Just Give It To Me Straight

Exhaustion - (ig-zos-chen) - The act or process of exhausting; the state of being exhausted.


See the picture to the right? That is me. Literally, that is me - However, you need to add one more child to the mix.

I'm officially exhausted this week. I've been working late almost every night, Jacob got a double ear infection, I cook dinner every night, my work is always with me via mobile phone, I'm reading Girl With The Dragon Tattoo, I've been waking up at the crack of dawn to keep up with my running regimen, my company has corporate events galore in the next two weeks and none of our materials are ready or right - I'm too exhausted to even think about having a drink, which is probably exactly what I need right now to relax.

And to boot, I'm totally bitchy, PMSing and craving chocolate like nobody's business...

Something's gotta give. I admit it, I can't do all of this and keep this momentum or success. I feel like I'm juggling five million balls in the air and if I lose one, they're all going to drop. I feel like I'm half-assing everything all the time because I can only give so much of my time to certain places - being a wife, being a mother, being an employee, being a daughter, being a sister, being a cousin, being a friend - I can't give my all to anything right now and for someone that hates to be a half-asser, it sucks and I feel like a failure all. the. time.

What do I do?

I love my life, but sometimes it's so freaking hard I just want to cry. I want a hug. I want to be alone with my thoughts and sit in a jacuzzi tub with my book and have everyone leave me alone. I want an uninterrupted night of sleep. I want things that I can't have right now and may not have for a long time, and that's the truth of the matter, which I'm fine with, but right now I'm having one of those freaking hard moments. It will pass, as it always does.

PS - Sorry I've sucked at blogging. Because of the remarks above, I've been completely crazy. I will get better at blogging and I need to schedule time to blog because I love it.

All for now. I hope everyone enjoys their weekend and I hope that I get some time to reboot, refresh and debrief.