Yeah, yeah, I'm blogging twice today. Turns out my husband and I can't go away ever for a weekend without coming home to a sick child or sick children. Once again proving my point that I don't fully trust anyone else with our kids.
The past few weeks my husband and I have been going through the biggest valley we have ever been through in our marriage. We have been married two and a half years, together for seven years, have two children and as of late the honeymoon stage has been officially over. We are still learning how to be partners in life and compromise the best we can. I firmly believe there are always times in a marriage or relationship where one person feels they are giving 110% and the other person is maybe giving 50% at most. But, that's life and that's marriage and that's partnership! You agree to pull the other person's weight, however, you agree to pull the weight only if you trust they will pull the weight for you when the tables turn. Phew. That was a mouth full. But I know you understand what I'm saying.
One thing I can say is during this hard time we've gone through, we have communicated until we were blue in the face. I swear you can never talk to your husband, significant other, life partner, etc. enough. And I can also firmly say that I have been doing a better job at not TRIANGULATING the problem.
Example: Luke does something that makes me upset. Instead of just telling him about it, I call my mom and tell her about it. Or I call a friend and tell her about it. Before I even bring it to Luke I've escalated, or as I like to call it, TRIAGULATED the problem. I brought in a third party that is not objective and you know what happens then? The problem escalates even bigger and gets out of hand.
I suck at not triagulating. I run to my mom on a lot of things. I've been trying to get better at not doing that - it's dumb and immature and I need to just start dealing with life on my own.
I've also realized that being in our 20's has been REALLY REALLY REALLY HARD. Not only are we in our 20's, we're in our 20's with two kids, which at times seems financially impossible and the road ahead starts to look bleak. I'm so glad I have Luke to keep my head up. I'm not one to get down and frustrated and sad, but lately, man it's been really tough. I've been having a tough time seeing the glass half full and have been crying a lot - it's like a constant state of breaking up and putting back together again.
There have been a lot of changes in my "self" too. I've been reading the Bible a lot more, doing not just one, but two devotions a day. There are certain aspects of myself that I've been breaking up with and moving on from, just trying to become the best version of myself. I've also been finding myself not caring as much about what people think - I know that may sound dumb, but I'm so over caring about judgment because I know I'm not perfect and I make a ton of mistakes, but I also know that I'm doing the best I can and I'm giving it all I've got.
Isn't it strange in life how we go through transitions? It's like we wake up and know that something is just DIFFERENT. Like we know who we were yesterday is not who we are today and it's scary, but exciting at the same time because usually when this happens, you feel BETTER and STRONGER.
It's like that country song...
Life's a dance, you learn as you go;
Sometimes you lead, sometimes you follow.
Don't worry 'bout what you don't know;
Life's a dance, you learn as you go...
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