My best friend's family is seriously going too far with taking advantage of her. I can't take it anymore. If she doesn't say something I'm honestly contemplating having a heart-to-heart with her mother and older sister myself.
For privacy purposes in honor of my friend, she is referred to as "Sharon" in my blog. I've noted this in a past entry that I refer to her as "Sharon" because she resemles the character "Sharon" on my favorite soap opera The Young and The Restless. The. Best. Soap. Ever.
History: Sharon's mom moved in with her and boyfriend almost 1 year ago. She had lost her job, times are tough right now in the economy and she needed a place to live. Sharon's boyfriend agreed to have her mom come and move in at no cost to her until she could afford to pay them, then eventually get out and find her own place. In the past year, Sharon has not only provided and paid for a place for her mom to live, she has also given her money to put gas into her car, pay her bills, buy food and even provided spending money. Not only has Sharon been doing these things for her mom, but she's been doing these things for her older sister too.
Sharon's mom found a job and has been working for a while now, maybe 6 months, and has found her own place to live and plans to move in March 1st. She also made the decision to go back to school and is collecting student loans, some of the loan money is going to go toward paying for her new place to live.
Sharon's older sister is also back in school down south - Sharon's mom has been paying for everything for her older sister (phone, $400 per month car payment, spending money, gas, you name it) because she can't find a job down at school. Because of this, Sharon's mom still has no money to support herself because every cent she's earning is going toward Sharon's older sister, and as a result, Sharon is left paying for her mom, basically providing for her mom, and her sister some too if her mom can't afford something.
Sharon told me this morning that she is so close to just saying, "Screw it" and walking away from everything (boyfriend included because obviously this whole situation has put a major damper on their relationship) and let her family figure their own situations out for themselves. For pete's sake they are friggin' adults! What is going on here?!?
However, Sharon has too kind of heart to do this to her family. I'm trying to encourage her to seriously talk to them and say how much she loves them and wants to help them, but she has emotional, physical and mental limits! She's being stretched way too thin right now.
She had 2 lines crossed this morning by her mom and sister:
1. Mom asked if Sharon could pay for her deposit at her new place. Really? How are you thinking you can afford rent if you can't pay for your deposit? Her mom even had the nerve to say to her (something along the lines of), "What's the big deal? Don't you have that money in your savings?" - Yes, Sharon does, but it's HER SAVINGS.
2. Her sister told Sharon this morning that she's going to use some of the money from her tax return to go on a spring break trip with her friends from school to New Orleans (and not to say anything to their mom about it). Really? How about putting your family first and paying them back some of the money you owe them OR better yet, SAVING THE MONEY to start paying some of your own bills?
You guys, I'm at my wits end here. On top of all this, both mom and sister have (what sounds like) terrible spending habits (i.e. going out to eat, purchasing things out of their means, etc.). I love Sharon, and I love her family too, but they are seriously really taking advantage of her right now.
I advised her to talk to them about what's she's feeling before she says or does something she regrets and that her family doesn't see coming. At least if she tells them that she's at her wits end and they need to figure their lives out or she's cutting them off, they know what's coming...
Thoughts?
Showing posts with label Best Friend. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Best Friend. Show all posts
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
Friday, December 30, 2011
Free Yo' Mind, And the Rest Will Follow
This week has been a bit dramatic, but also life-changing for my best friend. She may not view it that way, but I've known her for years and I can honestly say that she has come leaps and bounds in the area of self-esteem and self-worth, and this week was just another step in the right direction.
If my best friend is reading my blog, she may kill me that I'm exposing her life so, for the sake of anonymity, I'm going to call her Sharon; which is quite fitting because she resembles Sharon from the soap opera that I watch (Young and the Restless on week-daily at 11:00 AM on Channel 4, tune in, it's SO awesome. But, be warned, it's horribly addicting).
Sharon called me on Monday after Christmas and told me that she got into it with her family over the holiday. She proceeded to tell me that she literally had a mental/psychotic/crazy/bitch-fest breakdown at them and I could tell she was feeling some remorse about it.
Normally this wouldn't be the biggest deal in the world, but Sharon's family (her mom and her sister) are living with Sharon, in her boyfriend's home with her and her boyfriend, for little to no cost. Her mom has been there for almost a year, maybe longer, I don't remember exactly, and her sister just stays with them when she's home for visits from college.
Please note: I love Sharon's mom and sister dearly. I've known her for years and she has always been there for me in transitions in my life, in many ways, they're like a mother and sister to me too. And the thoughts I'm expressing are merely out of the frustration and hurt I feel in my heart because of the frustration and hurt my best friend is feeling.
Sharon has done everything she can for her mom, and some for her sister too, but mainly the most for her mom as of late. She has given her a place to live. Her boyfriend agreed to let her stay with them, for little to no cost to her, and Sharon even took on a second job in the past year to help her mom pay some of her bills. Some would say that Sharon has basically been a mother to her own mother. It would be one thing if she was disabled or needed help or care, but that isn't the case here.
At any rate, over the holidays, Sharon had had enough. She freaked. And in my opinion, it's been WAY OVERDUE. As a result, her mom and sister are moving out of her home. Not to say they won't be back for a visit, but they aren't going to live there anymore.
The main reason I wanted to blog about this whole thing was not to expose anything negative or bad about Sharon or her family, but it was to mainly talk about how proud I am of my best friend.
I've known Sharon for 13 years and we have been best friends for most of those years (minus a few years in high school that we weren't close for a while). We've been through hell and back together, we've learned some tough life lessons, we've laughed, we've cried, we've made a million mistakes and fallen flat on our faces, but through it all, we've been there for each other.
This breakdown that she had was seriously a huge milestone for her. Sometimes, not always, Sharon won't express her feelings. She's really good at holding things in and she can keep it in as long as she has time by herself to sort of cope and self-talk and calm herself down. The fact that her family was pushing her that day and wouldn't leave her alone caused her to freak out and have the breakdown.
Some might say this sounds crazy or psychotic, but I think it's a step in the right direction of self-love and appreciation. She expressed how she felt! She told them her thoughts and feelings and the ugly truth! Even though it hurt them and she probably could have composed herself better throughout the whole thing, at least she said SOMETHING. She freed her mind.
When she called me I could hear the regret in her tone as she told me the story, but I tried to assure her that what she did and how she reacted was number one, human, she was pushed to the edge of reason, and number two, that I was proud of her for expressing her feelings. She's seemed better and stronger this week because of it. She got a burden off her shoulders and thoughts off her mind.
Is there anything better than letting something out that you've been keeping in for SO LONG??? No. There isn't. It brings emotional, physical, mental and spiritual relief.
We've all been there, we've all freaked out or lost our cool - feel free to share your own story if you wish...
If my best friend is reading my blog, she may kill me that I'm exposing her life so, for the sake of anonymity, I'm going to call her Sharon; which is quite fitting because she resembles Sharon from the soap opera that I watch (Young and the Restless on week-daily at 11:00 AM on Channel 4, tune in, it's SO awesome. But, be warned, it's horribly addicting).
Sharon called me on Monday after Christmas and told me that she got into it with her family over the holiday. She proceeded to tell me that she literally had a mental/psychotic/crazy/bitch-fest breakdown at them and I could tell she was feeling some remorse about it.
Normally this wouldn't be the biggest deal in the world, but Sharon's family (her mom and her sister) are living with Sharon, in her boyfriend's home with her and her boyfriend, for little to no cost. Her mom has been there for almost a year, maybe longer, I don't remember exactly, and her sister just stays with them when she's home for visits from college.
Please note: I love Sharon's mom and sister dearly. I've known her for years and she has always been there for me in transitions in my life, in many ways, they're like a mother and sister to me too. And the thoughts I'm expressing are merely out of the frustration and hurt I feel in my heart because of the frustration and hurt my best friend is feeling.
Sharon has done everything she can for her mom, and some for her sister too, but mainly the most for her mom as of late. She has given her a place to live. Her boyfriend agreed to let her stay with them, for little to no cost to her, and Sharon even took on a second job in the past year to help her mom pay some of her bills. Some would say that Sharon has basically been a mother to her own mother. It would be one thing if she was disabled or needed help or care, but that isn't the case here.
At any rate, over the holidays, Sharon had had enough. She freaked. And in my opinion, it's been WAY OVERDUE. As a result, her mom and sister are moving out of her home. Not to say they won't be back for a visit, but they aren't going to live there anymore.
The main reason I wanted to blog about this whole thing was not to expose anything negative or bad about Sharon or her family, but it was to mainly talk about how proud I am of my best friend.
I've known Sharon for 13 years and we have been best friends for most of those years (minus a few years in high school that we weren't close for a while). We've been through hell and back together, we've learned some tough life lessons, we've laughed, we've cried, we've made a million mistakes and fallen flat on our faces, but through it all, we've been there for each other.
This breakdown that she had was seriously a huge milestone for her. Sometimes, not always, Sharon won't express her feelings. She's really good at holding things in and she can keep it in as long as she has time by herself to sort of cope and self-talk and calm herself down. The fact that her family was pushing her that day and wouldn't leave her alone caused her to freak out and have the breakdown.
Some might say this sounds crazy or psychotic, but I think it's a step in the right direction of self-love and appreciation. She expressed how she felt! She told them her thoughts and feelings and the ugly truth! Even though it hurt them and she probably could have composed herself better throughout the whole thing, at least she said SOMETHING. She freed her mind.
When she called me I could hear the regret in her tone as she told me the story, but I tried to assure her that what she did and how she reacted was number one, human, she was pushed to the edge of reason, and number two, that I was proud of her for expressing her feelings. She's seemed better and stronger this week because of it. She got a burden off her shoulders and thoughts off her mind.
Is there anything better than letting something out that you've been keeping in for SO LONG??? No. There isn't. It brings emotional, physical, mental and spiritual relief.
We've all been there, we've all freaked out or lost our cool - feel free to share your own story if you wish...
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