Let Your Heart BE Light

The holiday season is upon us. Whether you are a holiday lover or a holiday hater, it's the time of year where family comes together, we give gifts and we are (or try to be) thankful for another year.

For those of you that are "ba-hum-bug's" (and I know you're out there), I challenge you to take a new approach to the holidays this year and like the song says, let your heart BE light.

Now, before you go accusing me of being all goody and cheery and holiday merry-like, let me tell you, this year the holidays are met with great difficulty for my family. In the past year, Luke and I have lost 5 family members near and dear to our hearts and have faced financial hardships that are not uncommon to those in the middle class, but difficult none-the-less.

The first was my Uncle Doug (married to my dad's sister). Doug was a sweet, kind-hearted man. He used to play his guitar for us and we'd sing Christmas carols. He also made the best pancakes.

The second was my Grandma Cook (ma-mah). This loss came with such great sadness because not only did she pass away, but she passed away 2 weeks before I was due to have Jacob and I couldn't go to her funeral. Basically, I haven't really had any closure with her death yet and this time of year has been so hard and she's been in my thoughts so much. I miss you, Mamah.

The third was my Grandpa Steve. He wasn't my "real" Grandpa. But, he married my Grandma Cook when I was really little and he's basically the only Grandpa I've ever known. He was an army colonel and was a great, loyal and wonderful man to my Grandma. I miss him dearly. He always used to hug me so tight it would take my breath away! What a sweet man.

The fourth was Luke's Uncle Todd. This loss was extremely unexpected and a major loss for our family. He leaves behind his beautiful wife, Vicky, and two sons, Chase and Cole. I didn't know him well, but felt like I was just starting to really enjoy his company. Todd is greatly missed.

The fifth and I sure hope final, was Luke's Grandma, Val. There are not enough nice words in the dictionary to describe the kindess of this woman. She loved her family and she loved the Lord. She will forever be in my heart because when we got pregnant with Colton we had a world of judgement on our shoulders from family, friends, colleagues, you name it. When we came to tell them, Val brought out a picture of their wedding day and she said, "You see there, I was 5 months pregnant with Tammy (Luke's mom). The same thing was happening 50 years ago!". They were so happy and excited for us. I will never forget her and her kindness and I hope that I can be more like her.

On top of the losses, this year is tough because even though we're "home" with my mom and dad, we don't have our own home. Our Christmas decorations are packed away in our storage unit. Even though the boys are too little right now to remember where we are for this Christmas, in my heart I ache and long for a place of our own!

And as always with the holidays, the gift buying is always a challenge to do on a budget. But, we find a way to make it work.

2011 was tough. We lost loved ones. We lost our own home. And we've had financial hardships that are finally starting to come around a bit. But we were blessed with our healthy baby boy and that alone is enough to make it all better and all worth while.

So friends, I challenge you this holiday season to BE LIGHT. Forgive. Love. Forgive. Love. And let me warn you, this won't be the first holiday blogging....

I just enjoyed a holiday chocolate truffle. 120 calories down, only a few million more to go...

Happy Holidays!