As summer approaches, I frequently joke with my husband saying, "Honey, my birthday is coming up soon, I hope you're planning something special!", he looks at me, adoringly annoyed, "Sweetie, your birthday isn't until August," and I reply, "Yes, but August is
my birthday
month and," with sarcasm in my voice, "after all, it's all about ME honey," I laugh, "Don't ever forget it!".
Although he never finds my dropping hints about making my birthday \as funny as I do, the key in that conversation is the sarcasm implied in, "It's all about me!". For those of us that are married, we know that type of attitude certainly isn't tolerated, however, for those that are still enjoying the single or dating life, it truly is all about you, and that's just wonderful! My question is, when did Americans turn into such "It's all about me-er's" with selfish behavior? When did it become acceptable to work on Sundays? Or worse, cheat on your wife (or husband)? The horrifying thing about these things is that to most Americans, these new rituals don't even shock us anymore.
Case in point: Weiner and Schwartzenegger (forgive me Arnold, I don't know the exact spelling of your last name, nor do I care to learn). Both of these men have committed self-fullfilling indiscretions that have been exposed to the public (is the fact that they're both in government ironic or what?), but I have to wonder, does anyone ever consider what kind of message exposing these types of affairs sends to our children? Or how their wives feel about these stories being exposed? There's two selfish parties here: The men for giving into the tempation of cheating and the media for wanting to make a quick buck by exposing someone else's mistakes.
As a mother of two young boys, I hate (literally, hate) the new picture American society paints of a man. Take a trip back to a man 30-40 years ago: A man was someone who provided for his family, came home to his wife, was devoted to his children and didn't leave his family. A man today is viewed "soft" or "weak" if he "gives in to the ol' ball and chain". Ironically enough, a strong man is spreading his seed! Embracing the single life! Working for his own success! Caring only about himself! Why have just one woman when you can have ANY woman anytime? What's worse is, women are also OK with this new societal trend...
Women today are becoming more and more powerful in the work force, some say even more powerful than men are. In fact, the recent recession was actually called a "Man-cession" by economists because of the high amount of men that lost jobs vs. women. From a corporate stand point, who needs a man? Now, I'm all for women in the work force. I consider myself a part of one of those women and by all means, keep on steppin' ladies, good for you! But, what I don't like, is how this attitude in the corporate world funnels into our personal lives. More and more women are remaining single with the same independent focus that men are. Why have just one man when it's so easy to go out and get any man anytime? (Take your pick, ladies! Apparently it doesn't matter what their marital status is anyway!).
I could go on and on about this trend, but my point is- How is this "Be yourself and don' care 'bout if it's good enough for anyone else" attitude going to affect our future? Our children? Their children? How can you be held accountable for anything you do if you don't have someone else there to hold you accountable? Women especially have become so hyper sensitive to this, "If he doesn't like it, he can deal with it," (I've even been guilty of this from time to time). However, ladies, would you treat your best friend with that same type of attitude? I think not.
And so, as a result, we now have a generation of men and women who think they don't need each other. The women because they think they can do anything they want without the help or support of a man, and the men because the women aren't holding them accountable for their behavior, we're just leaving them when they screw up and as a result, men won't support women since apparently, we can do anything and everything without them.
For many of us that are married there is even selfish thinking happening there! If the relationship stops being convenient for you or if things just aren't working out, we'll just get divorced. Newsflash: I've been married for 2 years and it's the HARDEST thing I've ever done in my life. Relationships are HARD. They are WORK. They are MESSY. I'm blessed to have a partner that's willing to get dirty and be a fighter WITH me, even though sometimes it may feel he's against me, we're always fighing for the greater good of us, each other and our children.
Look, I know that things that happen in this life are hard. And we're all wired to be selfish, that is our God-given fault because we have FREE WILL and our will tells us to do what's best for ourselves because it's our survival instincts to want to 'go it alone'. And certainly, it would be much easier that way. But, if we don't start fighting for our marriages, our families, each other's well-being, putting other's best interests before our own, etc. We're all going to end up alone and then where does that leave us?...
I'm done ranting. And maybe ya'll will think this is a pretty conservative point of view, but this is just how I feel and I guess that's what makes me "Just Another Mrs.".
