Day 1 of 90 - {{New Leaf}}

"Faith is a journey, not a guilt trip."

I saw this quote yesterday driving home from picking up my son at my parent's house. I seriously felt like it was speaking to me when I saw it. Do you ever have those moments in life where you think, "WOW! That sign or quote or whatever it may be was literally made just for me at that moment?"

I have to say that being a Christian is sometimes really tough for me. I feel like I have a constant battle in my emotional and physical well-being. I like to drink, sometimes too much, I love food, also sometimes too much of it, I curse on occasion, I don't always love my neighbor as I love myself and I'm really selfish sometimes. For all these reasons I feel guilty a lot and I feel really crappy about myself. I constantly think that I'm not good enough. I'm not a good enough wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend - you name it - because of these short-comings. But, if you know anything about having faith or what the bible tells us, Jesus knows that we're all sinners and guess what - he loves us anyway. The fact that I'm so hard on myself is probably the part he doesn't like...

Long story short, I'm going on a 90 day "challenge". During this challenge I'm evaluating my eating habits, exercise habits, spiritual habits and emotional habits. I don't consider myself to be overweight, but I do consider myself to be nutritionally "bored" and I desperately need to start spicing things up with more fruits, vegetables and meats. I'm going to continue with my daily devotions for moms - these are 1 minute devotions and it knocks out 3 things that I love - bible versus, explanation and prayer - all in less than 1 minute! Perfect way to end the day. I'm keeping a journal of all these things too.

I'm also not drinking during this challenge. Another long story short, I went out with friends the other night and got a swift kick in the rear reminder that my liver is drastically different now than it was in college. I struggle with alcohol and how it fits into my life - I enjoy wine in moderation - don't consider myself to have a drinking problem - but, regardless, I think it will help me focus on this challenge better if it's just not incorporated into my life (right now).

The reason I feel this challenge is necessary is because I want to learn something about myself. I want to grow in all these areas of my life and I want to be a better person, inside and out. I desperately wish I could volunteer or do or give things to other people, but right now I simply don't have the time and at least during this challenge I will hopefully just be a good example to my children because ultimately, that's all that matters to me at the end of the day.

I will be blogging about this challenge - guaranteed - and the discoveries that I make during it. I can't guarantee it will be everyday, but I will try to provide weekly updates. My hope is that this challenge isn't really much of a challenge for me - but encourages me to do, be and stay better.

Challenge ends April 21st.

Stay tuned!