy. There just so happened to be a carnival right across the street too, so we took the kids over there after dinner for some fun and rides. Needless to say, everyone was pooped out when we got home - We were all in bed by 9:00 PM!

Saturday morning I was up at 6AM and went for a run - 4 miles was enough for me, it was already so hot and muggy! The kids were still sleeping when I got back, so I showered and started breakfast, french toast and sausage, YUM! And strawberries and bananas too... A trip to Target and a little outdoor playtime outside completed our morning. We took a trip to Stillwater, Luke got a new cell phone, then we went home, had lunch, took naps, then were off to a birthday party for our little cousin Eli. The birthday party was SO FUN - The kids swam, played in the sandboxes, went down slides, played on swings, jumped on a trampoline, went on a hayride and watched fireworks - Needless to say, everyone was pooped out when we got home!

Sunday was a lazy bones day - We all took naps - The kids slept for 5 HOURS!! Mommy and Daddy slept for 4 hours and we stayed in the air conditioning all day. I did a little cleaning and made dinner around 6:00. The kids were back in bed by 8:00 PM and Luke and I stayed up and watched The Dark Knight. I'm terrible at staying up to watch movies - I have good intentions, but I typically end up falling asleep on Luke. Last night was no exception.

I hit snooze this morning about 5 times, Monday mornings are SO TOUGH! I find myself conflicted every Monday morning... Should I quit? Become a SAHM? Then I get to work, start rockin' away at my emails and phone messages and realize this is awesome too - My job. My career. My work peeps. It is important to keep things in balance.

What was the highlight of your weekend??? I'd love to hear...


xx

Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act (PPACA or ACA Since 2010)

Unless you've been living under a rock with no access to radio, television or phone, or even earshot of other people, you're well aware of the Supreme Court's decision yesterday regarding three parts of the PPACA.

1) Does the law overstep federal authority in the "individual mandate" requiring most Americans to purchase health insurance or pay a financial penalty?

2) Must the entire PPACA be declared if that key provision is unconstitutional (or, in contrast, are the offending provisions "severable" such that the constitutional provisions may stand without them)?

3) Are states being "coerced" by the federal government to expand their share of Medicaid costs and administration, with the risk of losing that funding if they refuse?

Most notably being covered by the press is parts 1 and 2 - Rightly so since number 3 was ruled out (5-4 vote, by the way).

First of all, I'm incredibly irritated by everyone referring to this law, including news reporters and radio announcers, as Obamacare. Yes, yes, I understand that is the nickname of the law and they most likely refer to it as Obamacare so the general public will readily understand what they are referring to. HOWEVER, it is their DUTY to keep the general public informed - So, can we please start referring to this law by its name and/or abbreviation which, if you haven't figured it out by now is - The Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act or PPACA or ACA or PPA.


I'm also concerned for the fact that I bet most people believe the PPACA has not gone into effect yet and it was being "held up" by the Supreme Court. I hope that I'm wrong, but I have a feeling most don't know that this law went into effect back in March of 2010 (March 23, 2010, to be exact). It's going into effect in "small parts" - The law is incredibly, seriously super long - Our states take direction from the Federal Government on how to put these "parts" into effect, which, by the way, as a result of this law going into force has created a substantial amount of jobs, which, in my opinion, is a good thing.


Fun Fact: The Federal Government is using/has used Minnesota as its example on how to put many parts of this law into effect - Our state has the best healthcare system in the nation, however, I must point out, we pay into this program in our taxes - it. is. not. free.


I consider myself to be a person who remains "moderate" when it comes to political parties and all things political and I was honestly shocked the individual mandate passed through the Supreme Court. And it passed through because of congress' ability to imply a tax - which by the way, President Obama argued strongly and ruthlessly that this was not a tax, it was a penalty. I find it somewhat humorous that the fact it is  a tax, no matter the synonym you use, is what got the individual mandate through the Supreme Court.

I know the viewpoint above does not sound moderate, but I do believe the government should not FORCE any American to do anything they cannot afford to do. Obviously this is a loaded statement, but we are the land of the free and the home of the brave and to me this is crossing the line. And as a result of individuals not being able to afford it, they have to pay a penalty - Really, Uncle Sam? Come on, now.

That being said, I also do not like the fact that for individuals who choose not to have health insurance, even though they can absolutely afford it, when BAM something happens to them, guess who pays to help that person pay for the healthcare costs they cannot afford because they chose not to buy their own health insurance? If your answer is the government pays for it, you're wrong. You do. You pay for it in your taxes and your health insurance premiums (which are expected to keep rising FYI).

You know who really benefits from all this at the end of the day? The insurance companies and you guessed it, the government. The insurance companies benefit because everyone is being FORCED to buy coverage. The government benefits because if you choose not to buy coverage, you have to pay a penalty (tax) to Uncle Sam.

Unfortunately, this law is not a good thing for the insurance agent and financial professional community. Because of the states being allowed to create their own health insurance exchanges (again, they will receive instruction from the feds on how to do this), they are hiring a lot of employees for these programs. Part of those employees will be "advisors" to help individuals pick which plan is right for them and their families. These "advisors" do not even have to be insurance licensed professionals. Why? Because the government says they don't have to be. However, anyone else in the insurance or financial community will need to maintain their licenses and pay for continuing education - Strange. I know. Also, as a result of the "penalty" in the PPACA, companies will also pay a "penalty" of they do not offer health insurance to their employees. This "penalty" for bigger companies is actually cheaper than offering their employees benefits - So, as a CEO, what would you do? Pay the penalty and send your employees out into the exchange or continue to break your bank offering benefits? Hmm. Tough choice. The financial community will be taking a hit for this - They will lose clients to the exchange - No doubt about it. Especially if health insurance is their bread and butter. And let me tell you, they are fired up about this and are concerned for their clients well being.

I personally don't believe the PPACA does not address the real issue at hand with healthcare in our country - The issue of the lack of primary care. Our country does a fantastic job of instituting programs and initiatives and federal and state programs for those that are chronically ill. What are we doing to prevent people from becoming chronically ill???? Our country does not do a good job of taking care of its healthy population and most of all, KEEPING US HEALTHY and LIVING INDEPENDENTLY. And that, ladies and gentleman, is what is/and is going to continue bankrupting our country.

YOUR HEALTH IS EVERYTHING. Who are you without your good health? Heck, I complain even when I have a minor cold or sinus headache. Can you imagine being chronically ill and the amount of time you have to take off work, away from you family, and how quickly that BREAKS YOUR BANK.

Or how quickly you become mentally certain or sorry for my lack of etiquette with this next phrase, but brainwashed into believing you are unable to work or stay independent and anxious to have others take care of you or take advantage of state and federal programs - I understand not everyone does this and again, it's another loaded statement, but we have to have more programs and companies HELPING people stay financially independent for as long as possible. We need more companies like Lifesprk - check them out.

Don't get me wrong, I like the idea of everyone having access to healthcare. I don't, however, like the idea of government forcing Americans to buy health insurance coverage, especially those that do not have the means to do so or those that may have religious implications. I don't like the negative effect of this law on the financial community because it is one I work in and one I am passionate about. I also don't like that the PPACA does nothing to solve the primary issues at hand with the healthcare system in the United States, which is lack of primary care and lack of efforts to keep our population healthy and financially independent.

Phew. End rant. For update on what's next for the PPACA VISIT THIS SITE.

Tuesday Quote and Thoughts.

I've blogged about Oswald Chambers before, you can find that entry here.

I wanted to share with you a quote from Oswald Chambers that truly touched my heart today...

"The most important aspect of Christianity is not the work we do, but the relationships we maintain and the surrounding influences and qualities produced by those relationships. That is all God asks us to give our attention to, and it is the thing that is continually under attack."

I'm never out to push my beliefs on anyone or anything, but faith has been the one thing that has gotten be through some tough times. It's what I cling to when everything else goes wrong and I feel very small and out of control. And you know what? Almost instantly when I feel that closeness and presence of faith and God in my life, I feel better. No joke.

I believe it is important to talk about your faith, give credit to it and share it with others, but I don't think it's right to force it on other people or make them uncomfortable.

I hope you're all having a fantastic Tuesday and feel free to leave a comment on what gets you through life when all seems wrong (or better yet, when all seems right, who are you thanking?).

xx

Gratitude.

Colton - 2 Years. 9 Months.

Jacob - 1 year. 2 months.

I'm so grateful for my beautiful sons.

They light up my life and give me more joy than I could have ever expected.

In so many ways they have made me a better person.

I never knew my heart was capable of holding so much love.

Lucas & Nicole

And it all happened because we met, feel in love and come what may, will get through it all together.

Monday is a great day to name all the things we're thankful for. What are you most grateful for?

Randoms & Tidbits

I was driving into work this morning (which by the way has been averaging an hour and a half on the road because of summer road construction) and it occurred to me... My 27th birthday is in exactly two months.  TWENTY SEVEN. For anyone out there reading this that is older than me, I know you're rolling your eyes, but holy crap, I suddenly felt old, wondering when the hell my life started flying by so fast.

One of my close friends is about to have her second child. I'm anxious and excited for her. I'm thankful I will finally have a friend that has two children and someone that will really know and understand what I go through every day. I also feel like we're on a similar level when it comes to motherhood. If you're a mom, you know what I mean by this statement...

Being off  Facebook has been one of the best decisions I've ever made for my professional and personal life. I realized Facebook was making it difficult for me to look forward instead of backward. I'd be sucked into old pictures, thoughts of old flings, old habits and old friends - frequently wondering "what if" and feeling haunted by my past choices and feeling incapable of letting go - sometimes good, sometimes bad - but mostly just keeping and holding me back. Needless to say the freedom from all of this nonsense is freaking fantastic.

I've been reading a lot lately. Plowing through the books. I've read three books (700 page books) in the past three weeks. Not to mention I've been gobbling up magazine articles at work (mostly financial and work related materials). I love reading again. I love the house when it's completely quiet (after the kids go to bed) and I sit up and read. Luke usually stays by me too, sometimes it's nice to enjoy the quiet with your mate - there's something about it - it's just you two, alone, in the quiet, it's nice. More than nice.

I've also managed to make time for my friends and girl time. I'm surrounded by men all the time, at work and at home. Girl time is NECESSARY for me and flat out mandatory at least once a month, if not more.

My kids are getting easier and easier everyday. It hurts me that we don't have any little babies anymore - we have little boys! Luke and I have kicked around the idea of having more children someday, probably just one more. However, we also like the thought of being in our early 40's when our kids head off to college... And I have a hard time deciphering in my heart if we're meant to have more children... Time will tell.

Enough about me... What's been happening lately in your life that's given you freedom, relief or gratitude?

Male Psych 101

I received a novel text message from my best friend yesterday afternoon informing me of her extreme anger and disgust with her boyfriend. She was texting me for reassurance - you know how females do - she wanted to know if she had a place for the anger and that the place was "in the right" if ya' know what I mean... Prior to lighting the spark sure to be an inferno, sometimes you need a girlfriend in the background saying, hells yeah, get 'em!

Anyway... Long story short, my friend definitely had a place for the anger and I'm sure we'll learn how that all panned out at a later time, but as a result of what happened with my friend - I'm going to give a bit of friendly advice to you ladies in a relationship, marriage, partnership, whatever that will hopefully help you more effectively keep your man in check more attuned to your feelings when he messes up.

Let's start with simple guidelines. Below is a list of three things you absolutely must try your best not to do. Note I say "try your best" because sometimes the steps below are seriously impossible not to do.

Let's explore...

1. Men are simple minded creatures. Do not complicate the matter at hand my leaving room for grey area. For the love of God do not say things like, "I'm mad at you. And if you can't figure out why then we have even bigger problems to worry about." Chances are your man has no idea what the hell you're mad about. Yes, yes, I'm sure you wish he did, but he's just a man, not a mind reader. Get over it. Just tell him plain as day why the heck you're bent out of shape and deal with the issue head on like an adult.
2. If the reason you become flooded with anger against your man happens when he is NOT with you, DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT text him with obtuse comments like the point made in number one. Unless you want to pick a fight via text message, annoy the shit out of him and drive him away from you or receive a phone call to fight over the phone, hold back from the vague bitchy texts and distract yourself from the issue at hand until you can discuss with your man face to face. Again, like an adult.
3. When your man finally does get home, try to avoid being bitchy and short with him. Try to act normal; ask him how his day was, keep to your normal routine - You will know when the time is right to bring up your issue. I must warn you, if it's a really big issue, sometimes this step is impossible... But again, try to hold it together and act like an adult versus a hormonal teenage girl.

If your man messes up to the point that you want to start an inferno of a fight on him, which, let's face it, we're female - we tend to compromise ourselves to the point of no return and all it takes is a dirty dish in the sink to send us into angered oblivion... I want to elaborate on point number 1 above regarding men and "grey area" - most notably that you should leave none. How do you do this? By using one of the following three words to desribe the behavior at hand that has sent you spiraling out of control...

1. Inappropriate. Has anyone ever told you that your behavior is inappropriate? If not, pull the stick out of your butt and try doing something inappropriate for once in your life... (I'm semi-joking, I wish there was a sarcasm text). If so, you know that the word inappropriate stings! Especially as an adult! It doesn't exactly make you feel childish, but it definitely makes you feel in the wrong and small and you want to change that behavior immediately, possibly even turn back time to change it. And you can bet you'll be changing it going forward. Use this word with your man and there will be no grey area. It's either appropriate or it's inappropriate. Not really room for "in between". If your man has no regard for what you deem as appropriate, you may want to rethink your relationship...
2. Unacceptable. This is another fantastic word that leaves little to no room for grey area. Something is either acceptable or it's not. It also is a word that resignates in the brain. I don't know about you, but when someone close to me tells me they view something as "unacceptable" I tend to remember it...
3. Intolerable. This is another word that draws a hard line for you and your personal, emotional and physical boundaries that again, resignates in the brain. Also again, not much wiggle room for grey area.

A word of caution. Use the words above sparingly and carefully. Once you deem something as inappropriate, unacceptable or intolerable, don't change your mind. Stay true to yourself and how you feel. If your man cheats, is doing drugs, whatever - you have to draw a hard line on those types of behaviors if you feel there is one for YOUR personal needs.

I am not a man expert my any means. However, I did ask my husband about the above and he is in agreement. Bottom line is to make your point clear as day for your man - Don't leave him hanging, guessing or out to dry - let him in and deal with the issue at hand.

Happy Monday! 

50 Shades of Seriously Weird (Mid) Book Review & Weekend Fluff

Happy Friday, ya'll!

Man oh man have I had a busy week. And even though I promise every morning when I can barely get out of bed I will go to bed early, I end up staying up later than I ever imagine - Why, you ask? Because I succumbed to all the hype and started reading complete trash, otherwise known has Fifty Shades of Grey. Unless you have been living under a rock for the past year or so, I suspect you've heard of this book and I'm here to tell you that I'm surprised to find that it is not as bad as I expected it to be.

The way people have been talking about this book I expected it to be even more poorly written, however, the gross and uncomfortable, can't-sit-still-while-you-read effect that I heard all about it spot on. Christian Grey is definitely "fifty shades of f'ed up" - as he describes himself in the book.

Since this is a Twilight fan-fiction series, I wasn't surprised to find that my least favorite character is the main character, Anastasia "Ana" Steele (much like Twilight I personally couldn't stand Bella Swan). Even though you want to reach in and shake Ana in the book - at least she admits she's being a total idiot by falling for this complete freak-a-zoid. And for the record, the freak-a-zoid is insanely hot in the book - I can't help but lust after this character - he's rich, powerful, confident - on the outside, everything you want in a man. Behind closed doors, Ana should be running for the hills (again, she admits this in the book).

All in all, the book gets a C+ so far. I started it Tuesday and am almost done, so clearly the writing keeps you entertained, distracted and eating it up. However, the writing is seriously awful, over wordy and at times confusing because she uses big words unnecessarily.

And one last comment - It drives me bonkers when authors make immature young adults in their 20's talk like sophisticated old people in their 40's. It's unrealistic, irritating and corny. I'm also both concerned and disturbed that the book is getting as much hype as it is... I suppose that's another topic entirely...

Anyway - to switch gears, I'm totally psyched for this weekend. I get to go golfing with my old, good friend Jenna! We're golfing twilight golf tonight, then grabbing a bite to eat afterward. I have to say Jenna is definitely one of my best friends. I tell this girl anything and everything and she always understands. Best of all, she's never judged and has been by my side, through thick and thin. She's got my back and I tell you what, as a female, those types of friends are hard to come by. Love this girl.


The rest of the weekend will be non-stop I'm sure tending to our garden (Colton and Luke's garden, that is), playing trucks, cars and tractors outside and hopefully getting some good running time. Both the kids like to come running with me now, it's so much fun to have them with me going, "Faster, mommy!" Talk about fantastic motivation. I hope at least one of the boys likes to run so they can come with me someday...

Wishing you all a fabulous weekend and if you find yourself with nothing to do, I won't judge you if you wind up like me getting lost in the trash that is Fifty Shades of Grey...


Laters, Readers!

Photos!

I Have My Own Intern.

EXCITED FACE!

I'm happy to report my career has officially come full circle in one aspect - I now have my very own summer intern! I started in the workplace as an intern at an event center on Lake Minnetonka and loved it. I learned so much and I can only hope that my intern will learn as much here as I did at my first internship.

I WAS SO EXCITED when I heard we were getting a summer intern. Right now I am the only person driving the Business Development train at my office and I desperately need an assistant, but we have no room for anymore employees. Our company is bursting at the seams as far as capacity (good thing), but we're hesitant to move our offices to anywhere bigger... It will happen eventually, but right now, we're working with what we've got.

However, I must say having an intern is not all it's cracked up to be. Here I was thinking I was going to have tons of stuff for him to do when in actuality, he can't help me with a lot of aspects of my job because they're too detailed and complicated. It would be like him trying to come into The Good Shepard half-way through and figure out what the heck is going on - it's literally impossible.

As a result I have him doing easy tasks - updating our social networks, making sales calls, securing venues for upcoming events, etc. I know he is learning new things because he told me he is learning a lot, but I really hope that he gets a lot out of this opportunity and hey, maybe even secures a job at the end of summer? Doubtful, but if he rocks it he totally could.

Another thing I continually need to remind myself about is that he's so young! 21-22 years old and still has one semester left of school and as a result, at times his maturity level is a bit low... That's alright though. I still have moments that I act like a 21-year-old (this past weekend, for example, we got pretty rowdy at my friend's wedding) and I am sure I'll have more, but at times, it's like oh yeah... You're REALLY young still and it definitely shows.

For those of you that are my age - late 20's - my advice to you is to stay on your game. One thing I've noticed about this young chap is he is SMART and QUICK to learn, especially new technology. It's remarkable, really. I give him something to do and he is on it like white on  rice and bothering me for more to do. He's also willing and eager to learn new things and learns them fast. It's awesome, but gives me good reason to stay on top of my own skills because wow, the young ones are smart ya'll!!!

Well... Back to work!

PS - if you want to see more about what I do at work all day check out my companies blog HERE. We're also on Facebook here. Oh and one last thing, I'm featured on a training video here (the bottom video).

20-Something's Kinda Suck.

Yeah, yeah, I'm blogging twice today. Turns out my husband and I can't go away ever for a weekend without coming home to a sick child or sick children. Once again proving my point that I don't fully trust anyone else with our kids.

The past few weeks my husband and I have been going through the biggest valley we have ever been through in our marriage. We have been married two and a half years, together for seven years, have two children and as of late the honeymoon stage has been officially over. We are still learning how to be partners in life and compromise the best we can. I firmly believe there are always times in a marriage or relationship where one person feels they are giving 110% and the other person is maybe giving 50% at most. But, that's life and that's marriage and that's partnership! You agree to pull the other person's weight, however, you agree to pull the weight only if you trust they will pull the weight for you when the tables turn. Phew. That was a mouth full. But I know you understand what I'm saying.

One thing I can say is during this hard time we've gone through, we have communicated until we were blue in the face. I swear you can never talk to your husband, significant other, life partner, etc. enough. And I can also firmly say that I have been doing a better job at not TRIANGULATING the problem.

Example: Luke does something that makes me upset. Instead of just telling him about it, I call my mom and tell her about it. Or I call a friend and tell her about it. Before I even bring it to Luke I've escalated, or as I like to call it, TRIAGULATED the problem. I brought in a third party that is not objective and you know what happens then? The problem escalates even bigger and gets out of hand.

I suck at not triagulating. I run to my mom on a lot of things. I've been trying to get better at not doing that - it's dumb and immature and I need to just start dealing with life on my own.

I've also realized that being in our 20's has been REALLY REALLY REALLY HARD. Not only are we in our 20's, we're in our 20's with two kids, which at times seems financially impossible and the road ahead starts to look bleak. I'm so glad I have Luke to keep my head up. I'm not one to get down and frustrated and sad, but lately, man it's been really tough. I've been having a tough time seeing the glass half full and have been crying a lot - it's like a constant state of breaking up and putting back together again.

There have been a lot of changes in my "self" too. I've been reading the Bible a lot more, doing not just one, but two devotions a day. There are certain aspects of myself that I've been breaking up with and moving on from, just trying to become the best version of myself. I've also been finding myself not caring as much about what people think - I know that may sound dumb, but I'm so over caring about judgment because I know I'm not perfect and I make a ton of mistakes, but I also know that I'm doing the best I can and I'm giving it all I've got.

Isn't it strange in life how we go through transitions? It's like we wake up and know that something is just DIFFERENT. Like we know who we were yesterday is not who we are today and it's scary, but exciting at the same time because usually when this happens, you feel BETTER and STRONGER.

It's like that country song...

Life's a dance, you learn as you go;
Sometimes you lead, sometimes you follow.
Don't worry 'bout what you don't know;
Life's a dance, you learn as you go... 

Wedded Bliss!

This past weekend I had the opportunity to be involved in one of my closest friend's weddings. I was chosen to be her personal attendant. I was of course happy to help any way I could! I love my friend dearly and wanted to make sure her day would run smoothly. However, I was in no way prepared to be a personal attendant. I definitely should have done some research before I signed on for this job! We were laughing about it, but I honestly felt so much stress about the whole thing because I was unprepared! At one point someone even mistook me for the wedding planner. My husband was in absolute hysterics as he was standing right next to me when someone questioned a "blip" in the program. There were lots of laughs throughout the day and I didn't have a chance to talk with the bride after everything, but I think she was pleased with her special day!

All in all, I'd say the wedding was a success. My friend looked absolutely stunning, the epitome of what a bride should be and I know she and her new husband are going to live a long, happy life together.

I do want to take a moment to share with you all a few new rules I have learned about being involved in a wedding. I firmly believe there is etiquette you absolutely must follow. Please note I'm by no means a wedding planning professional and there are a lot more rules of etiquette I'm sure to be found online...

These are my points:

1. If you are a member of the bridal party (guy or girl) in any way, shape or form, try on what you are wearing before the actual day of the wedding. There is no time on the day of to take anything in, out or off whatever it may be that you are assigned to wear.
2. Don't forget this day is all about the bride and groom. That's it. No one else. If the bride or groom ask you to do something, do it. Simple as that.
3. Get good rest! A wedding is not just a ceremony and a reception. There are videos and photos being taken all day long and trust me, you are going to want to look fantastic in these pictures that are going to be shared for lifetimes to come.
4. If you absolutely must slip away for a moment during this big day for a drink, some food, a cigarette, a phone call, whatever it may be - do it at a time that is appropriate and when you've been made sure the bride or groom do not need you - especially prior to the ceremony. Once the reception comes around, there is wiggle room for this point.
5. If you are a personal attendant, come prepared for absolutely everything you can possibly think of - case in point, I didn't have a scissors and when I didn't have a scissors I got a lot of looks like, "Why the heck don't you have a scissors? DUH! You should totally have a scissors!" - Pack an "emergency" kit of sorts and possibly review scenarios with the bride before hand so you can be prepared together!

I'm so happy I got to be there for my friend and take part in every aspect of her wedding day. It was such a treat and I seriously learned A LOT about weddings! As a result of my stress of being unprepared in some ways for my assigned duties, I definitely drank way too much at the reception, however, after asking others, weddings seem to be a prime occasion for that to happen.

Happy wishes to my friend and her new hubby - I'm happy to say that there is another couple in my circle of friends that are now "married". xxoo

Inspiration.

Hi, My Name Is (Insert Name Here), and I'm Addicted To Facebook.

I deactivated my Facebook account over the weekend. I debated about announcing the fact that I deactivated the account, mainly because I don't want to draw attention to it, but I think it is important to talk about why I deactivated it in the first place.

Facebook Logo.

Over the past month or so I can honestly say Facebook has been consuming too much of my time. I recently added my own company onto Facebook and as a result, I would spend more time than I intended to surfing around others pictures, status updates, wall posts and needless to say, it was becoming a huge distraction for me! Both at work and at home. Then it dawned on me, Facebook has always been a distraction. Not to mention, it began to creep me out how many of my "friends" weren't actually "friends" -ifyaknowwhatimean.

Facebook was also inadvertently making me feel things such as...

• Jealous.
• Inferior.
• Judgmental.
• Accusing.
• Superior.

It is IMPOSSIBLE to not judge people when you're on Facebook. Whether you're pitying someone for even daring to post about how hungover they are on a Tuesday or you're totally jealous of your friend from high school that just received an engagement ring the size of Texas (seriously? Why her? She's not even that pretty. OMG.)... And the whole cycle continues in a sick, sick way - a never-ending stream of gossip and smack talk.

Enough already.

All those characteristics described above are all characteristics I would never use to describe myself, but I instantly take on all of them just by signing onto Facebook and surfing my newsfeed.

I've handed the admin status of my company's Facebook over to our summer intern for the time being and I'm sure I'll be forced to reactivate the account at some point to access my company page after he is gone, but until then, check you later, Facebook. I'm done letting you consume my life and my character.

Financial Fluff.

Finances Can Be Confusing.

As promised, I'm writing again this week about a much lighter topic than my quarter-life crisis. A big thank you to the comments I received, by the way. My readers (and friends) are so thoughtful, understanding and supportive.


Anywho - onto the financial fluff. How's everyone doing with some of the financial suggestions I've tossed out? I was sad concerned I received no emails about the financial planning first steps post I put together back in March and to boot, I didn't receive hardly any reaction about the disability planning. I can't possibly put into words how passionately I feel about having a solid financial plan - I don't care who you are, wherever you are - what the hell heck is your financial plan? What are your financial goals for the future? Where do you want to be financially in 6 months? 1 year? 2 years? 5 years? 10 years?


If you don't have answers to all these questions, it's something you should look into finding answers for, but it's OK - that's why I'm here. If nothing else, my goal is to motivate you to take action, take control and take responsibility for your financial situation.


Couple of facts:

1. 44% of American Families spend more than they earn. If this number isn't alarming to you, please read this statistic again. This stat seriously makes me hurt because I know, for a fact, that a good portion of this percentage is because of point number two...
2. Despite this fact, Americans continue to live outside their means. Enough with all this "keep up with the Jones'" mentality. In fact, enough with all the over access crap. Example from my own financial situation: My husband and I recently decided to cancel our cable and get basic television. Why? Because "cable" was costing us over $100 per month and we were constantly complaining there was nothing on T.V. Not to mention our sons are obsessed with the movies Hop and Cars and we normally are forced to watch too... Now we pay $10 a month for basic T.V. Presto! An extra $90+ per month into our savings.

A few suggestions (please follow these steps):

1. Write down, right now, on paper, how much money you TAKE HOME in a month. The "take home" part is important - Unfortunately, you pay Uncle Sam first...
2. Create categories according to what you spend your money on (rent/mortgage, food, gas, utility bills, cable/internet, cell phone, daycare/school costs, insurances, student loans, credit cards, etc.) DO NOT CHEAT YOURSELF. Be honest about your "spending categories".
3. Write down the dollar amount you spent in each of these categories in the past month - You can do this by going to http://www.mint.com and it will do it for you - However, you can also easily do it yourself by looking at your bank statement.
4. Add up all your spending dollars and subtract it from the number you wrote down in number 1.
5. HOW DID YOU DO? Did you spend more than you earn? Spend less than you earn? Break even to what you earn?

Next steps:

If you spend more than you earn... Do the same exercise (steps 1-5) for two months prior to see if this is a trend. Sometimes things happen - you had car trouble, a medical expense came up or you threw a party and spent more on food than normal - What's important is to recognize if you have a pattern of spending more than you earn. If the pattern if more spending is clear, make two columns on a piece of paper: One column should be a list of things you "can financially control" and the other should be things that you "cannot financially control". (Example: Price of Gas is something you cannot financially control, but you can control how much you're driving around). From those columns, you have to decide where you can cut back on spending. Pretty simple, but it's a lot easier said than done.

It doesn't stop there, challenge yourself to stick to these guidelines! Do this exercise again in a couple of months and see how you're staying on track. If you're continually getting off track, I would consider sitting down with a financial professional.

Another bit of advice, take a look at how many allowances/dependents you claim on your paycheck. Did you know you can take home more money if you claim more allowances? I was only claiming 2 for the longest time, then I realized that I can claim myself, my husband and both our kids and PRESTO! $200 more on each paycheck! BE CAREFUL though. You may have to pay back some of the money at the end of the year if you take home too much...

If you break even to what you earn I would do the same as I've recommended above. You may not be spending more right now, but if you're breaking even of "right on the cuff" that's still not the greatest because you're not saving or getting ahead financially. I would consider scaling back on your lifestyle in some ways to be able to save each month. Even if it's only $30-$50, it's better than $0.

That's all on financial fluff for today! I hope you learned something and if not, thanks for reading anyway!

... In A Rut

I think I experienced my quarter-life crisis.

Lately I have felt stuck. Out of place. A little anxious. Waiting. Expecting. Changing?

I haven't been blogging at all lately. Maybe because I haven't had anything exciting to share, not to mention I've been busier than busy. Crazy more like. The last time I did write though was about how I'm a crazy working mom and all the things that I have to do everyday. After I wrote it it dawned on me that I shouldn't be having to feel so overwhelmed all the time for all the responsibilities I have - shouldn't my husband be sharing some of these burdens with me? Why do I feel so alone?

So I gave this some thought. Why DO I feel so alone? Probably because I was alone most of the time, in the responsibility sharing anyway. I may not have been physically alone all the time, although I was a lot, I felt alone because I was, and am, the only person in my household that takes our lives by the reigns, takes control and takes responsibility.

I cried. A lot. I felt disappointment my life was where it was at and confused as to how it got there. I was so unhappy. I still do feel unhappy, but not as bad as I was feeling because I realized that in this life, in my life, sometimes you just do what you have to do.

I also realized that I needed to talk with my husband. A serious "come to Jesus" kind of talk if you know what I mean.  I told my husband how I felt. I told him there was a big difference between "helping around the house" and "actually taking responsibility for things". I swear I could go on and on and on about all the things I do that I feel my husband doesn't even notice - Really? Do you think some magic fairy comes in here while we're at work everyday? -- Regardless -- I told him I needed some help. That I couldn't do it anymore. I was exhausted and on the verge of breakdown.

The response I got from him wasn't ideal. I'm still hurting from it and the fact that maybe this is it for me. I may be alone and feel alone for a while, at least until the boys get older and they will want to do more boy-type things with their dad. But here is the difference - you see the picture above? I was feeling like the guy in yellow, but now I'm starting to feel more like that annoying-ly happy and optimistic person in pink. Maybe not quite that giddy, but close enough to satisfy me for now.

I also think I had a skewed picture of my husband in my head up until this point. I thought he would change and grow and he hasn't. A man is only as good as the woman who stands behind him/beside him, so the past few weeks when I've been having my quarter-life crisis, he hasn't been the greatest either, probably because he can sense my unhappiness. As a result, I'm trying to come to terms with the fact that he is at where he is at and as long as he is happy with who he is and where he is going, I should be too, right?

Except I'm not. I want him to be better. I want him to want to be better. I want him to work harder. I want him to want to work harder. I want him to spend time with me and the boys. I want him to want to spend time with me and the boys. I want him to drink less. I want him to want to drink less. I don't tell him these things. I stay supportive and positive. After all, nagging is the number one reason couples get divorced these days...

And we are getting better. My husband and I are going on a date night tonight. I'm trying here, guys. I told him we need to make an effort to hang out with each other at least a couple times a month. He agreed - willingly, might I add. It was scary thinking that my marriage was sort of rocky for a few weeks there - we've never experienced something like that before and I know it won't be the last time.

The biggest thing I want from him is to put us, me, his wife, and his children, our sons, first and foremost instead of trying to do everything else besides just simply be with us and be content.

It's hard. But right now I don't feel as alone as I did a couple weeks ago and that is definitely a sign things are going in the right direction. I never would have made it through these weeks without My Faith or my wonderful mother, who always has an ear to listen, a heart to open and courage to tell me the ugly truth when I need to hear it.

I promise to write about some financial or health and wellness fluff later this week.

Thanks for those that made it through this rant post.

Just Give It To Me Straight

Exhaustion - (ig-zos-chen) - The act or process of exhausting; the state of being exhausted.


See the picture to the right? That is me. Literally, that is me - However, you need to add one more child to the mix.

I'm officially exhausted this week. I've been working late almost every night, Jacob got a double ear infection, I cook dinner every night, my work is always with me via mobile phone, I'm reading Girl With The Dragon Tattoo, I've been waking up at the crack of dawn to keep up with my running regimen, my company has corporate events galore in the next two weeks and none of our materials are ready or right - I'm too exhausted to even think about having a drink, which is probably exactly what I need right now to relax.

And to boot, I'm totally bitchy, PMSing and craving chocolate like nobody's business...

Something's gotta give. I admit it, I can't do all of this and keep this momentum or success. I feel like I'm juggling five million balls in the air and if I lose one, they're all going to drop. I feel like I'm half-assing everything all the time because I can only give so much of my time to certain places - being a wife, being a mother, being an employee, being a daughter, being a sister, being a cousin, being a friend - I can't give my all to anything right now and for someone that hates to be a half-asser, it sucks and I feel like a failure all. the. time.

What do I do?

I love my life, but sometimes it's so freaking hard I just want to cry. I want a hug. I want to be alone with my thoughts and sit in a jacuzzi tub with my book and have everyone leave me alone. I want an uninterrupted night of sleep. I want things that I can't have right now and may not have for a long time, and that's the truth of the matter, which I'm fine with, but right now I'm having one of those freaking hard moments. It will pass, as it always does.

PS - Sorry I've sucked at blogging. Because of the remarks above, I've been completely crazy. I will get better at blogging and I need to schedule time to blog because I love it.

All for now. I hope everyone enjoys their weekend and I hope that I get some time to reboot, refresh and debrief.

More Really Good Financial Advice - Protect. Your. Paycheck.



Financial Plan Pyramid

If you rely on your paycheck to make the rent, pay the mortgage, buy food, pay your bills, to live, then you definitely need to seriously consider reading my blog today (not that you shouldn't everyday, right?)...

Today we're going to talk not only about finances, but the importance of a financial plan. I know, I know, BORING! But no, seriously, everyone (even me) knows that financial planners are a dime-a-dozen these days, BUT I guarantee if you take five minutes to read this post, you can make your own financial plan and may not even need the help of a professional if you don't want to deal with the headache.

I like to use symbolism and pictures when I talk about financial planning and today is no different. To the right you see a pyramid and the conversation today revolves around the bottom of the pyramid, which represents the "base" of your financial plan.

As I began saying, if you rely on your paycheck, or your spouse's or partner's paycheck to make it from week-to-week, what's your plan if you, your spouse or partner becomes too sick or hurt to work? Lemme guess...

Worker's Compensation? Alright, fair enough. However, what happens if they get sick or hurt OFF the job?

Savings? Really? How much savings to you have? 3 months? 6 months? A year? Yeah right, I seriously don't believe you. Keep reading.

Have disability coverage through work? OK, that's cool. However, did you know that only covers 60% of your total pay and most likely doesn't include commissions, bonuses or any incentive pay? To boot, it's most likely a taxable benefit if your employer is providing it, so it really comes down to like... 40% of your total pay. Can you live off 40% of your total pay? Probs not.

...So, back to my point, what are you doing to PROTECT YOUR PAYCHECK that funds your friggin' life?!?

As much as we all hate to admit that money is everything, we need it. We're talking about being able to provide for a family, keep a roof over heads, keep food on the table, keep gas in the car, ummm... it sort of is everything, right? (Damn the man!) But, it's true.

Did you know you can protect your paycheck by purchasing your very own disability insurance? (Sidenote: Ahhh! I hate the word insurance, but that's what it is. We can also call it Disability Income Protection- MUCH BETTER.) And best of all, it's reasonably priced. Disability Income Protection protects you and your family if you become too sick or hurt to work and believe it or not, illness is the highest rate of claims, NOT accidents...

Some statistics for you (taken from The Council for Disability Awareness http://www.disabilitycanhappen.org/)...

• 44% of U.S. families spend more than they earn.
• One-third of U.S. families have no retirement savings.
• 60% of adult Americans have NO savings for emergencies.
• About 100 million workers are without private disability income insurance.
• 71% of Americans would find it difficult to meet their current financial obligations if their next paycheck were delayed for one week.

...See why I didn't believe you about that savings BS you said earlier?

People, I don't write today to scare you or cause you to be paranoid about getting cancer or getting in a car accident. I'm simply asking that you take a look at your financial plan - (if you don't have one, I'm seriously shaking my head right now... email me)- and do the following...

1. START A SAVINGS ACCOUNT. Make sure you have at least three months worth of savings put away in case something, anything happens to your income. In fact, I would challenge you to do at least 6 months if you can! If you think you can't save any money, seriously email me and I will help you - that's how much I believe this is SO important, literally tearing up I'm so passionate about this. I'm a dork, I know.
2. MAKE A DISABILITY PLAN. Determine what your or your family's plan is if you or your spouse/partner becomes too sick or hurt to work - I'm talking a short-term plan and a long-term plan because you should have a plan for BOTH. If you do number 1, you should be able to purchase some Disability Insurance (DI) for whoever is working. If it's both of you, and you rely on both your incomes, then you both need a plan. Period. No excuses. Again, I'm so passionate about this because it happens ALL THE TIME. Unpected illness accounts for a huge amount of home foreclosures - true statement - look it up.
3. DON'T JUST READ THIS AND NOT TAKE ACTION. This step speaks for itself.

If you seriously have questions about any of this information, email me. I don't sell this stuff, I advocate for its importance because I am seriously passionate about protecting people from financial catastrophies.

Happy Planning and Happy Hump Day!

Freedom

Freedom isn't all it's cracked up to be.

"...Yep. That's how I intend to keep it. No responsibilities," my coworker said to me last week when I commented on his care-free, cavalier lifestyle. Although I gave off the impression to him that I'm jealous, I'm not. I can't imagine what it would be like to have no mate, no children and no regard for anyone but yourself. How selfish. How silly. How foreign to a wife and mother like me.

Freedom isn't all it's cracked up to be.

This past Saturday my children stayed with my parents while Luke and I got a chance to have a "date day" and went to a surprise party for one of our friends. "Date day" was awesome. We went golfing, had a couple of cocktails and were home by 4:30ish. We took a shower and got ready for the surprise party. Dinner and the surprise were both fun, but over by about 9:00 and then everyone wanted to go to the bar. All I wanted to do was go home and snuggle in bed with my husband and our kids.

We proceeded to the bar. I really didn't want to be there and I suck at hiding my feelings. Even when I try to hide it, they're still written all over my face and my actions and people usually perceive my as a bitch at that point - I don't even care anymore what they think because that's exactly how I'm acting and they have every right to think that way about me. No I don't want a drink. No I definitely don't want a shot of anything and by the way, I don't care how good of friends you are with my husband, do. not. touch. me. Yep. That's basically the vibe I gave off all night. I sipped on a few beers and pretended to take a shot with our birthday friend. We got home at 3:00 A.M. I was sober and completely exhausted. Husband was not even a sliver of sober and also completely exhausted.

Freedom isn't all it's cracked up to be.

I woke up at 7 A.M. yesterday, put a pot of coffee on and was so anxious. I just wanted to be with my children. I hated the fact that I was missing banana pancakes, Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and morning snuggles. I went to the grocery store and stocked up on all things healthy for the week. Finally 10:00 A.M. arrived and I got to pick up the boys. I cried when I picked them up I was so overcome with happiness to see them. Geez I'm totally crazy - we weren't even apart for 24 hours at that point. They were both equally excited and happy to see me too.

Freedom isn't all it's cracked up to be.

My morning and early afternoon was filled with hugs, sloppy kisses, sidewalk chalk, trucks, cars, tractors, macoroni and cheese, bubbles and a two-hour nap next to my one-year old and a pile of clean laundry that needed to be folded... That two hours of sleep was better than any rest I got all weekend.

Freedom isn't all it's cracked up to be.

Evening was filled with more sloppy kisses, hugs, cuddling, lightning mcqueen, trike rides, a drive by the river with the windows down, steak dinner, bath time and a movie. I was in bed early and felt my husband come in later and hug and kiss me goodnight.

Freedom isn't all it's cracked up to be.

So many people think we're crazy. So what? We love our married life and our children. Freedom isn't all it's cracked up to be, which is something you can only discover once you're not free.