Gratitude.

Colton - 2 Years. 9 Months.

Jacob - 1 year. 2 months.

I'm so grateful for my beautiful sons.

They light up my life and give me more joy than I could have ever expected.

In so many ways they have made me a better person.

I never knew my heart was capable of holding so much love.

Lucas & Nicole

And it all happened because we met, feel in love and come what may, will get through it all together.

Monday is a great day to name all the things we're thankful for. What are you most grateful for?

Randoms & Tidbits

I was driving into work this morning (which by the way has been averaging an hour and a half on the road because of summer road construction) and it occurred to me... My 27th birthday is in exactly two months.  TWENTY SEVEN. For anyone out there reading this that is older than me, I know you're rolling your eyes, but holy crap, I suddenly felt old, wondering when the hell my life started flying by so fast.

One of my close friends is about to have her second child. I'm anxious and excited for her. I'm thankful I will finally have a friend that has two children and someone that will really know and understand what I go through every day. I also feel like we're on a similar level when it comes to motherhood. If you're a mom, you know what I mean by this statement...

Being off  Facebook has been one of the best decisions I've ever made for my professional and personal life. I realized Facebook was making it difficult for me to look forward instead of backward. I'd be sucked into old pictures, thoughts of old flings, old habits and old friends - frequently wondering "what if" and feeling haunted by my past choices and feeling incapable of letting go - sometimes good, sometimes bad - but mostly just keeping and holding me back. Needless to say the freedom from all of this nonsense is freaking fantastic.

I've been reading a lot lately. Plowing through the books. I've read three books (700 page books) in the past three weeks. Not to mention I've been gobbling up magazine articles at work (mostly financial and work related materials). I love reading again. I love the house when it's completely quiet (after the kids go to bed) and I sit up and read. Luke usually stays by me too, sometimes it's nice to enjoy the quiet with your mate - there's something about it - it's just you two, alone, in the quiet, it's nice. More than nice.

I've also managed to make time for my friends and girl time. I'm surrounded by men all the time, at work and at home. Girl time is NECESSARY for me and flat out mandatory at least once a month, if not more.

My kids are getting easier and easier everyday. It hurts me that we don't have any little babies anymore - we have little boys! Luke and I have kicked around the idea of having more children someday, probably just one more. However, we also like the thought of being in our early 40's when our kids head off to college... And I have a hard time deciphering in my heart if we're meant to have more children... Time will tell.

Enough about me... What's been happening lately in your life that's given you freedom, relief or gratitude?

Photos!

Freedom

Freedom isn't all it's cracked up to be.

"...Yep. That's how I intend to keep it. No responsibilities," my coworker said to me last week when I commented on his care-free, cavalier lifestyle. Although I gave off the impression to him that I'm jealous, I'm not. I can't imagine what it would be like to have no mate, no children and no regard for anyone but yourself. How selfish. How silly. How foreign to a wife and mother like me.

Freedom isn't all it's cracked up to be.

This past Saturday my children stayed with my parents while Luke and I got a chance to have a "date day" and went to a surprise party for one of our friends. "Date day" was awesome. We went golfing, had a couple of cocktails and were home by 4:30ish. We took a shower and got ready for the surprise party. Dinner and the surprise were both fun, but over by about 9:00 and then everyone wanted to go to the bar. All I wanted to do was go home and snuggle in bed with my husband and our kids.

We proceeded to the bar. I really didn't want to be there and I suck at hiding my feelings. Even when I try to hide it, they're still written all over my face and my actions and people usually perceive my as a bitch at that point - I don't even care anymore what they think because that's exactly how I'm acting and they have every right to think that way about me. No I don't want a drink. No I definitely don't want a shot of anything and by the way, I don't care how good of friends you are with my husband, do. not. touch. me. Yep. That's basically the vibe I gave off all night. I sipped on a few beers and pretended to take a shot with our birthday friend. We got home at 3:00 A.M. I was sober and completely exhausted. Husband was not even a sliver of sober and also completely exhausted.

Freedom isn't all it's cracked up to be.

I woke up at 7 A.M. yesterday, put a pot of coffee on and was so anxious. I just wanted to be with my children. I hated the fact that I was missing banana pancakes, Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and morning snuggles. I went to the grocery store and stocked up on all things healthy for the week. Finally 10:00 A.M. arrived and I got to pick up the boys. I cried when I picked them up I was so overcome with happiness to see them. Geez I'm totally crazy - we weren't even apart for 24 hours at that point. They were both equally excited and happy to see me too.

Freedom isn't all it's cracked up to be.

My morning and early afternoon was filled with hugs, sloppy kisses, sidewalk chalk, trucks, cars, tractors, macoroni and cheese, bubbles and a two-hour nap next to my one-year old and a pile of clean laundry that needed to be folded... That two hours of sleep was better than any rest I got all weekend.

Freedom isn't all it's cracked up to be.

Evening was filled with more sloppy kisses, hugs, cuddling, lightning mcqueen, trike rides, a drive by the river with the windows down, steak dinner, bath time and a movie. I was in bed early and felt my husband come in later and hug and kiss me goodnight.

Freedom isn't all it's cracked up to be.

So many people think we're crazy. So what? We love our married life and our children. Freedom isn't all it's cracked up to be, which is something you can only discover once you're not free.