I Have My Own Intern.

EXCITED FACE!

I'm happy to report my career has officially come full circle in one aspect - I now have my very own summer intern! I started in the workplace as an intern at an event center on Lake Minnetonka and loved it. I learned so much and I can only hope that my intern will learn as much here as I did at my first internship.

I WAS SO EXCITED when I heard we were getting a summer intern. Right now I am the only person driving the Business Development train at my office and I desperately need an assistant, but we have no room for anymore employees. Our company is bursting at the seams as far as capacity (good thing), but we're hesitant to move our offices to anywhere bigger... It will happen eventually, but right now, we're working with what we've got.

However, I must say having an intern is not all it's cracked up to be. Here I was thinking I was going to have tons of stuff for him to do when in actuality, he can't help me with a lot of aspects of my job because they're too detailed and complicated. It would be like him trying to come into The Good Shepard half-way through and figure out what the heck is going on - it's literally impossible.

As a result I have him doing easy tasks - updating our social networks, making sales calls, securing venues for upcoming events, etc. I know he is learning new things because he told me he is learning a lot, but I really hope that he gets a lot out of this opportunity and hey, maybe even secures a job at the end of summer? Doubtful, but if he rocks it he totally could.

Another thing I continually need to remind myself about is that he's so young! 21-22 years old and still has one semester left of school and as a result, at times his maturity level is a bit low... That's alright though. I still have moments that I act like a 21-year-old (this past weekend, for example, we got pretty rowdy at my friend's wedding) and I am sure I'll have more, but at times, it's like oh yeah... You're REALLY young still and it definitely shows.

For those of you that are my age - late 20's - my advice to you is to stay on your game. One thing I've noticed about this young chap is he is SMART and QUICK to learn, especially new technology. It's remarkable, really. I give him something to do and he is on it like white on  rice and bothering me for more to do. He's also willing and eager to learn new things and learns them fast. It's awesome, but gives me good reason to stay on top of my own skills because wow, the young ones are smart ya'll!!!

Well... Back to work!

PS - if you want to see more about what I do at work all day check out my companies blog HERE. We're also on Facebook here. Oh and one last thing, I'm featured on a training video here (the bottom video).

20-Something's Kinda Suck.

Yeah, yeah, I'm blogging twice today. Turns out my husband and I can't go away ever for a weekend without coming home to a sick child or sick children. Once again proving my point that I don't fully trust anyone else with our kids.

The past few weeks my husband and I have been going through the biggest valley we have ever been through in our marriage. We have been married two and a half years, together for seven years, have two children and as of late the honeymoon stage has been officially over. We are still learning how to be partners in life and compromise the best we can. I firmly believe there are always times in a marriage or relationship where one person feels they are giving 110% and the other person is maybe giving 50% at most. But, that's life and that's marriage and that's partnership! You agree to pull the other person's weight, however, you agree to pull the weight only if you trust they will pull the weight for you when the tables turn. Phew. That was a mouth full. But I know you understand what I'm saying.

One thing I can say is during this hard time we've gone through, we have communicated until we were blue in the face. I swear you can never talk to your husband, significant other, life partner, etc. enough. And I can also firmly say that I have been doing a better job at not TRIANGULATING the problem.

Example: Luke does something that makes me upset. Instead of just telling him about it, I call my mom and tell her about it. Or I call a friend and tell her about it. Before I even bring it to Luke I've escalated, or as I like to call it, TRIAGULATED the problem. I brought in a third party that is not objective and you know what happens then? The problem escalates even bigger and gets out of hand.

I suck at not triagulating. I run to my mom on a lot of things. I've been trying to get better at not doing that - it's dumb and immature and I need to just start dealing with life on my own.

I've also realized that being in our 20's has been REALLY REALLY REALLY HARD. Not only are we in our 20's, we're in our 20's with two kids, which at times seems financially impossible and the road ahead starts to look bleak. I'm so glad I have Luke to keep my head up. I'm not one to get down and frustrated and sad, but lately, man it's been really tough. I've been having a tough time seeing the glass half full and have been crying a lot - it's like a constant state of breaking up and putting back together again.

There have been a lot of changes in my "self" too. I've been reading the Bible a lot more, doing not just one, but two devotions a day. There are certain aspects of myself that I've been breaking up with and moving on from, just trying to become the best version of myself. I've also been finding myself not caring as much about what people think - I know that may sound dumb, but I'm so over caring about judgment because I know I'm not perfect and I make a ton of mistakes, but I also know that I'm doing the best I can and I'm giving it all I've got.

Isn't it strange in life how we go through transitions? It's like we wake up and know that something is just DIFFERENT. Like we know who we were yesterday is not who we are today and it's scary, but exciting at the same time because usually when this happens, you feel BETTER and STRONGER.

It's like that country song...

Life's a dance, you learn as you go;
Sometimes you lead, sometimes you follow.
Don't worry 'bout what you don't know;
Life's a dance, you learn as you go... 

Wedded Bliss!

This past weekend I had the opportunity to be involved in one of my closest friend's weddings. I was chosen to be her personal attendant. I was of course happy to help any way I could! I love my friend dearly and wanted to make sure her day would run smoothly. However, I was in no way prepared to be a personal attendant. I definitely should have done some research before I signed on for this job! We were laughing about it, but I honestly felt so much stress about the whole thing because I was unprepared! At one point someone even mistook me for the wedding planner. My husband was in absolute hysterics as he was standing right next to me when someone questioned a "blip" in the program. There were lots of laughs throughout the day and I didn't have a chance to talk with the bride after everything, but I think she was pleased with her special day!

All in all, I'd say the wedding was a success. My friend looked absolutely stunning, the epitome of what a bride should be and I know she and her new husband are going to live a long, happy life together.

I do want to take a moment to share with you all a few new rules I have learned about being involved in a wedding. I firmly believe there is etiquette you absolutely must follow. Please note I'm by no means a wedding planning professional and there are a lot more rules of etiquette I'm sure to be found online...

These are my points:

1. If you are a member of the bridal party (guy or girl) in any way, shape or form, try on what you are wearing before the actual day of the wedding. There is no time on the day of to take anything in, out or off whatever it may be that you are assigned to wear.
2. Don't forget this day is all about the bride and groom. That's it. No one else. If the bride or groom ask you to do something, do it. Simple as that.
3. Get good rest! A wedding is not just a ceremony and a reception. There are videos and photos being taken all day long and trust me, you are going to want to look fantastic in these pictures that are going to be shared for lifetimes to come.
4. If you absolutely must slip away for a moment during this big day for a drink, some food, a cigarette, a phone call, whatever it may be - do it at a time that is appropriate and when you've been made sure the bride or groom do not need you - especially prior to the ceremony. Once the reception comes around, there is wiggle room for this point.
5. If you are a personal attendant, come prepared for absolutely everything you can possibly think of - case in point, I didn't have a scissors and when I didn't have a scissors I got a lot of looks like, "Why the heck don't you have a scissors? DUH! You should totally have a scissors!" - Pack an "emergency" kit of sorts and possibly review scenarios with the bride before hand so you can be prepared together!

I'm so happy I got to be there for my friend and take part in every aspect of her wedding day. It was such a treat and I seriously learned A LOT about weddings! As a result of my stress of being unprepared in some ways for my assigned duties, I definitely drank way too much at the reception, however, after asking others, weddings seem to be a prime occasion for that to happen.

Happy wishes to my friend and her new hubby - I'm happy to say that there is another couple in my circle of friends that are now "married". xxoo

Inspiration.

Hi, My Name Is (Insert Name Here), and I'm Addicted To Facebook.

I deactivated my Facebook account over the weekend. I debated about announcing the fact that I deactivated the account, mainly because I don't want to draw attention to it, but I think it is important to talk about why I deactivated it in the first place.

Facebook Logo.

Over the past month or so I can honestly say Facebook has been consuming too much of my time. I recently added my own company onto Facebook and as a result, I would spend more time than I intended to surfing around others pictures, status updates, wall posts and needless to say, it was becoming a huge distraction for me! Both at work and at home. Then it dawned on me, Facebook has always been a distraction. Not to mention, it began to creep me out how many of my "friends" weren't actually "friends" -ifyaknowwhatimean.

Facebook was also inadvertently making me feel things such as...

• Jealous.
• Inferior.
• Judgmental.
• Accusing.
• Superior.

It is IMPOSSIBLE to not judge people when you're on Facebook. Whether you're pitying someone for even daring to post about how hungover they are on a Tuesday or you're totally jealous of your friend from high school that just received an engagement ring the size of Texas (seriously? Why her? She's not even that pretty. OMG.)... And the whole cycle continues in a sick, sick way - a never-ending stream of gossip and smack talk.

Enough already.

All those characteristics described above are all characteristics I would never use to describe myself, but I instantly take on all of them just by signing onto Facebook and surfing my newsfeed.

I've handed the admin status of my company's Facebook over to our summer intern for the time being and I'm sure I'll be forced to reactivate the account at some point to access my company page after he is gone, but until then, check you later, Facebook. I'm done letting you consume my life and my character.

Financial Fluff.

Finances Can Be Confusing.

As promised, I'm writing again this week about a much lighter topic than my quarter-life crisis. A big thank you to the comments I received, by the way. My readers (and friends) are so thoughtful, understanding and supportive.


Anywho - onto the financial fluff. How's everyone doing with some of the financial suggestions I've tossed out? I was sad concerned I received no emails about the financial planning first steps post I put together back in March and to boot, I didn't receive hardly any reaction about the disability planning. I can't possibly put into words how passionately I feel about having a solid financial plan - I don't care who you are, wherever you are - what the hell heck is your financial plan? What are your financial goals for the future? Where do you want to be financially in 6 months? 1 year? 2 years? 5 years? 10 years?


If you don't have answers to all these questions, it's something you should look into finding answers for, but it's OK - that's why I'm here. If nothing else, my goal is to motivate you to take action, take control and take responsibility for your financial situation.


Couple of facts:

1. 44% of American Families spend more than they earn. If this number isn't alarming to you, please read this statistic again. This stat seriously makes me hurt because I know, for a fact, that a good portion of this percentage is because of point number two...
2. Despite this fact, Americans continue to live outside their means. Enough with all this "keep up with the Jones'" mentality. In fact, enough with all the over access crap. Example from my own financial situation: My husband and I recently decided to cancel our cable and get basic television. Why? Because "cable" was costing us over $100 per month and we were constantly complaining there was nothing on T.V. Not to mention our sons are obsessed with the movies Hop and Cars and we normally are forced to watch too... Now we pay $10 a month for basic T.V. Presto! An extra $90+ per month into our savings.

A few suggestions (please follow these steps):

1. Write down, right now, on paper, how much money you TAKE HOME in a month. The "take home" part is important - Unfortunately, you pay Uncle Sam first...
2. Create categories according to what you spend your money on (rent/mortgage, food, gas, utility bills, cable/internet, cell phone, daycare/school costs, insurances, student loans, credit cards, etc.) DO NOT CHEAT YOURSELF. Be honest about your "spending categories".
3. Write down the dollar amount you spent in each of these categories in the past month - You can do this by going to http://www.mint.com and it will do it for you - However, you can also easily do it yourself by looking at your bank statement.
4. Add up all your spending dollars and subtract it from the number you wrote down in number 1.
5. HOW DID YOU DO? Did you spend more than you earn? Spend less than you earn? Break even to what you earn?

Next steps:

If you spend more than you earn... Do the same exercise (steps 1-5) for two months prior to see if this is a trend. Sometimes things happen - you had car trouble, a medical expense came up or you threw a party and spent more on food than normal - What's important is to recognize if you have a pattern of spending more than you earn. If the pattern if more spending is clear, make two columns on a piece of paper: One column should be a list of things you "can financially control" and the other should be things that you "cannot financially control". (Example: Price of Gas is something you cannot financially control, but you can control how much you're driving around). From those columns, you have to decide where you can cut back on spending. Pretty simple, but it's a lot easier said than done.

It doesn't stop there, challenge yourself to stick to these guidelines! Do this exercise again in a couple of months and see how you're staying on track. If you're continually getting off track, I would consider sitting down with a financial professional.

Another bit of advice, take a look at how many allowances/dependents you claim on your paycheck. Did you know you can take home more money if you claim more allowances? I was only claiming 2 for the longest time, then I realized that I can claim myself, my husband and both our kids and PRESTO! $200 more on each paycheck! BE CAREFUL though. You may have to pay back some of the money at the end of the year if you take home too much...

If you break even to what you earn I would do the same as I've recommended above. You may not be spending more right now, but if you're breaking even of "right on the cuff" that's still not the greatest because you're not saving or getting ahead financially. I would consider scaling back on your lifestyle in some ways to be able to save each month. Even if it's only $30-$50, it's better than $0.

That's all on financial fluff for today! I hope you learned something and if not, thanks for reading anyway!

... In A Rut

I think I experienced my quarter-life crisis.

Lately I have felt stuck. Out of place. A little anxious. Waiting. Expecting. Changing?

I haven't been blogging at all lately. Maybe because I haven't had anything exciting to share, not to mention I've been busier than busy. Crazy more like. The last time I did write though was about how I'm a crazy working mom and all the things that I have to do everyday. After I wrote it it dawned on me that I shouldn't be having to feel so overwhelmed all the time for all the responsibilities I have - shouldn't my husband be sharing some of these burdens with me? Why do I feel so alone?

So I gave this some thought. Why DO I feel so alone? Probably because I was alone most of the time, in the responsibility sharing anyway. I may not have been physically alone all the time, although I was a lot, I felt alone because I was, and am, the only person in my household that takes our lives by the reigns, takes control and takes responsibility.

I cried. A lot. I felt disappointment my life was where it was at and confused as to how it got there. I was so unhappy. I still do feel unhappy, but not as bad as I was feeling because I realized that in this life, in my life, sometimes you just do what you have to do.

I also realized that I needed to talk with my husband. A serious "come to Jesus" kind of talk if you know what I mean.  I told my husband how I felt. I told him there was a big difference between "helping around the house" and "actually taking responsibility for things". I swear I could go on and on and on about all the things I do that I feel my husband doesn't even notice - Really? Do you think some magic fairy comes in here while we're at work everyday? -- Regardless -- I told him I needed some help. That I couldn't do it anymore. I was exhausted and on the verge of breakdown.

The response I got from him wasn't ideal. I'm still hurting from it and the fact that maybe this is it for me. I may be alone and feel alone for a while, at least until the boys get older and they will want to do more boy-type things with their dad. But here is the difference - you see the picture above? I was feeling like the guy in yellow, but now I'm starting to feel more like that annoying-ly happy and optimistic person in pink. Maybe not quite that giddy, but close enough to satisfy me for now.

I also think I had a skewed picture of my husband in my head up until this point. I thought he would change and grow and he hasn't. A man is only as good as the woman who stands behind him/beside him, so the past few weeks when I've been having my quarter-life crisis, he hasn't been the greatest either, probably because he can sense my unhappiness. As a result, I'm trying to come to terms with the fact that he is at where he is at and as long as he is happy with who he is and where he is going, I should be too, right?

Except I'm not. I want him to be better. I want him to want to be better. I want him to work harder. I want him to want to work harder. I want him to spend time with me and the boys. I want him to want to spend time with me and the boys. I want him to drink less. I want him to want to drink less. I don't tell him these things. I stay supportive and positive. After all, nagging is the number one reason couples get divorced these days...

And we are getting better. My husband and I are going on a date night tonight. I'm trying here, guys. I told him we need to make an effort to hang out with each other at least a couple times a month. He agreed - willingly, might I add. It was scary thinking that my marriage was sort of rocky for a few weeks there - we've never experienced something like that before and I know it won't be the last time.

The biggest thing I want from him is to put us, me, his wife, and his children, our sons, first and foremost instead of trying to do everything else besides just simply be with us and be content.

It's hard. But right now I don't feel as alone as I did a couple weeks ago and that is definitely a sign things are going in the right direction. I never would have made it through these weeks without My Faith or my wonderful mother, who always has an ear to listen, a heart to open and courage to tell me the ugly truth when I need to hear it.

I promise to write about some financial or health and wellness fluff later this week.

Thanks for those that made it through this rant post.