Wedded Bliss!

This past weekend I had the opportunity to be involved in one of my closest friend's weddings. I was chosen to be her personal attendant. I was of course happy to help any way I could! I love my friend dearly and wanted to make sure her day would run smoothly. However, I was in no way prepared to be a personal attendant. I definitely should have done some research before I signed on for this job! We were laughing about it, but I honestly felt so much stress about the whole thing because I was unprepared! At one point someone even mistook me for the wedding planner. My husband was in absolute hysterics as he was standing right next to me when someone questioned a "blip" in the program. There were lots of laughs throughout the day and I didn't have a chance to talk with the bride after everything, but I think she was pleased with her special day!

All in all, I'd say the wedding was a success. My friend looked absolutely stunning, the epitome of what a bride should be and I know she and her new husband are going to live a long, happy life together.

I do want to take a moment to share with you all a few new rules I have learned about being involved in a wedding. I firmly believe there is etiquette you absolutely must follow. Please note I'm by no means a wedding planning professional and there are a lot more rules of etiquette I'm sure to be found online...

These are my points:

1. If you are a member of the bridal party (guy or girl) in any way, shape or form, try on what you are wearing before the actual day of the wedding. There is no time on the day of to take anything in, out or off whatever it may be that you are assigned to wear.
2. Don't forget this day is all about the bride and groom. That's it. No one else. If the bride or groom ask you to do something, do it. Simple as that.
3. Get good rest! A wedding is not just a ceremony and a reception. There are videos and photos being taken all day long and trust me, you are going to want to look fantastic in these pictures that are going to be shared for lifetimes to come.
4. If you absolutely must slip away for a moment during this big day for a drink, some food, a cigarette, a phone call, whatever it may be - do it at a time that is appropriate and when you've been made sure the bride or groom do not need you - especially prior to the ceremony. Once the reception comes around, there is wiggle room for this point.
5. If you are a personal attendant, come prepared for absolutely everything you can possibly think of - case in point, I didn't have a scissors and when I didn't have a scissors I got a lot of looks like, "Why the heck don't you have a scissors? DUH! You should totally have a scissors!" - Pack an "emergency" kit of sorts and possibly review scenarios with the bride before hand so you can be prepared together!

I'm so happy I got to be there for my friend and take part in every aspect of her wedding day. It was such a treat and I seriously learned A LOT about weddings! As a result of my stress of being unprepared in some ways for my assigned duties, I definitely drank way too much at the reception, however, after asking others, weddings seem to be a prime occasion for that to happen.

Happy wishes to my friend and her new hubby - I'm happy to say that there is another couple in my circle of friends that are now "married". xxoo

Inspiration.

Hi, My Name Is (Insert Name Here), and I'm Addicted To Facebook.

I deactivated my Facebook account over the weekend. I debated about announcing the fact that I deactivated the account, mainly because I don't want to draw attention to it, but I think it is important to talk about why I deactivated it in the first place.

Facebook Logo.

Over the past month or so I can honestly say Facebook has been consuming too much of my time. I recently added my own company onto Facebook and as a result, I would spend more time than I intended to surfing around others pictures, status updates, wall posts and needless to say, it was becoming a huge distraction for me! Both at work and at home. Then it dawned on me, Facebook has always been a distraction. Not to mention, it began to creep me out how many of my "friends" weren't actually "friends" -ifyaknowwhatimean.

Facebook was also inadvertently making me feel things such as...

• Jealous.
• Inferior.
• Judgmental.
• Accusing.
• Superior.

It is IMPOSSIBLE to not judge people when you're on Facebook. Whether you're pitying someone for even daring to post about how hungover they are on a Tuesday or you're totally jealous of your friend from high school that just received an engagement ring the size of Texas (seriously? Why her? She's not even that pretty. OMG.)... And the whole cycle continues in a sick, sick way - a never-ending stream of gossip and smack talk.

Enough already.

All those characteristics described above are all characteristics I would never use to describe myself, but I instantly take on all of them just by signing onto Facebook and surfing my newsfeed.

I've handed the admin status of my company's Facebook over to our summer intern for the time being and I'm sure I'll be forced to reactivate the account at some point to access my company page after he is gone, but until then, check you later, Facebook. I'm done letting you consume my life and my character.

Financial Fluff.

Finances Can Be Confusing.

As promised, I'm writing again this week about a much lighter topic than my quarter-life crisis. A big thank you to the comments I received, by the way. My readers (and friends) are so thoughtful, understanding and supportive.


Anywho - onto the financial fluff. How's everyone doing with some of the financial suggestions I've tossed out? I was sad concerned I received no emails about the financial planning first steps post I put together back in March and to boot, I didn't receive hardly any reaction about the disability planning. I can't possibly put into words how passionately I feel about having a solid financial plan - I don't care who you are, wherever you are - what the hell heck is your financial plan? What are your financial goals for the future? Where do you want to be financially in 6 months? 1 year? 2 years? 5 years? 10 years?


If you don't have answers to all these questions, it's something you should look into finding answers for, but it's OK - that's why I'm here. If nothing else, my goal is to motivate you to take action, take control and take responsibility for your financial situation.


Couple of facts:

1. 44% of American Families spend more than they earn. If this number isn't alarming to you, please read this statistic again. This stat seriously makes me hurt because I know, for a fact, that a good portion of this percentage is because of point number two...
2. Despite this fact, Americans continue to live outside their means. Enough with all this "keep up with the Jones'" mentality. In fact, enough with all the over access crap. Example from my own financial situation: My husband and I recently decided to cancel our cable and get basic television. Why? Because "cable" was costing us over $100 per month and we were constantly complaining there was nothing on T.V. Not to mention our sons are obsessed with the movies Hop and Cars and we normally are forced to watch too... Now we pay $10 a month for basic T.V. Presto! An extra $90+ per month into our savings.

A few suggestions (please follow these steps):

1. Write down, right now, on paper, how much money you TAKE HOME in a month. The "take home" part is important - Unfortunately, you pay Uncle Sam first...
2. Create categories according to what you spend your money on (rent/mortgage, food, gas, utility bills, cable/internet, cell phone, daycare/school costs, insurances, student loans, credit cards, etc.) DO NOT CHEAT YOURSELF. Be honest about your "spending categories".
3. Write down the dollar amount you spent in each of these categories in the past month - You can do this by going to http://www.mint.com and it will do it for you - However, you can also easily do it yourself by looking at your bank statement.
4. Add up all your spending dollars and subtract it from the number you wrote down in number 1.
5. HOW DID YOU DO? Did you spend more than you earn? Spend less than you earn? Break even to what you earn?

Next steps:

If you spend more than you earn... Do the same exercise (steps 1-5) for two months prior to see if this is a trend. Sometimes things happen - you had car trouble, a medical expense came up or you threw a party and spent more on food than normal - What's important is to recognize if you have a pattern of spending more than you earn. If the pattern if more spending is clear, make two columns on a piece of paper: One column should be a list of things you "can financially control" and the other should be things that you "cannot financially control". (Example: Price of Gas is something you cannot financially control, but you can control how much you're driving around). From those columns, you have to decide where you can cut back on spending. Pretty simple, but it's a lot easier said than done.

It doesn't stop there, challenge yourself to stick to these guidelines! Do this exercise again in a couple of months and see how you're staying on track. If you're continually getting off track, I would consider sitting down with a financial professional.

Another bit of advice, take a look at how many allowances/dependents you claim on your paycheck. Did you know you can take home more money if you claim more allowances? I was only claiming 2 for the longest time, then I realized that I can claim myself, my husband and both our kids and PRESTO! $200 more on each paycheck! BE CAREFUL though. You may have to pay back some of the money at the end of the year if you take home too much...

If you break even to what you earn I would do the same as I've recommended above. You may not be spending more right now, but if you're breaking even of "right on the cuff" that's still not the greatest because you're not saving or getting ahead financially. I would consider scaling back on your lifestyle in some ways to be able to save each month. Even if it's only $30-$50, it's better than $0.

That's all on financial fluff for today! I hope you learned something and if not, thanks for reading anyway!

... In A Rut

I think I experienced my quarter-life crisis.

Lately I have felt stuck. Out of place. A little anxious. Waiting. Expecting. Changing?

I haven't been blogging at all lately. Maybe because I haven't had anything exciting to share, not to mention I've been busier than busy. Crazy more like. The last time I did write though was about how I'm a crazy working mom and all the things that I have to do everyday. After I wrote it it dawned on me that I shouldn't be having to feel so overwhelmed all the time for all the responsibilities I have - shouldn't my husband be sharing some of these burdens with me? Why do I feel so alone?

So I gave this some thought. Why DO I feel so alone? Probably because I was alone most of the time, in the responsibility sharing anyway. I may not have been physically alone all the time, although I was a lot, I felt alone because I was, and am, the only person in my household that takes our lives by the reigns, takes control and takes responsibility.

I cried. A lot. I felt disappointment my life was where it was at and confused as to how it got there. I was so unhappy. I still do feel unhappy, but not as bad as I was feeling because I realized that in this life, in my life, sometimes you just do what you have to do.

I also realized that I needed to talk with my husband. A serious "come to Jesus" kind of talk if you know what I mean.  I told my husband how I felt. I told him there was a big difference between "helping around the house" and "actually taking responsibility for things". I swear I could go on and on and on about all the things I do that I feel my husband doesn't even notice - Really? Do you think some magic fairy comes in here while we're at work everyday? -- Regardless -- I told him I needed some help. That I couldn't do it anymore. I was exhausted and on the verge of breakdown.

The response I got from him wasn't ideal. I'm still hurting from it and the fact that maybe this is it for me. I may be alone and feel alone for a while, at least until the boys get older and they will want to do more boy-type things with their dad. But here is the difference - you see the picture above? I was feeling like the guy in yellow, but now I'm starting to feel more like that annoying-ly happy and optimistic person in pink. Maybe not quite that giddy, but close enough to satisfy me for now.

I also think I had a skewed picture of my husband in my head up until this point. I thought he would change and grow and he hasn't. A man is only as good as the woman who stands behind him/beside him, so the past few weeks when I've been having my quarter-life crisis, he hasn't been the greatest either, probably because he can sense my unhappiness. As a result, I'm trying to come to terms with the fact that he is at where he is at and as long as he is happy with who he is and where he is going, I should be too, right?

Except I'm not. I want him to be better. I want him to want to be better. I want him to work harder. I want him to want to work harder. I want him to spend time with me and the boys. I want him to want to spend time with me and the boys. I want him to drink less. I want him to want to drink less. I don't tell him these things. I stay supportive and positive. After all, nagging is the number one reason couples get divorced these days...

And we are getting better. My husband and I are going on a date night tonight. I'm trying here, guys. I told him we need to make an effort to hang out with each other at least a couple times a month. He agreed - willingly, might I add. It was scary thinking that my marriage was sort of rocky for a few weeks there - we've never experienced something like that before and I know it won't be the last time.

The biggest thing I want from him is to put us, me, his wife, and his children, our sons, first and foremost instead of trying to do everything else besides just simply be with us and be content.

It's hard. But right now I don't feel as alone as I did a couple weeks ago and that is definitely a sign things are going in the right direction. I never would have made it through these weeks without My Faith or my wonderful mother, who always has an ear to listen, a heart to open and courage to tell me the ugly truth when I need to hear it.

I promise to write about some financial or health and wellness fluff later this week.

Thanks for those that made it through this rant post.

Just Give It To Me Straight

Exhaustion - (ig-zos-chen) - The act or process of exhausting; the state of being exhausted.


See the picture to the right? That is me. Literally, that is me - However, you need to add one more child to the mix.

I'm officially exhausted this week. I've been working late almost every night, Jacob got a double ear infection, I cook dinner every night, my work is always with me via mobile phone, I'm reading Girl With The Dragon Tattoo, I've been waking up at the crack of dawn to keep up with my running regimen, my company has corporate events galore in the next two weeks and none of our materials are ready or right - I'm too exhausted to even think about having a drink, which is probably exactly what I need right now to relax.

And to boot, I'm totally bitchy, PMSing and craving chocolate like nobody's business...

Something's gotta give. I admit it, I can't do all of this and keep this momentum or success. I feel like I'm juggling five million balls in the air and if I lose one, they're all going to drop. I feel like I'm half-assing everything all the time because I can only give so much of my time to certain places - being a wife, being a mother, being an employee, being a daughter, being a sister, being a cousin, being a friend - I can't give my all to anything right now and for someone that hates to be a half-asser, it sucks and I feel like a failure all. the. time.

What do I do?

I love my life, but sometimes it's so freaking hard I just want to cry. I want a hug. I want to be alone with my thoughts and sit in a jacuzzi tub with my book and have everyone leave me alone. I want an uninterrupted night of sleep. I want things that I can't have right now and may not have for a long time, and that's the truth of the matter, which I'm fine with, but right now I'm having one of those freaking hard moments. It will pass, as it always does.

PS - Sorry I've sucked at blogging. Because of the remarks above, I've been completely crazy. I will get better at blogging and I need to schedule time to blog because I love it.

All for now. I hope everyone enjoys their weekend and I hope that I get some time to reboot, refresh and debrief.

More Really Good Financial Advice - Protect. Your. Paycheck.



Financial Plan Pyramid

If you rely on your paycheck to make the rent, pay the mortgage, buy food, pay your bills, to live, then you definitely need to seriously consider reading my blog today (not that you shouldn't everyday, right?)...

Today we're going to talk not only about finances, but the importance of a financial plan. I know, I know, BORING! But no, seriously, everyone (even me) knows that financial planners are a dime-a-dozen these days, BUT I guarantee if you take five minutes to read this post, you can make your own financial plan and may not even need the help of a professional if you don't want to deal with the headache.

I like to use symbolism and pictures when I talk about financial planning and today is no different. To the right you see a pyramid and the conversation today revolves around the bottom of the pyramid, which represents the "base" of your financial plan.

As I began saying, if you rely on your paycheck, or your spouse's or partner's paycheck to make it from week-to-week, what's your plan if you, your spouse or partner becomes too sick or hurt to work? Lemme guess...

Worker's Compensation? Alright, fair enough. However, what happens if they get sick or hurt OFF the job?

Savings? Really? How much savings to you have? 3 months? 6 months? A year? Yeah right, I seriously don't believe you. Keep reading.

Have disability coverage through work? OK, that's cool. However, did you know that only covers 60% of your total pay and most likely doesn't include commissions, bonuses or any incentive pay? To boot, it's most likely a taxable benefit if your employer is providing it, so it really comes down to like... 40% of your total pay. Can you live off 40% of your total pay? Probs not.

...So, back to my point, what are you doing to PROTECT YOUR PAYCHECK that funds your friggin' life?!?

As much as we all hate to admit that money is everything, we need it. We're talking about being able to provide for a family, keep a roof over heads, keep food on the table, keep gas in the car, ummm... it sort of is everything, right? (Damn the man!) But, it's true.

Did you know you can protect your paycheck by purchasing your very own disability insurance? (Sidenote: Ahhh! I hate the word insurance, but that's what it is. We can also call it Disability Income Protection- MUCH BETTER.) And best of all, it's reasonably priced. Disability Income Protection protects you and your family if you become too sick or hurt to work and believe it or not, illness is the highest rate of claims, NOT accidents...

Some statistics for you (taken from The Council for Disability Awareness http://www.disabilitycanhappen.org/)...

• 44% of U.S. families spend more than they earn.
• One-third of U.S. families have no retirement savings.
• 60% of adult Americans have NO savings for emergencies.
• About 100 million workers are without private disability income insurance.
• 71% of Americans would find it difficult to meet their current financial obligations if their next paycheck were delayed for one week.

...See why I didn't believe you about that savings BS you said earlier?

People, I don't write today to scare you or cause you to be paranoid about getting cancer or getting in a car accident. I'm simply asking that you take a look at your financial plan - (if you don't have one, I'm seriously shaking my head right now... email me)- and do the following...

1. START A SAVINGS ACCOUNT. Make sure you have at least three months worth of savings put away in case something, anything happens to your income. In fact, I would challenge you to do at least 6 months if you can! If you think you can't save any money, seriously email me and I will help you - that's how much I believe this is SO important, literally tearing up I'm so passionate about this. I'm a dork, I know.
2. MAKE A DISABILITY PLAN. Determine what your or your family's plan is if you or your spouse/partner becomes too sick or hurt to work - I'm talking a short-term plan and a long-term plan because you should have a plan for BOTH. If you do number 1, you should be able to purchase some Disability Insurance (DI) for whoever is working. If it's both of you, and you rely on both your incomes, then you both need a plan. Period. No excuses. Again, I'm so passionate about this because it happens ALL THE TIME. Unpected illness accounts for a huge amount of home foreclosures - true statement - look it up.
3. DON'T JUST READ THIS AND NOT TAKE ACTION. This step speaks for itself.

If you seriously have questions about any of this information, email me. I don't sell this stuff, I advocate for its importance because I am seriously passionate about protecting people from financial catastrophies.

Happy Planning and Happy Hump Day!