Trouble in Paradise

For those that don't know, my husband has a seasonal job. He's working to transition as full-owner of his dad's company - truthfully, the full ownership is probably 5-10 years off, but he is going to work towards becoming a partial owner this year. MB&Boys, Inc. is the name of (soon-to-be) their company, specializing in concrete flatwork needs (sidewalks, driveways, foundations, anything that is flat and concrete). When he is "on season", he works long days - dusk until dawn - and sometimes on the weekends too. However, when work comes to a hault for the season, obviously his life completely takes a 180 - he ain't doin' nothin'.

Prior to him deciding to do this, we agreed that he would stay home with our kids (2-year-old and 9-month-old) since daycare runs us roughly $1,300 per month for both. Simple math, it's more affordable for us to have Luke stay home with them if he isn't working. Plus, it's hard enough right now to find ANY job, try finding an off-season job that is also "seasonal" during the winter months - it's about impossible - unless he wanted to wrap Christmas presents at Macy's ((chuckling)). Highly doubtful.

At first he was excited to stay home with the boys. He'd say, "How hard could it be?" or, "You don't think I can do this? Of course I can." - At first I was nervous for him because I know how long the days can be when I have both boys alone, without help and without another adult to talk to. The first few weeks of him staying home with the boys weren't so bad because we were still living with my folks. They were home to help him and my mom even took care of them for Luke a few days out of the week so he could go do stuff - like ice fish with my dad, run errends, work out, you name it. However, the situation has drastically changed now that we have our own home in Hudson - 65 miles away from my parents and 25 miles away from his parents - 5 days a week, 9 hours from when I leave home until I come back after work.

To say the least, this situation is starting to take a toll on him. I've suggested getting the kids out to a pool at the YMCA in town, taking them to book reading time at the library (scheduled 3-4 times per week between Hudson and River Falls - 5 miles away - libraries), getting involved in a "daddy and me" class, taking the kids to visit his mom at work or his dad out at the shop, coming to visit me at work and going out for lunch and his usual reply is to (1) tune out to any of my suggestions or (2) complain that it's too much work. And I get frustrated with these responses because (1) no female likes to get ignored, especially when she's only trying to be helpful and (2) really? too much work? So, you're going to deprive our children of socialization because you don't want to do the extra work of packing a diaper bag?

Needless to say I'm really frustrated with him right now. We need to have a discussion and find a different solution because let me tell you, I have patience and tolerance for a crabby toddler or baby, but I have ZERO patience for a crabby spouse - especially when (sorry to say it so frankly), it isn't my fault that he's unhappy with his situation. We talked, agreed and decided on this situation and I tried to warn him that it wasn't going to be easy. I'm not trying to be like, "I TOLD YOU SO!" - But, seriously, I did tell him so...

You guys, something has to change. It's been almost 2 weeks of him being alone with our kids all week and it's really, really taking a toll. Not  to mention, winter is LONG here in Minnesota/Wisconsin - we have a lot of weeks left before he goes back to work.

Case in point - 3 weeks ago I told him I had plans this Saturday with my friends - which, might I add, I rarely make time for my friends because weekends are my quality time with my kids - but, last time I had plans, I cancelled because I wasn't feeling the greatest. I haven't had a whole day with friends since last June! Seriously, it's time - And, hubby agreed that he would take the kids to his parents. Well, since these new events and feelings and frustrations have developed with him choosing to be cooped up all day staying home with our children, he wants to go ice fishing up north on Saturday... Saturday, the day I was supposed to have time with my friends, remember?

I'm totally compromised. I work all week, come home and hubby checks out mentally, make dinner, clean, bathe kids, read to the kids, put them to bed, then - get up at 4:45 AM to go to the gym before everyone wakes up - repeat.

I need time with my friends too, right?

Now, we're scrambling to try and find a solution for taking care of our children on Saturday and I may end up cancelling my plans so he can go fish.

I know that men weren't meant to be taking care of babies and toddlers - he loves our children dearly, and is wonderful to them - but, it comes more naturally to me. When they're older, this may be a different story because he could just take them with him fishing or hunting or eventually, out drinking or something, but until then, it's going to be tough.

Normally I'm good about compromising and letting hubby do whatever he pleases, but I'm putting my foot down this weekend. I need this time with my friends.

Sometimes marriage is really hard. Sometimes having children is really hard. But, we've done really well so far, this is the first sort of "blip" in the road. Maybe we need to put the kids in daycare a couple days a week so Luke doesn't feel so isolated?

Help? Suggestions?

Coming Home

Until this past weekend, my family and I were living with my mom and dad. We moved in with them from our townhome in July because my husband made the decision to start taking over his dad's company. Since his dad's company does concrete flatwork (one call and you get all your flatwork needs!) - we weren't sure what kind of year he would have AND since he was going to start taking things over he was putting in long hours - I'm talking working dusk until dawn most days of the week, sometimes Saturdays too, and most days he didn't come home at all, he would sleep at work.

And so, we moved in with my mom and dad because we had an almost 2 year old and a newborn baby at the time and we knew I'd need some serious help after working 9 hours a day with the kids while he was gone during the week. We also weren't sure financially what it would mean for our family and to be safe, decided moving in with them was the right choice.

After a very successful summer for my husband and a promotion at my job, financially we were ready to move on, but were feeling apprehensive and nervous about taking the plunge of moving during the winter months. Regardless of our feelings, we started looking at properties and the first two we saw were so disappointing I seriously lost hope right then and there. At this point I was so frustrated with not having our own place for our kids and our family, I was sick to death of living with my mom and dad (love them dearly, but seriously, it was SO HARD moving back home) and I just wanted a place to call our own. Luke, as usual, was my voice of reason and assured me that we needed to be patient and not push too fast or too soon - no sense in settling for something that wasn't what we have in mind for our family. And so, over a Pizza Hut dinner, we decided to just let be what would be and trust that God will move us when we're meant to move.

Later that night we were on Craig's List just browsing through properties and we saw a few more that caught our attention. Some were out of our price range, but one was exactly what we were looking for AND in our price range and in our location we had in mind. I called the realtor and made the appointment to see the property the day before Christmas Eve.

When we showed up to the property for our first walk-through, the realtor was 15 minutes late. I meet with people all the time and understand that sometimes people are late, but had a feeling something was up. So, we called her and she apologized for forgetting about us, but said she was crazy busy and would be there in 10 minutes. Again, we were feeling really discouraged thinking we'd rushed the situation too much... But, when she got there and we walked in - we immediately knew we were home.

This place was so awesome! Any other location closer to the cities and it probably would have been ridiculously expensive, but since we're now in Hudson, WI, the price was perfect for us. Not to mention, it's been our DREAM to get married, have babies and move to Hudson! Aww, cute, we obtained our little American Dream.

And so, The Blodgett's are now home. Hudson, WI is it for us and I certainly hope it is for years to come.

Lessons I learned from this situation:

1. Be patient. Seriously, what is meant to be WILL BE. It's that simple.
2. TRUST YOUR PARTNER. I was being so pushy with the situation because of my own frustrations of our situation being at home, but Luke was right. Even though I was fed up, I had to learn to just trust that things would work out when they're meant to work out.
3. Wrap your Christmas Decorations with care. Unfortunately, I lost one of my Christmas decorations during the move. Bummer.
4. MOVING SUCKS. Nuf' said.

More blogs in the future to come since Luke has been staying at home with our boys during the winter months (seasonal work) - I'm hoping to get some feedback from him regarding his situation of "being at home" and hopefully devote a portion of my blogs toward that topic - should make for some interesting posts and input.

Let me know your thoughts on the idea...

Don't Sweat The Small Stuff

I'm guilty. You're guilty. We're all guilty. What are we guilty of?

Not Being Thankful For...

1. The ability to get out of bed every morning and go to work.
2. Having a roof over our heads.
3. Having a bed to sleep in.
4. Having clothes to wear.
5. The ability to access professional health care at the drop of a hat.
6. Having a cell phone, computer, iPod and iPad, not just one, but all of them. Yep, we're spoiled technology brats.
7. Getting a paycheck.
8. Living free and able to make our own decisions and do whatever the heck we want to do!
9. The ability to type and express my thoughts an opinions on this blog.
10. Having access to fresh food and the ability to buy it too.

I know, I know, it's Friday and I'm starting this blog off being all depressing, but the main point I want to discuss today is that we've all got to start being more thankful for the things we have instead of the things we don't have. We all need to start seeing the bigger picture instead of having tunnel vision in our lives. Life is too short and life is too precious to not seriously be thankful for everything we have available to us. Believe it or not, I'm in a fantastic mood right now, but these things need to be said.

If your biggest problem in your life right now is that you're fighting with your boyfriend and you're not sure if ya'll are going to get married or not and blah, blah, blah - BE GRATEFUL. Somewhere out there is young woman having an arranged marriage with a man she can't stand and she doesn't have a choice about it.

If your biggest problem in your life right now is that you're swimming in debt from student loans - BE GRATEFUL. You got the opportunity to go to college. You got the opportunity to have an education. You got the opportunity to make something of yourself. You got the opportunity to learn about "Thirsty Thursday" and attend a couple too... Keep working hard, they won't be loans forever and slowly but surely the money will get paid off. And you'll never regret having an education!

If your biggest problem in your life right now is that you're not happy with your weight - BE GRATEFUL. You have the opportunity to change. You can choose to make yourself better. You can put on some running shorts and be best friends with the pavement from here on out. I don't know of any other country in the world where there are health clubs or people randomly running down the street just for the sake of physical fitness. Embrace this American custom. Put. The. Cookie. Down. I always tell my dad, because he's CONSTANTLY complaining about his weight, he has the power to change, but he has to decide when that change happens, I can't do it for him. I really wish I could... (another blog. another time.)

If your biggest problem in your life right now is that you're fighting with your best friend - BE GRATEFUL. There are millions of people around this world who don't have a best friend or have lost their best friend.

I could go on and on and on and on about the things I hear people griping about on a day to day basis, INCLUDING MYSELF! Sometimes it's obvious to me what someone is complaining about isn't that big of a deal, but other times - it gets hard because we all get tunnel vision. We all get sucked into our friend's problems, which, if you're living in America, chances are that their problems are petty compared to others around the world.

Think about the family and friends of Jack Jablonski (#13). Or Gabriel Giffords and her friends and family.

In the case of Jack, this family has their son/brother/nephew/cousin/grandson playing hockey like a normal 16 year old kid and WHAM! In a second, his life changes because he got checked from behind and doctors now say he may never use his hands or have the ability to walk again.

Gabriel Giffords husband got a call that his wife had DIED, then all of a sudden he finds out she is ALIVE (seriously, I don't know how I would handle all that emotional high/low if this happened to Luke). Her journey she's made is absolutely INCREDIBLE!!!! Please Google information about it if you haven't followed it and watch their interview on 60 Minutes. Get tissue prior.

Takeaway before the weekend - be thankful for who you are. Love yourself. There is no one in this world like you. But, that being said, take care of yourself and be grateful for everyone around you and conscious of the lives you touch. Life can change so fast...

And like the title says, don't sweat the small stuff!

"Don't worry about a thing, cuz' every little thing, is gon' be alright..." - Bob Marley

Tribute to the Hubby, Lucas

Allow me to introduce to you my friends, my husband and best friend, Lucas. He goes by "Luke" most of the time, or "The Duke", "Guns", "Big B", "Daddy" (to our sons) or my personal favorite, "Junior" (his dad calls him this and I don't know why, but it's adorable).

I chose this photo because this, in a nutshell, is my husband. Yes, he's a jock (obsessed with college footbal), loves summertime on the lake, loves to enjoy adult beverages from time-to-time, is a great dancer, is super low-maintenance and last but not least, is so-o naturally handsome - I mean, hello? This man is so gorg. But you know what, he honestly doesn't know it and is as modest as they come.

One of the biggest attributes about Luke that I've always admired and quite frankly, been jealous of, is the fact that no matter where he is or who he is around, this is who he is. He doesn't change. He doesn't feel ashamed. He is who he is and if someone doesn't like it, he doesn't fret about it or care.

Truthfully, Luke and I couldn't be more opposite. Luke is totally low maintenance, a good-ol' country boy easy going and a man's man. I am (somewhat) high maintenance, I've definitely gotten better, a suburb girl, can be uptight sometimes and a ladies' lady.

How did we ever come to love each other so much and get married? Because Luke taught and showed me that life is beautiful, fun, but it's tough too, and that's where he comes in - to help me get through it and hold my hand. He also taught me to LET GO, get the stick out of my butt and have some fun with life. He's the first guy that I ever fully opened myself up to and I told him everything. And let me tell you, he fought hard for that because I was holding those walls up around my heart for a long time.

I love him so much and "love" doesn't even feel like it's enough to say. How do you show and tell someone, hey, you've changed my life in ways that I never imagined? I'm a better person because you came into my life? You make me constantly want to be better and do better? You've given me moments in my life that I never thought could happen?

I know marriage isn't for everybody, but I am pro-marriage and definitely will be blogging more about it in the future, I'm sure.

Anyway, enough about the hubby and marriage - I know it's not a topic for everyone, but thanks for listening!

Work Email Etiquette Rant

Mmmmmk, first day back after Christmas/Holiday vacations and I'm sorry, but I'm going on an email rant.

If email is not a part of your everyday work routine, I'm not sure how well you can relate to this post, but maybe you can pick up on these frustrations. I work in the financial planning/consultative sales world and I spend all day with my inbox open and I have email sent to my phone because when you work in this industry and people need answers after hours, you have to be able to give it to them. Sucks, but I guess that's just part of the gig and truthfully, it doesn't really bother me...

For those of you that do work in the email world, here's a list of rantings that you may be able to relate to:

1. For pete sake, start your email with a friggin' greeting. I have a name and it would be nice if you would say "Hi Nicole" or "Good morning Nicole" or even a simple hello! instead of just ranting on about what you need from me and you need it ASAP...
2. Which brings me to my second point - This is an email, an electronic business exchange that I will be recording in my system - idk about u but u should maybe actually spell out the words u r trying 2 say 2 me so u sound a bit more intelligent.
3. Use a font that I can actually read and furthermore, use a color that's more professional. Cursive fonts, CURLZ font, pink, light purple color fonts that scream princesses and butterflies or magical fairy land is not appropriate for the professional world. Personal email, do whatever you like, but seriously? There's a butterfly next to your signature and we work in the financial services industry. There is no relation whatsoever.
4. English lesson number 1 - There (location), Their (possessive), They're (They Are - Conjuction). Period. Enough said.
5. use a little punctuation in your email not everything needs to be in lower case letters and in a run on sentence that has no end because its really daunting to read and you seriously sound and look like you are not professional and have no idea what youre doing and i dont know or understand why a client would trust you with their financial well being if you cant even put a . at the end of a sentence
6. English lesson number 2 - it's stands for IT IS. NOTHING ELSE. #iamagrammarnazi.
7. If you're my co-worker and you're in my office and sending me a novel of an email, for goodness sake get your butt off your chair and come talk to me about it. If I have to scroll to read this email from you, I'm going to get mad and may not even read it at all.
8. I know getting emails sent to your phone is convenient, but PLEASE don't treat it like a text message. I think the point of having emails sent to your phone is to make your work seamless and so you can travel and others don't necessarily know you're out of the office. It seriously drives me bonkers when I get an email that says "K. Sent from myiPhone".
9. If you're going to be out of the office for more than 1 day, put your away message on with information on who to contact in your absence. When you come back, see my 10 emails and apologize for being out of the office for 2 weeks, this is just not good business etiquette and quite frankly, is UBER FRUSTRATING.
10. DON'T TYPE EVERYTHING IN CAPITAL LETTERS. EVEN IF YOU'RE NOT, IT MAKES YOU SEEM ANGRY AND MAD ABOUT SOMETHING!!!!!!!!!

That's enough for now. Looking forward to hearing your frustrations regarding email or any work etiquette for that matter....

American Optimists in 2012

I'm not sure exactly why it is, but if you ask people about their hopes and their feelings regarding 2012 they are ridiculously and abnormally optimistic. Not that this is a bad thing, in fact, for an optimist and happy-go-lucky, irritatingly positive person like me it's really wonderful to hear! BUT - I have to wonder, why do you think we are all feeilng this postive energy about 2012?

Is it because supposedly the world is going to end on December 21st and we all want to make the best of our last 12 months alive? Seriously Doubtful. Sorry, for those of you that buy into this type of bullshit, you may need to stop reading now. I'm a Christian and for those of you that read and believe the bible, when Jesus comes he will come like a thief in the night. It's not going to be a broadcasted and there won't be any forewarning or exact dates and times. For those of you that have really never read the Bible, dust off the old book and start reading. I can guarantee you if you read it diligently for 1 year, it will change your life. And hey, what better time to start than January 1st, 2012?

Maybe it's because we can't possibly allow ourselves to believe that 2012 will be as heartbreaking and difficult as 2011? Ask others around you. Talk with people and I guarantee they will have something life-changing to share about 2011 that wasn't necessarily a good thing. This year I cried more on my way to work listening to the radio regarding events in our city, our state, our country and around the world more than any other year. I also had a lot of personal emotional events this year with the loss of so many people in our family, including both of our Grandmothers (this was in another blog, I won't carry on). Remember the tornados in Joplin? Or the tornados in Alabama that claimed so many lives and people's homes? How quickly the media moves on from these situations after something else newsworthy comes up. They just recently re-opened schools for students and hundreds of people are still without homes. If you're sitting on  your butt with no plans for 2012, may consider volunterring or donating some time or money to a local charity. I know that's one of my personal goals for 2012.

Maybe it's because we already know there are good things to come in 2012; like a new job, a pay raise, a new home or celebrating the gift of a new life in your family? I don't know what type of person you are, but when good things happen to you, don't be afraid to share them with others or hold back on your success. Recently, one of our good friends was offered an enormous promotion at his job. His boss came to him and announced that he wanted him to head up the new office they were building and they would pay for him to live and move to that location to any place of his choice. SO COOL RIGHT??? Well, when our friend shared this news with us, he was so modest and quiet, he didn't even realize what an enormously great opportunity he was given. He was afraid to share his success because so many of his other friends are unemployed or can't find a job. One thing about me and Luke is that we are always so praising of others success - I can't stand it when people get jealous of others that are successful - And so, if something amazing is on the horizon for you in 2012. Good for you! Celebrate and embrace the blessing(s) you've been given!

Personally, I think 2012 is going to be great. Our family is moving to a new home in Hudson, Wisconsin. I have great feelings about things upcoming at my job, Luke is officially becoming an owner of MB&Boys, Inc., the family business and Jacob, our youngest, turns 1 year old on Easter Sunday, which I think is just the coolest thing!

All the best to you all who are reading this. I look forward to reading about events happening in your lives and I certainly hope you will like hearing about things happening in mine - good, bad or ugly- I'm sure we'll share them all.

Sending peace, love, happiness and healthy thoughts your way....

Free Yo' Mind, And the Rest Will Follow

This week has been a bit dramatic, but also life-changing for my best friend. She may not view it that way, but I've known her for years and I can honestly say that she has come leaps and bounds in the area of self-esteem and self-worth, and this week was just another step in the right direction.

If my best friend is reading my blog, she may kill me that I'm exposing her life so, for the sake of anonymity, I'm going to call her Sharon; which is quite fitting because she resembles Sharon from the soap opera that I watch (Young and the Restless on week-daily at 11:00 AM on Channel 4, tune in, it's SO awesome. But, be warned, it's horribly addicting).

Sharon called me on Monday after Christmas and told me that she got into it with her family over the holiday. She proceeded to tell me that she literally had a mental/psychotic/crazy/bitch-fest breakdown at them and I could tell she was feeling some remorse about it.

Normally this wouldn't be the biggest deal in the world, but Sharon's family (her mom and her sister) are living with Sharon, in her boyfriend's home with her and her boyfriend, for little to no cost. Her mom has been there for almost a year, maybe longer, I don't remember exactly, and her sister just stays with them when she's home for visits from college.

Please note: I love Sharon's mom and sister dearly. I've known her for years and she has always been there for me in transitions in my life, in many ways, they're like a mother and sister to me too. And the thoughts I'm expressing are merely out of the frustration and hurt I feel in my heart because of the frustration and hurt my best friend is feeling.

Sharon has done everything she can for her mom, and some for her sister too, but mainly the most for her mom as of late. She has given her a place to live. Her boyfriend agreed to let her stay with them, for little to no cost to her, and Sharon even took on a second job in the past year to help her mom pay some of her bills. Some would say that Sharon has basically been a mother to her own mother. It would be one thing if she was disabled or needed help or care, but that isn't the case here.

At any rate, over the holidays, Sharon had had enough. She freaked. And in my opinion, it's been WAY OVERDUE. As a result, her mom and sister are moving out of her home. Not to say they won't be back for a visit, but they aren't going to live there anymore.

The main reason I wanted to blog about this whole thing was not to expose anything negative or bad about Sharon or her family, but it was to mainly talk about how proud I am of my best friend.

I've known Sharon for 13 years and we have been best friends for most of those years (minus a few years in high school that we weren't close for a while). We've been through hell and back together, we've learned some tough life lessons, we've laughed, we've cried, we've made a million mistakes and fallen flat on our faces, but through it all, we've been there for each other.

This breakdown that she had was seriously a huge milestone for her. Sometimes, not always, Sharon won't express her feelings. She's really good at holding things in and she can keep it in as long as she has time by herself to sort of cope and self-talk and calm herself down. The fact that her family was pushing her that day and wouldn't leave her alone caused her to freak out and have the breakdown.

Some might say this sounds crazy or psychotic, but I think it's a step in the right direction of self-love and appreciation. She expressed how she felt! She told them her thoughts and feelings and the ugly truth! Even though it hurt them and she probably could have composed herself better throughout the whole thing, at least she said SOMETHING. She freed her mind.

When she called me I could hear the regret in her tone as she told me the story, but I tried to assure her that what she did and how she reacted was number one, human, she was pushed to the edge of reason, and number two, that I was proud of her for expressing her feelings. She's seemed better and stronger this week because of it. She got a burden off her shoulders and thoughts off her mind.

Is there anything better than letting something out that you've been keeping in for SO LONG??? No. There isn't. It brings emotional, physical, mental and spiritual relief.

We've all been there, we've all freaked out or lost our cool - feel free to share your own story if you wish...