Just Give It To Me Straight

Exhaustion - (ig-zos-chen) - The act or process of exhausting; the state of being exhausted.


See the picture to the right? That is me. Literally, that is me - However, you need to add one more child to the mix.

I'm officially exhausted this week. I've been working late almost every night, Jacob got a double ear infection, I cook dinner every night, my work is always with me via mobile phone, I'm reading Girl With The Dragon Tattoo, I've been waking up at the crack of dawn to keep up with my running regimen, my company has corporate events galore in the next two weeks and none of our materials are ready or right - I'm too exhausted to even think about having a drink, which is probably exactly what I need right now to relax.

And to boot, I'm totally bitchy, PMSing and craving chocolate like nobody's business...

Something's gotta give. I admit it, I can't do all of this and keep this momentum or success. I feel like I'm juggling five million balls in the air and if I lose one, they're all going to drop. I feel like I'm half-assing everything all the time because I can only give so much of my time to certain places - being a wife, being a mother, being an employee, being a daughter, being a sister, being a cousin, being a friend - I can't give my all to anything right now and for someone that hates to be a half-asser, it sucks and I feel like a failure all. the. time.

What do I do?

I love my life, but sometimes it's so freaking hard I just want to cry. I want a hug. I want to be alone with my thoughts and sit in a jacuzzi tub with my book and have everyone leave me alone. I want an uninterrupted night of sleep. I want things that I can't have right now and may not have for a long time, and that's the truth of the matter, which I'm fine with, but right now I'm having one of those freaking hard moments. It will pass, as it always does.

PS - Sorry I've sucked at blogging. Because of the remarks above, I've been completely crazy. I will get better at blogging and I need to schedule time to blog because I love it.

All for now. I hope everyone enjoys their weekend and I hope that I get some time to reboot, refresh and debrief.

More Really Good Financial Advice - Protect. Your. Paycheck.



Financial Plan Pyramid

If you rely on your paycheck to make the rent, pay the mortgage, buy food, pay your bills, to live, then you definitely need to seriously consider reading my blog today (not that you shouldn't everyday, right?)...

Today we're going to talk not only about finances, but the importance of a financial plan. I know, I know, BORING! But no, seriously, everyone (even me) knows that financial planners are a dime-a-dozen these days, BUT I guarantee if you take five minutes to read this post, you can make your own financial plan and may not even need the help of a professional if you don't want to deal with the headache.

I like to use symbolism and pictures when I talk about financial planning and today is no different. To the right you see a pyramid and the conversation today revolves around the bottom of the pyramid, which represents the "base" of your financial plan.

As I began saying, if you rely on your paycheck, or your spouse's or partner's paycheck to make it from week-to-week, what's your plan if you, your spouse or partner becomes too sick or hurt to work? Lemme guess...

Worker's Compensation? Alright, fair enough. However, what happens if they get sick or hurt OFF the job?

Savings? Really? How much savings to you have? 3 months? 6 months? A year? Yeah right, I seriously don't believe you. Keep reading.

Have disability coverage through work? OK, that's cool. However, did you know that only covers 60% of your total pay and most likely doesn't include commissions, bonuses or any incentive pay? To boot, it's most likely a taxable benefit if your employer is providing it, so it really comes down to like... 40% of your total pay. Can you live off 40% of your total pay? Probs not.

...So, back to my point, what are you doing to PROTECT YOUR PAYCHECK that funds your friggin' life?!?

As much as we all hate to admit that money is everything, we need it. We're talking about being able to provide for a family, keep a roof over heads, keep food on the table, keep gas in the car, ummm... it sort of is everything, right? (Damn the man!) But, it's true.

Did you know you can protect your paycheck by purchasing your very own disability insurance? (Sidenote: Ahhh! I hate the word insurance, but that's what it is. We can also call it Disability Income Protection- MUCH BETTER.) And best of all, it's reasonably priced. Disability Income Protection protects you and your family if you become too sick or hurt to work and believe it or not, illness is the highest rate of claims, NOT accidents...

Some statistics for you (taken from The Council for Disability Awareness http://www.disabilitycanhappen.org/)...

• 44% of U.S. families spend more than they earn.
• One-third of U.S. families have no retirement savings.
• 60% of adult Americans have NO savings for emergencies.
• About 100 million workers are without private disability income insurance.
• 71% of Americans would find it difficult to meet their current financial obligations if their next paycheck were delayed for one week.

...See why I didn't believe you about that savings BS you said earlier?

People, I don't write today to scare you or cause you to be paranoid about getting cancer or getting in a car accident. I'm simply asking that you take a look at your financial plan - (if you don't have one, I'm seriously shaking my head right now... email me)- and do the following...

1. START A SAVINGS ACCOUNT. Make sure you have at least three months worth of savings put away in case something, anything happens to your income. In fact, I would challenge you to do at least 6 months if you can! If you think you can't save any money, seriously email me and I will help you - that's how much I believe this is SO important, literally tearing up I'm so passionate about this. I'm a dork, I know.
2. MAKE A DISABILITY PLAN. Determine what your or your family's plan is if you or your spouse/partner becomes too sick or hurt to work - I'm talking a short-term plan and a long-term plan because you should have a plan for BOTH. If you do number 1, you should be able to purchase some Disability Insurance (DI) for whoever is working. If it's both of you, and you rely on both your incomes, then you both need a plan. Period. No excuses. Again, I'm so passionate about this because it happens ALL THE TIME. Unpected illness accounts for a huge amount of home foreclosures - true statement - look it up.
3. DON'T JUST READ THIS AND NOT TAKE ACTION. This step speaks for itself.

If you seriously have questions about any of this information, email me. I don't sell this stuff, I advocate for its importance because I am seriously passionate about protecting people from financial catastrophies.

Happy Planning and Happy Hump Day!

Freedom

Freedom isn't all it's cracked up to be.

"...Yep. That's how I intend to keep it. No responsibilities," my coworker said to me last week when I commented on his care-free, cavalier lifestyle. Although I gave off the impression to him that I'm jealous, I'm not. I can't imagine what it would be like to have no mate, no children and no regard for anyone but yourself. How selfish. How silly. How foreign to a wife and mother like me.

Freedom isn't all it's cracked up to be.

This past Saturday my children stayed with my parents while Luke and I got a chance to have a "date day" and went to a surprise party for one of our friends. "Date day" was awesome. We went golfing, had a couple of cocktails and were home by 4:30ish. We took a shower and got ready for the surprise party. Dinner and the surprise were both fun, but over by about 9:00 and then everyone wanted to go to the bar. All I wanted to do was go home and snuggle in bed with my husband and our kids.

We proceeded to the bar. I really didn't want to be there and I suck at hiding my feelings. Even when I try to hide it, they're still written all over my face and my actions and people usually perceive my as a bitch at that point - I don't even care anymore what they think because that's exactly how I'm acting and they have every right to think that way about me. No I don't want a drink. No I definitely don't want a shot of anything and by the way, I don't care how good of friends you are with my husband, do. not. touch. me. Yep. That's basically the vibe I gave off all night. I sipped on a few beers and pretended to take a shot with our birthday friend. We got home at 3:00 A.M. I was sober and completely exhausted. Husband was not even a sliver of sober and also completely exhausted.

Freedom isn't all it's cracked up to be.

I woke up at 7 A.M. yesterday, put a pot of coffee on and was so anxious. I just wanted to be with my children. I hated the fact that I was missing banana pancakes, Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and morning snuggles. I went to the grocery store and stocked up on all things healthy for the week. Finally 10:00 A.M. arrived and I got to pick up the boys. I cried when I picked them up I was so overcome with happiness to see them. Geez I'm totally crazy - we weren't even apart for 24 hours at that point. They were both equally excited and happy to see me too.

Freedom isn't all it's cracked up to be.

My morning and early afternoon was filled with hugs, sloppy kisses, sidewalk chalk, trucks, cars, tractors, macoroni and cheese, bubbles and a two-hour nap next to my one-year old and a pile of clean laundry that needed to be folded... That two hours of sleep was better than any rest I got all weekend.

Freedom isn't all it's cracked up to be.

Evening was filled with more sloppy kisses, hugs, cuddling, lightning mcqueen, trike rides, a drive by the river with the windows down, steak dinner, bath time and a movie. I was in bed early and felt my husband come in later and hug and kiss me goodnight.

Freedom isn't all it's cracked up to be.

So many people think we're crazy. So what? We love our married life and our children. Freedom isn't all it's cracked up to be, which is something you can only discover once you're not free.

... A Short Story ...

When she left the office she felt lighter. Fumbling through her purse she dialed home, longing for a comforting voice.

"Hello?"
"Hi Mom. How was your day?"
"My day was really good up until 30 minutes ago."
"Why? Oh no. What happened?" She felt her stomach drop. Did someone die again? Not again. Please not again.
"Have you talked to dad today?"
She thought. Yes. He called me at work around 10:30 and he sounded fine. Fuck. Was he drunk? He didn't sound drunk. Should I lie? Fuck.
"No. Why?" Why did I just lie? I totally talked to him.
"I tried calling him and texting him and I haven't talked to him all day."
"Wait. Yes. He did call me at work this morning and he sounded fine. Is he home now?"
"Well, I tried calling him again once I got home and he still wasn't answering. I have no clue where he was. Then I heard noises and crashing in the garage and the garage door was open. Chris and Michelle were carrying dad in. He was so out of it, he had no clue where he was. He couldn't walk. He couldn't talk."
Fuck.
"Oh my god."
"We tried to carry him upstairs, but then I said it would probably be easier to bring him downstairs. He's sleeping there now. I've never seen him like that."
"Oh my god. Do you think he was on drugs?"
"I don't know. I don't even know where he was or who he was with. I'm so embarrassed. What if he was downtown? I'm so embarrassed."
"Don't be embarrassed, mom. It's him, not you."
"I know."
"Do you think he's going to get sick?" What a dumb fucking question. Of course he's going to get sick, you idiot.
"Probably."
"I know what you're feeling right now, mom. I really do."
"Yeah, well, it's a little different when it's a 70 year old man."
"I know."
How did we get here? When did he become this way? This man? Foreign. This is foreign. Where am I? 62. Get off on 62. Fuck traffic. Where is my loving, caring, handsome father in this? Blurry.
"I can't lift him by myself. What if he tries to move?" Blurry. What did she just say?
"Don't leave him alone. I'm sorry, mom. I know I didn't do anything , but I'm sorry this is happening. Did you talk to Peggy today? Do you think she will come over or.." Dumb. No of course not, you idiot. Why would she want anyone to see this situation? This is awkward. Why is this awkward? I want to hug mom.
"I sent her a text to walk with me, but I don't think I'll go anywhere now and I don't want anyone coming here."
No shit.
"I know." Should I try to make small talk?
"I just have no idea where he was or who he was with."
"I know." This scares her. It scares me too. Drugs? Booze? His prescriptions? Fuck. This is bad. Will this kill him? What if he dies? He killed himself. "He is going to be so sick from this, mom."
"I know."
"Like... sick for days, mom."
"I know...It makes so so sad that he does this to himself." I need to end this conversation. Dad. Why?
"Please call me if anything happens to dad or text me. I don't think anything will, bu.."
"I will."
"I love you."
"I love you too."

She hung up and tried to cry. Why can't I cry. There were no tears left. Should I call Tim? Should I call Pam? What are they even going to say. They don't know him like I do. They aren't here. They don't know. They won't understand. Maybe what they don't know and don't see won't hurt them. Tim might laugh. Laugh. Laugh. Laugh.

She called a friend. The situation magnified itself and became more serious, but she knew she needed perspective. An intervention? Treatment? Are you crazy? This is my dad you're talking about. He's 71 years old. What the fuck.
__________________________________

He never used to drink. She had no recollection of him ever drinking. Just love. Only love. I will always remember love. There still is love.

And she was grateful for that.

Life Just Got a Little Sweeter.

Sweet Potatoes - Simply Delicious!

Welcome back to me!

We had a fabulous family vacation out to North Dakota to see my mom's side of the family. Our little guy got to meet my Grandma for the first time (my only living Grandparent left, no sorrow, please) and my husband and I got to go golfing too. It was wonderful!

I have to admit, I missed blogging. I've been on a 2-3 time per week rampage lately, and I hope to continue with it.

Today, however, I didn't come to talk to you about my vacation or my life. Nope, we're back on a weekly track for health and wellness. First week we talked about bananas, followed by reading the labels, last week I talked about having the nerve to move forward with changing lifestyle and this week we're talking about (you guessed it) SWEET POTATOES and why they're friggin' amazing.

You don't like sweet potatoes? Fooey I say! Sweet Potatoes can be prepared in all kinds of ways (that even include REAL butter and honey) and still be nutritious and delicious! Best of all, sweet potatoes are just that, they're sweet all on their own and with a touch of butter or olive oil, they're super duper yummiriffic - yep, I just made that word up.

My first challenge to you with incorporating the sweet potato into your diet is to replace it with any white potatoes that you're currently eating. I don't care what it is... Regular baked potatoes, french fries, hash browns, you name it and replace it with a sweet potato. For any of you that say white potatoes count as a vegetable, you're so wrong. White potatoes are a starch, which means it is a carbohydrate, which means it turns to sugar in your system. If you're staying sedentary, or going to exercise, it's not an ideal fuel for your body. If you're hooked on the white potato, by all means, that's fine. I then challenge you to add onion and peppers to your potatoes and have the white potato serve as your only starch on the table.

Now to the most important part - the Nutritional Value in this sweet little thing...

Sweet potatoes are rich in complex carbohydrates (easily digested by the body to use for energy), dietary fiber (good for digestion track), beta carotene, Vitamin A, Vitamin C (probably one of the most amazing Vitamins for your body EVER - Wikipedia it for more info) and Vitamin B6 (assists in controlling sodium and potassium and production of red blood cells or hemoglobin). Sweet potatoes rank the highest in nutritional value against other vegetables, particularly the white potato (I can't stress this point enough).

Sweet potatoes are also a healthier alternative to pumpkin when making pumpkin pie (sweet potato pie).

Although simple, my goal is that you learn something and become motivated to incorporate some of the healthier suggestions of diet and lifestyle into your own habits. There are all kinds of excuses to not change and keep doing what you're doing, but the time is now to start making better decisions and take care of your body!

Take care of yourself, if you don't, who will?

In the meantime, get in the car, go buy some sweet potatoes and try this recipe:

Skin and slice two or three sweet potatoes into small, french fry sized pieces.
Place on cookie sheet with or without foil.
Drizzle with olive oil and sea salt.
Bake at 425 degrees until crispy.
Enjoy with sour cream or all natural ketchup.

Delish!