We all have them - friends that we call "friends" because we've known each other forever and have managed to stay in touch through high school, college, boyfriends, 21st birthdays - you name it, they've made it through with you.
Then, there are our new friends. Those we either met in college and have stayed in touch with or those we've found through the workplace.
The question I've been struggling with lately is not necessarily who is better, but more importantly, who is more loyal?
True - the tendency is to assume the old friend because well - they're an "old" friend and have been there with you through it all. Well, no offense here but, who the heck cares? Honestly, lately I've been pretty disappointed in my relationships with my oldest friends. We aren't making time for each other, haven't called to talk to each other, or even send a text to see how each other is doing. In fact, I've flat out not returned calls and vice versa. Question is: Why is this happening?
I think there is a lot more leniency with the "old" friend. Well, we can just see each other another time, we always manage to see each other at some point! OR, I or he/she is more likely to be understanding because we've known each other for so long. There is no one willing to plan a meeting ahead of time anymore - where as, new friends tend to want to schedule - even a month in advance! Which works better for me personally since I have a husband and 2 children...
Regardless, friendships are work. Just like any other relationship. And they take two. Or three or four or however many friends are in your circle, clique, whatever.
I feel useless sometimes as a friend too because honestly, my life is boring. It's routine. I have no drama, no cool stories, nothing interesting to report - Sometimes I feel like my days are like the movie "Groundhog Day" and every now and then, it gets to switch up if I do something special with Luke or a fun activity with the kids.
I feel like newer friends are more accepting of my boring life. Sometimes I feel like old friends still expect me to be who I once was or my "old" self, which just isn't the case.
I don't know - Life, once again, you continue to show me things that sometimes I don't like, but I also know that everything happens for a reason.
I guess this saying says it all...
"One loyal friend is worth ten thousand relatives."
- Euripides, Greek playwrite
Monday, November 7, 2011
Thursday, November 3, 2011
Routine
5:31 A.M. Wake up in a cold bed. Alone.
Push snooze once, maybe twice.
5:40 A.M. Jump out of bed. Freezing.
Quiet! Don't wake the baby!
Shower.
Warmer.
Lotion.
Make-up.
Hair. Ugh. Forget the hair. Twist. Up.
Quiet! Don't wake the toddler!
Tip-toe downstairs.
Dress in the dark.
Quiet!
Turn on the lights. Wake the baby.
He stretches. I change him. Dress him. Happiness.
Upstairs.
Wake the toddler.
He stretches. Whines. I change him. Dress him. Happiness.
Everybody downstairs.
Coffee. Lunch. Jackets. Mittens. Carseat. Purse. Keys.
Into the Car.
Carseats.
Seatbelts.
Gone.
Daycare.
Jackets. Mittens. Carseat. We need diapers. Mental note.
Car.
Drive to work.
Enjoy my coffee.
Enjoy the silence.
Sometimes prayer.
Work.
Climb the stairs.
Emails. Meetings. Phone calls. Polite conversations. Thoughts. Spreadsheets.
Lunch.
Emails. Meetings Phone calls. Polite conversations. Thoughts. Spreadsheets.
4:00 P.M. Go Home.
Daycare. Jackets. Mittens. Carseat. More polite conversation. Kisses. Hugs.
Car.
Drive home.
Jackets. Mittens. Carseat. Purse. Bags.
Into the house.
Play. Play. Play.
Make dinner.
Eat dinner.
Play. Play. Play.
Bathtime. Bubbles. Laughs. Hugs. Happiness.
Play. Play. Play.
Bedtime. Bottle. Books. Songs. Kisses. Hugs. Happiness.
Silence.
T.V.? Movie?
Silence.
Relaxation.
Into Bed.
Don't forget diapers.
Repeat Daily.
Starting to wonder where you are in all this.
Miss you. Love you.
Push snooze once, maybe twice.
5:40 A.M. Jump out of bed. Freezing.
Quiet! Don't wake the baby!
Shower.
Warmer.
Lotion.
Make-up.
Hair. Ugh. Forget the hair. Twist. Up.
Quiet! Don't wake the toddler!
Tip-toe downstairs.
Dress in the dark.
Quiet!
Turn on the lights. Wake the baby.
He stretches. I change him. Dress him. Happiness.
Upstairs.
Wake the toddler.
He stretches. Whines. I change him. Dress him. Happiness.
Everybody downstairs.
Coffee. Lunch. Jackets. Mittens. Carseat. Purse. Keys.
Into the Car.
Carseats.
Seatbelts.
Gone.
Daycare.
Jackets. Mittens. Carseat. We need diapers. Mental note.
Car.
Drive to work.
Enjoy my coffee.
Enjoy the silence.
Sometimes prayer.
Work.
Climb the stairs.
Emails. Meetings. Phone calls. Polite conversations. Thoughts. Spreadsheets.
Lunch.
Emails. Meetings Phone calls. Polite conversations. Thoughts. Spreadsheets.
4:00 P.M. Go Home.
Daycare. Jackets. Mittens. Carseat. More polite conversation. Kisses. Hugs.
Car.
Drive home.
Jackets. Mittens. Carseat. Purse. Bags.
Into the house.
Play. Play. Play.
Make dinner.
Eat dinner.
Play. Play. Play.
Bathtime. Bubbles. Laughs. Hugs. Happiness.
Play. Play. Play.
Bedtime. Bottle. Books. Songs. Kisses. Hugs. Happiness.
Silence.
T.V.? Movie?
Silence.
Relaxation.
Into Bed.
Don't forget diapers.
Repeat Daily.
Starting to wonder where you are in all this.
Miss you. Love you.
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
The Other Half
Not surprising to most, but I happen to be one of the youngest employees in my office and in my industry. I had the opportunity yesterday to go out to lunch with a sales representative, one of his team mates and my own "boss". All of which are 5-15 years old than I am and have also been married 5-15 years longer than I have. Exception: I have been a mom longer than one of them, but, that still makes me "more immature" I suppose in their eyes since it's probably blatently obvious that at least one of my pregnancies was unplanned (which hey, since we're being honest here, it was).
The conversation got on the topic of marriage and being comfortable in your marriage. Comfortable enough to "not care" what your in-laws think about you. It's been a long time since I genuinely cared what others thought about me. All those cares seem to go out the window at some point in college I suppose, but in truth, I still REALLY care how my in-laws perceive me.
Why is this?
Maybe it's because deep down I know they will never think I'm not good enough for their son? I know I will probably feel that way when our sons bring home "the one" for the first time. I mean, is anyone ever going to be truly good enough for your child? I don't know. I guess I'll find out when the time comes.
Or maybe it's because they do SO MUCH for our family. They give their love, their time, their money and their everything basically into loving us and caring about us.
I like the second option better.
Honestly, I don't ever want to stop caring what my in-laws think of me. Because when I do, or when anyone does stop caring, I can bet that they definitely don't care what their spouse thinks of them anymore... Am I right to have this assumption? I guess I'm in no shape to tell someone else how to live or how to act or how to be, but I just know that I never want to be someone that stops caring about anything or anyone that I marry or marry into.
You can bet if Luke started acting disrespectful toward or disregarding manners and basic courtesy toward anyone in my family he would hear about it. Pretty sure I'm expected to show the same towards him and his family...
But - yesterday when I voiced this I was perceived as "you're just not there yet". Well, newsflash for ya'll - I hope I never get "there". Because "there" didn't look like it was was a very good destination to be.
Oh, life - how you continue to teach me and show me new things that I don't always want to know or see....
The conversation got on the topic of marriage and being comfortable in your marriage. Comfortable enough to "not care" what your in-laws think about you. It's been a long time since I genuinely cared what others thought about me. All those cares seem to go out the window at some point in college I suppose, but in truth, I still REALLY care how my in-laws perceive me.
Why is this?
Maybe it's because deep down I know they will never think I'm not good enough for their son? I know I will probably feel that way when our sons bring home "the one" for the first time. I mean, is anyone ever going to be truly good enough for your child? I don't know. I guess I'll find out when the time comes.
Or maybe it's because they do SO MUCH for our family. They give their love, their time, their money and their everything basically into loving us and caring about us.
I like the second option better.
Honestly, I don't ever want to stop caring what my in-laws think of me. Because when I do, or when anyone does stop caring, I can bet that they definitely don't care what their spouse thinks of them anymore... Am I right to have this assumption? I guess I'm in no shape to tell someone else how to live or how to act or how to be, but I just know that I never want to be someone that stops caring about anything or anyone that I marry or marry into.
You can bet if Luke started acting disrespectful toward or disregarding manners and basic courtesy toward anyone in my family he would hear about it. Pretty sure I'm expected to show the same towards him and his family...
But - yesterday when I voiced this I was perceived as "you're just not there yet". Well, newsflash for ya'll - I hope I never get "there". Because "there" didn't look like it was was a very good destination to be.
Oh, life - how you continue to teach me and show me new things that I don't always want to know or see....
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
Experience Something Before You Speak
Ok, Ok, so I haven't been blogging lately. Try having a (newly) 2-year-old and an (almost) 6-month-old by yourself most nights of the week, PLUS keeping up with laundry, houseword and oh yeah, making meals too. I know you're dying to trade places with me.
Anyway, I was compelled to blog about a recent article that I read that said "75% of married men cheat on their lives". Of that 75%, two-thirds of the wives are "completely clueless" of their husband's infidelities. This is one sad statistic.
Since I have the privilege of working with my best friend, I emailed the article to her for her input, she was equally disgusted and disappointed in the opposite sex... As our conversation about the article spread throughout the office, we had the wonderful opportunity to hear input from a fellow male co-worker.
Let me tell you, this co-worker is 29, single, living alone, attended a private high school and private college and is a RAGING tea-partyist (nothing against his political stance, just wanted to give you a little background on who we're talking to and he's the main reason I was motivated to blog).
He claimed that men and women will never understand each other. He said that he has married friends that go out to the bars and hit on/flirt with girls just to prove they've still got "it". He also informed us females in the office that men are always looking for the upgrade. They always want something more than or something better than what they currently have. And he told me, to my face, that the only reason Luke married me was because I was an "upgrade" to whatever he was currently doing or seeing. Continuing on his rant about males needing to "spread their seed", that Luke is a completely different person when I'm not around, blah, blah, blah, blah...
Dude, first of all, you're NOT MARRIED. Do not speak to me like you know all about the in's and out's of what goes into marriage, or a relationship for that matter. YOU ARE A SINGLE MALE LIVING ALONE. Also, don't proceed to tell me that you know my husband. You've met him once at a work party, do not associate him with your scummy friends because I sure as hell would have never married him if he was doing anything like that when I wasn't around and believe me, I would know if he was. We've been together for six years, living together for 3 years, married for 2 years and he's held my hand the entire way through both of the births of our sons, just like he'll be holding my hand until the day we die because we made a vow. We're on the same page. Don't put us into a box. Don't judge us. And for pete's sake, don't assume to know anything since you've NEVER experienced ANYTHING even remotely close to what we experience EVERYDAY.
Honestly, what is wrong with people? Before you can judge anything or any situation, EXPERIENCE IT. Then come talk to me, I'd be glad to share stories with you. Until then, shut. your. mouth.
Anyway, I was compelled to blog about a recent article that I read that said "75% of married men cheat on their lives". Of that 75%, two-thirds of the wives are "completely clueless" of their husband's infidelities. This is one sad statistic.
Since I have the privilege of working with my best friend, I emailed the article to her for her input, she was equally disgusted and disappointed in the opposite sex... As our conversation about the article spread throughout the office, we had the wonderful opportunity to hear input from a fellow male co-worker.
Let me tell you, this co-worker is 29, single, living alone, attended a private high school and private college and is a RAGING tea-partyist (nothing against his political stance, just wanted to give you a little background on who we're talking to and he's the main reason I was motivated to blog).
He claimed that men and women will never understand each other. He said that he has married friends that go out to the bars and hit on/flirt with girls just to prove they've still got "it". He also informed us females in the office that men are always looking for the upgrade. They always want something more than or something better than what they currently have. And he told me, to my face, that the only reason Luke married me was because I was an "upgrade" to whatever he was currently doing or seeing. Continuing on his rant about males needing to "spread their seed", that Luke is a completely different person when I'm not around, blah, blah, blah, blah...
Dude, first of all, you're NOT MARRIED. Do not speak to me like you know all about the in's and out's of what goes into marriage, or a relationship for that matter. YOU ARE A SINGLE MALE LIVING ALONE. Also, don't proceed to tell me that you know my husband. You've met him once at a work party, do not associate him with your scummy friends because I sure as hell would have never married him if he was doing anything like that when I wasn't around and believe me, I would know if he was. We've been together for six years, living together for 3 years, married for 2 years and he's held my hand the entire way through both of the births of our sons, just like he'll be holding my hand until the day we die because we made a vow. We're on the same page. Don't put us into a box. Don't judge us. And for pete's sake, don't assume to know anything since you've NEVER experienced ANYTHING even remotely close to what we experience EVERYDAY.
Honestly, what is wrong with people? Before you can judge anything or any situation, EXPERIENCE IT. Then come talk to me, I'd be glad to share stories with you. Until then, shut. your. mouth.
Friday, September 2, 2011
Heartbreak Warfare
John Mayer speaks wonders in this song...
Lightning strikes
Inside, my chest to keep me up at night
Dream of ways
To make you understand my pain
Clouds of sulfur in the air
Bombs are falling everywhere
It's heartbreak warfare
Once you want it to begin,
No one really ever wins
In heartbreak warfare
If you want more love,
why don't you say so?
If you want more love,
why don't you say so?
Drop his name
Push it in and twist the knife again
Watch my face
As I pretend to feel no pain
Clouds of sulfur in the air
Bombs are falling everywhere
It's heartbreak warfare
Once you want it to begin,
No one really ever wins
In heartbreak warfare.
If you want more love,
why don't you say so?
If you want more love,
why don't you say so?
Just say so...
How come the only way to know how high you get me
is to see how far I fall
God only knows how much I'd love you if you let me
but I can't break through at all.
It's a heartbreak...
I don't care if we don't sleep at all tonight
Let's just fix this whole thing now
I swear to God we're gonna get it right
If you lay your weapon down
Red wine and ambien
You're talking shit again, it's heartbreak warfare
Good to know it's all a game
Disappointment has a name, it's heartbreak, heartbreak.
It's heartbreak warfare.
It's heartbreak warfare.
It's heartbreak warfare.
Inside, my chest to keep me up at night
Dream of ways
To make you understand my pain
Clouds of sulfur in the air
Bombs are falling everywhere
It's heartbreak warfare
Once you want it to begin,
No one really ever wins
In heartbreak warfare
If you want more love,
why don't you say so?
If you want more love,
why don't you say so?
Drop his name
Push it in and twist the knife again
Watch my face
As I pretend to feel no pain
Clouds of sulfur in the air
Bombs are falling everywhere
It's heartbreak warfare
Once you want it to begin,
No one really ever wins
In heartbreak warfare.
If you want more love,
why don't you say so?
If you want more love,
why don't you say so?
Just say so...
How come the only way to know how high you get me
is to see how far I fall
God only knows how much I'd love you if you let me
but I can't break through at all.
It's a heartbreak...
I don't care if we don't sleep at all tonight
Let's just fix this whole thing now
I swear to God we're gonna get it right
If you lay your weapon down
Red wine and ambien
You're talking shit again, it's heartbreak warfare
Good to know it's all a game
Disappointment has a name, it's heartbreak, heartbreak.
It's heartbreak warfare.
It's heartbreak warfare.
It's heartbreak warfare.
Monday, August 29, 2011
Stay At Home Dad?... We Just Got One!
The Blodgett's are now the pround owners of a "stay at home dad". Not only will he be taking care of our little ones while I go to work, but I also see laundry and bathroom cleaning in his future (let's just keep this between us).
You may be asking yourself, "How did this happen?" Or, "Why aren't YOU staying home?" All good questions. Since this is MY blog and I can do what I want with it, I think I will tell you the non-Reader's Digest answers.
My husband (for the record, I dislike referring to him as that in conversation, I'd rather just call him by his name LUKE and so I will from this point on), was a teaching assistant at Harrison Education Center in Minneapolis Public School system for the past 2 years. He works with Emotional Behavioral Disorder (EBD) teenagers (tough gig). He took the job on a whim shortly before Colton was born because he wanted a position that he could enjoy and be closer to "home". Surprisingly, Luke loved working in education. He even thought about going back to school to get his license to teach with a focus on special education for EBD students. But, this year brought around some changes for Luke as he started to really think about what it is he wants to do for the rest of his life. A job shouldn't be just a job, you should love your job. Especially since you're going to spend over half of your life working it! So, we started having discussions...
Maybe I should leave the EBD field and try something else?
Maybe I should become a teacher?
Maybe I should finish my current degree?
Maybe I should get a business job?
One day driving home from Wisconsin, he decided to share a new idea with me - "What if I take over my dad's business?"
And so, we made the decision. We're working toward buying Luke's dad out of his company. We moved out of our own home and have moved in with my parents to save more money. Since this type of work is seasonal, we also decided that once Luke's season is up - He is going to stay home and take care of the kids, rather than try to find a second job. With gas prices going up and up and daycare breaking our bank account, this solution seems right.
Definitely more blogs to come about this new development! Can't wait to see Luke as Mr. Mom...
You may be asking yourself, "How did this happen?" Or, "Why aren't YOU staying home?" All good questions. Since this is MY blog and I can do what I want with it, I think I will tell you the non-Reader's Digest answers.
My husband (for the record, I dislike referring to him as that in conversation, I'd rather just call him by his name LUKE and so I will from this point on), was a teaching assistant at Harrison Education Center in Minneapolis Public School system for the past 2 years. He works with Emotional Behavioral Disorder (EBD) teenagers (tough gig). He took the job on a whim shortly before Colton was born because he wanted a position that he could enjoy and be closer to "home". Surprisingly, Luke loved working in education. He even thought about going back to school to get his license to teach with a focus on special education for EBD students. But, this year brought around some changes for Luke as he started to really think about what it is he wants to do for the rest of his life. A job shouldn't be just a job, you should love your job. Especially since you're going to spend over half of your life working it! So, we started having discussions...
Maybe I should leave the EBD field and try something else?
Maybe I should become a teacher?
Maybe I should finish my current degree?
Maybe I should get a business job?
One day driving home from Wisconsin, he decided to share a new idea with me - "What if I take over my dad's business?"
And so, we made the decision. We're working toward buying Luke's dad out of his company. We moved out of our own home and have moved in with my parents to save more money. Since this type of work is seasonal, we also decided that once Luke's season is up - He is going to stay home and take care of the kids, rather than try to find a second job. With gas prices going up and up and daycare breaking our bank account, this solution seems right.
Definitely more blogs to come about this new development! Can't wait to see Luke as Mr. Mom...
Thursday, August 25, 2011
Humble Yourself!
One of the hardest things to do in this life is to always remember that you are no better than the person standing to your right or your left: We are all human, make mistakes, hurt each other and disappoint one another. Personally, this is something I struggle with very hard and tend to beat myself up over because I sincerely try each and every day to be a better person not only for myself, but to be the best I can for my husband and a good example to my children.
Humble Yourself!... Something that is much easier said than done.
Example: There was a woman outside my building this morning wearing "older" clothes, with minimal make-up on and she was smoking a cigarette while her child was playing next to her. I couldn't help it. I judged her. I thought negatively toward her for smoking in front of her child. I thought her outfit was old and out of style. I thought she was dressed in appropriately for being at a "professional" office building. I got all of this out of only seeing her for less than 30 seconds.
The truth is, I don't know this woman. I don't know her circumstances. Maybe she was smoking her 1 cigarette she saves for stressful situations only. Maybe she was stressed because her ex-significant other was supposed to be picking up their child so she could get to work. Maybe she was taking care of this child as a favor to a friend or family member.
Bottom line: I judged without knowing anything except for what was on the outside...
So, if I can get anything out of this, STOP YOURSELF, put yourself in someone else's shoes and say a prayer for them (and for yourself) - Help make the world a better place. Become a better person. Take the higher road. Not necessarily the easiest way, but hey, who said this life was easy? If it were easy to do it right, everyone would do it...
Humble Yourself!... Something that is much easier said than done.
Example: There was a woman outside my building this morning wearing "older" clothes, with minimal make-up on and she was smoking a cigarette while her child was playing next to her. I couldn't help it. I judged her. I thought negatively toward her for smoking in front of her child. I thought her outfit was old and out of style. I thought she was dressed in appropriately for being at a "professional" office building. I got all of this out of only seeing her for less than 30 seconds.
The truth is, I don't know this woman. I don't know her circumstances. Maybe she was smoking her 1 cigarette she saves for stressful situations only. Maybe she was stressed because her ex-significant other was supposed to be picking up their child so she could get to work. Maybe she was taking care of this child as a favor to a friend or family member.
Bottom line: I judged without knowing anything except for what was on the outside...
So, if I can get anything out of this, STOP YOURSELF, put yourself in someone else's shoes and say a prayer for them (and for yourself) - Help make the world a better place. Become a better person. Take the higher road. Not necessarily the easiest way, but hey, who said this life was easy? If it were easy to do it right, everyone would do it...
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