::God Moment::

WOW - What a crazy week it's been.

I had my revelation last week that I was going to start making a more conscious effort to just enjoy my life and all things in it as much as I can and jump at opportunities when I want to and take chances. Seriously, I can't even begin to explain the blessings that I've received just in the past week in accepting this new mode of thought and living my life. It's seriously like God has told me, "Finally! You get it! Just trust me and everything will be alright!"

Starting with last Friday... Not going to lie, I've been contemplating becoming a stay-at-home-mom and the thought has been circling my mind for some time now. I think it has been there because I've been a little unhappy with the "love" I've been feeling from my current employer. Sometimes I seriously feel like I work my tail off (as I'm blogging at work - HA - this is ironic... But, seriously, I do work hard!) and I'm the only one that wants to see us grow and try to change things up and I never get rewarded for my momentum or vision or optimism around here... I know, I know, ya'll are like, "Join the club!" But, it was seriously messing with my mind and was making me start to think that I should leave my career behind. Everything changed when I got a job offer from another company last Friday...

A guy that I've met a few times out at meetings and conferences called me (for the second time, I might add) to offer me a job. Long story short, the job was a "promotion" when it comes to pay (about $20,000 promotion), but was a "demotion" when it came to the job duties. I did write him off on it because I don't want to take a step back in my career. I like being in the sales and marketing seat and being more on the "front lines" of a company rather than "behind the scenes". I flat out told him I thought I was overqualified for the position he was offering me and that I was smarter than what the job entailed. That being said, I mentioned to him that the compensation piece was enticing to me. I have a family to consider and sometimes you just have to make sacrifices when it comes to finances when you're married and have children...

Luke and I discussed the opportunity and he agreed that I would most likely be unhappy taking a step back in my career. He knows that I want to grow and that the opportunities at my current company are allowing me to do that and it has opened doors that have been amazing for me. We both agreed it would seem a bit "unethical" in a way to leave now, especially since I just completed working on our new website, name change and new "brand" to hopefully take our company to the next level when it comes to business and sales prospecting. Leave now? Are you crazy? It just didn't seem right.

But, I couldn't shake this other offer. Maybe it was the money that was making my mind hazy and causing me to question. I couldn't help it! So, I wrote a personal email to the guy that made the offer to me telling him that I'd like to hear more about the company - the pay, the benefits, the atmosphere around there and most importantly, my opportunity for growth there.

Here it comes - This was The God Moment...

That same day that I emailed the guy, I had a conference call scheduled with my boss for 2:00 PM. He's traveling right now and the chances of him calling me on time for a conference call anyway are slim to none. So, here I am at my desk, knowing that he probably wont' call me until 3:00 or later, then all of a sudden, the phone rings at 2:01 PM. It was him! Amazing! He called on time! I was considering giving him some grief about this, but we got to talking and got right down to business. I was needing his approval on some new materials that I'm ordering coinciding with our company name change (business cards, letterhead, envelopes, etc.). When we got done talking about that he said he had one other thing that he wanted to discuss with me. The conversation went something like this:

Boss: I have one more thing I'd like to discuss with you. Normally I'd wait until I was back in the office, but thought we could discuss it now...
Me: (STOMACH TURNING! SO NERVOUS!) Ok, what is it?
Boss: I just wanted to tell you that I think you're doing a great job, you're a great asset to our team, blah, blah, blah, (More nice things, feeding my ego)...
Me: Wow, thank you, that's very nice of you, I really appreciate you saying these things... (At this point I'm expecting him to deliver bad news, like, although you're doing a great job, you can improve here or you should stop doing this or you should stop blogging at work... something along those lines).
Boss: Since you've been doing such a great job, I'd like to offer you additional compensation of $7,000 to your base salary.
Me: (HOLDING BACK TEARS OF JOY AND EXCITEMENT) Wow, that's unbelieveable! Thank you so much! This is so great, THANK YOU!
Boss: You're welcome. You deserve it. I just love the work that you're doing. Keep up the good work.

GOD. IS. SO. GOOD. If that wasn't a sign to stay put at my job, I don't know what is!

And so, tonight, I plan to sip some champagne with my family to celebrate my wonderful news and people let me tell you, this raise came at the perfect time. We've got one little guy going to start montisorri school in the next month and our other little guy going back to daycare full time because Luke's going back to work. I know money isn't everything, but let's face it, you do need it!

To conclude, I have been blessed this week. I'm so grateful to God for providing me a job that I have the ability to grow. I'm grateful to my employer for seeing value in the work that I do. I'm grateful to my husband who is supportive of my career. I'm happy that I can stay with my company for the time being and hopefully, keep this going!

Happy Friday ya'll!

Employment Trends

I received a newsletter today at work with some interesting information about employment trends in the United States. Some news was good, but most of it was very disheartening and once again, it made me sad to think that my generation, Gen Y, is in such a terrible state when it comes to getting a job and/or how they are perceived as being a part of the workforce.

Here are some of the facts:

1. Dating in the workplace is losing its taboo status with 38% of workers admitting to dating a coworker at least once in their career. My own parents met in the workplace and their offices were next to  each other for 30 years! Awww... Adorbs. And to top it, over a whopping 18% of these folks admit to dating their supervisor! Scandalous! This takes mixing "business with pleasure" to a whole different level, am I right or am I right? (Research was conducted by CareerBuilder - 2/9/2012).
2. According to managers and HR professionals in the workplace, "professionalism" is extremely poor, especially among young employees. David Polk, PhD, whose firm conducted this study stated, "Business and HR professionals say young employees need to learn to conform to "current standards" of professionalism rather than the standards be modified in response to larger society changes." The top four qualities associated with unprofessionalism are appearance, lack of dedication, attitude of entitlement and a poor work ethic. (Research was conducted by York College - 1/2012)
3. The majority of individuals are increasingly unhappy with their current job position. Over 60% of respondents said they were actively looking for their next job, and only 11.7% said they were really happy with their current job. 19% reported that their job wasn't awful, but not great, and nearly 4% said they weren't sure how much longer they could tolerate their current employer. (Research conducted by The Ladders - 2/10/2012).
4. Fewer young adults have jobs now than any other time since World War II. According to a Pew Research Center report, 45.7% of people between the ages of 18 and 24 are unemployed, with the employment gap between young adults and other adults at an all-time high of almost 15%. While college attendance is part of this equation, the fall in employment has not corresponded with increased enrollment. This trend has caused many young adults to postpone marriage, delay having children and move back in with their parents. (CNN - 2/9/2012).

So once again, it's with a heavy heart that I have to express some deep concern for my generation. What is wrong with our society that we're not learning how to behave in the workplace and be taken seriously as a professional and more importantly, that we can't seem to find a way to give our young folks a chance in the job market.

I wrote a post a while back on some more input regarding this trend among Gen-Y... I'd love to start an internship program at my job or even work with young people some day to try and offer guidance on getting into the professional realm and build a career for themselves.

Tough stuff to read about, but hopefully someday I can help make a difference.

Happy Tuesday!

So Yeah, I Took a Break...

OMG are my eyes deceiving me? Is that JustAnotherMrs. on my blog-roll? Didn't think she was even blogging any more...

OK, OK, so maybe you didn't even miss me while I was gone, but I did take a little break from the blogging world. My last post was a bit dramatic and I talked about transitioning through thoughts and phases that I'm going through right now in my life and I've discovered that I need to stop taking life so damn seriously all the time.

I think I've had a stick up my butt for the past couple of months and I'm not sure why. Am I unhappy with myself? Am I unhappy with others? Am I unhappy with my job? Am I unhappy with my friends? What is it?!?! And then it dawned on me... You are in control of you. I CONTROL HOW I FEEL ABOUT ALL THESE ASPECTS IN MY LIFE. PERIOD.

So, instead of bothering around with the whole 90 day challenge to healthiness and betterness (if that's even a word) and instead of worrying about everything I eat or how much I work out or what everyone else may think - I'm going to start doing whatever the hell I want to do. I'm going to start eating whatever I want to eat when I want to eat it. I'm going to have a drink if I want to have a drink. I'm going to go for a long run if I want to go for a long run. I'm going to go out with a friend if I need to connect with a female point of view. I'm going to spend more time doing fun things with my kids. I'm going to arrange to have more alone time and date nights with my husband.

I'm going to just live and be me and enjoy my life as much as I can.

If there's anything I've been reflecting on this past week, it's that you only live once and I don't want to look back and say - man, I wish I would have done more of X or Y or Z when I had the chance.

Example: The other night my son wanted me to get down on the carpet with him and play cars. It was already past his bedtime and normally I would have been all mommy-mode and made him put his toys away and honor "bed time". And you know what I did instead? I did something completely unlike my normal self - I let him stay up and play - I played with him - then when he was ready, we put the cars away, put in a movie and snuggled together on the couch. I WANT MORE OF THESE PRECIOUS MOMENTS.

Another Example: We've been taking the kids to the YMCA to go swimming at least once every week and then we usually go out for dinner afterwards. Normally Luke and I are pretty frugal with our money and NEVER go out to eat, unless it's a date night - which let's be honest, those with children understand that those are far and few between... But, we've both pulled the stick out of our butts on this one and we go out and enjoy it! And our kids do too! Yes, they may be a bit embarassing because they're excited to be out and Jacob may cry a little and annoy others around us, but you know what? I love every second.

This weekend I'm throwing a surprise birthday party for my husband. I'm so excited to be planning this for him and it's been so much fun coordinating with his friends and thinking of ways to get him out of the house and it's amazing to see how people respond and want to be involved. I just love it. Luke and I need to connect with our friends more! They all miss us so much, I mean, my God, we're married and have children, we're not old grandma's and grandpa's!!!!

Bottom Line: This woman is a happy one and I think I am  FINALLY comfortable and at ease with who I am, including my flaws.

Take it or leave it.

Woo hoo! Happy Friday ya'll!!

::Transitioning::

Wow, I think I've officially hit a mid-mid-life crisis as of late.

I have so many thoughts and emotions running through my mind that I seriously never thought could be true about myself. Most notably, I've seriously contemplated walking away from my career and staying at home with my kids and having more children. Also notable, I want to dedicate more time to socializing and getting my kids involved with our new community in Hudson.



Please note, I have no interest in being this...

 I know, I know... You're all thinking I want to be some soccer, super-mom, and hey, maybe I do, but...


I'd want to be more like this... OMG off the shoulder top + skinny's = HAWT :)














The other things stirring in my heart is to just be more involved in our community with other mom's and dad's and with other people that have kids.

Newsflash: Luke and I got married a lot sooner than any of our friends and we have kids on top of that. I seriously have no girlfriends that I can talk to that can relate to me and my lifestyle. And it sucks. I'm not saying that I can't talk to my girlfriends, I love them and right now they are my escape from reality when I need it, but I've noticed that my husband and I, as much as we love each other, are suffocating each other because we aren't involved in anything and aren't doing anything and we have no one else to talk to besides our parents that understand where we're at in life. Pathetic? Yes, please - with a side of a little depressing.

Tonight we are going to join the YMCA so we can at least get our family involved at an athletic facility. Not to mention the YMCA is a non-profit and all proceeds go back to the building, making it better for the community - I like this.

But, other than this - we have no outlet for ourselves or for our kids right now. They will start daycare in the coming months when Luke goes back to work, but again, we're all SUFFOCATING EACH OTHER RIGHT NOW.

We have to get out.
We have to get involved.
Or I'm seriously going to lose my mind.

I need a book club or a mom's night out  or a toddler time club or a church group - anything. I'm not giving up until I find something for myself and for my kids at least... My coworker already offered to let Luke join his softball team and I'm definitely taking him up on that and Luke said he'd love it too. It sounds like a bunch of dudes that love to drink beer, they're all married and they all have kids. BINGO - that's Luke to a "T"! Luke needs in on that. Plus he loves sports and rocks at softball. As Charlie Sheen would say - ::winning:: -

My life is soo boring right now and I'm not learning or growing or brining any substance to any table - I feel like I've become a piece of stale, old bread or something - I just need to get more involved and be more active in the community with other people, not just by myself running or working out or going to work. Everyday is starting to feel like the movie Groundhog Day and although it's comfortable and I like my routine, holy balls I need some friggin' fun and excitement in my life right now. Something STIMULATING.

I have no clue how to talk about this with Luke without hurting his feelings, but I know for a fact he's just as bored as I am right now. We're young, we're healthy and we're friggin' losin' our minds sittin' around the house all the time.

Phew. I feel better already just blogging about it.

Later, dudes and dudets.

The Teenage Mind

I read an article yesterday afternoon in the Wall Street Journal over my lunch hour about the teenage mind. The article went into scientific explanations about why so many teenagers and young adults...

a. Make dumb decisions even though they are "book smart" and have all the facts and fully know the consequences of their actions. Example: A young girl knows that if she has unprotected sex, she could get pregnant, but does it anyway and finds herself pregnant.

b. Seem to be wandering aimlessly through much of their 20's and unable to settle down or establish themselves physically or emotionally. Example: Most young Americans are unmarried until their late 20's, even early 30's and are waiting longer and longer to have children, if having children at all.

The scientific explanation of this was the delayed development of the frontal cortex of the brain - which is the portion of the brain involved in decision making, particularly decision making that comes from rational explanations we reach on our own from things such as past experiences. Bottom line being, experiences form us and teach us about what to do and what not to do. How can we actually know the truth unless we try it ourselves?

For years now our high schools and colleges have been preaching to us to get a "well-rounded" education, hence the reason for taking your "generals" prior to actually getting into the nitty-gritty of your chosen major, which by the time you get through your "generals" you don't even know if you want to pursue your chosen major anymore because you've had so many other ideas thrown at you...

This "well-rounded" education is making us smarter, yes, no doubt about that, but it's causing serious delay of this crucial development in the brain because no one is getting any experience nor do our institutes of education require any experience until senior year, which is usually in the form of an internship that lasts less than 6 months - well, laddy-friggin'-da - see how a 6 month internship looks on a resume for getting a "real" job - no one will give a hoot.

My generation in particular, "Gen-Y", has been most affected by this educational phenom. People are in college and have no clue what they want to do with their lives because they aren't getting and hands-on experience in college. Some are smart and start internships or job shadowing early on, but most aren't so lucky.

Not only is the job experience seriously lacking, the emotional commitments are also lacking with many roaming from mate to mate, dating a lot of different people, but never really diving in deep enough to make a serious commitment either because they don't know how to commit or they just simply don't want to be emotionally involved. I think there are a lot of different reasons for this development, none really convinced me in the article, but I'm sure it does have something to do with this delayed development of the frontal cortex since we are remaining more "emotionally immature" as a result.

An interesting read to say the least...

All for now - hopefully I've provided some interseting insight for your Tuesday!

Need. To. Vent.

My best friend's family is seriously going too far with taking advantage of her. I can't take it anymore. If she doesn't say something I'm honestly contemplating having a heart-to-heart with her mother and older sister myself.

For privacy purposes in honor of my friend, she is referred to as "Sharon" in my blog. I've noted this in a past entry that I refer to her as "Sharon" because she resemles the character "Sharon" on my favorite soap opera The Young and The Restless. The. Best. Soap. Ever.

History: Sharon's mom moved in with her and boyfriend almost 1 year ago. She had lost her job, times are tough right now in the economy and she needed a place to live. Sharon's boyfriend agreed to have her mom come and move in at no cost to her until she could afford to pay them, then eventually get out and find her own place. In the past year, Sharon has not only provided and paid for a place for her mom to live, she has also given her money to put gas into her car, pay her bills, buy food and even provided spending money. Not only has Sharon been doing these things for her mom, but she's been doing these things for her older sister too.

Sharon's mom found a job and has been working for a while now, maybe 6 months, and has found her own place to live and plans to move in March 1st. She also made the decision to go back to school and is collecting student loans, some of the loan money is going to go toward paying for her new place to live.

Sharon's older sister is also back in school down south - Sharon's mom has been paying for everything for her older sister (phone, $400 per month car payment, spending money, gas, you name it) because she can't find a job down at school. Because of this, Sharon's mom still has no money to support herself because every cent she's earning is going toward Sharon's older sister, and as a result, Sharon is left paying for her mom, basically providing for her mom, and her sister some too if her mom can't afford something.

Sharon told me this morning that she is so close to just saying, "Screw it" and walking away from everything (boyfriend included because obviously this whole situation has put a major damper on their relationship) and let her family figure their own situations out for themselves. For pete's sake they are friggin' adults! What is going on here?!?

However, Sharon has too kind of heart to do this to her family. I'm trying to encourage her to seriously talk to them and say how much she loves them and wants to help them, but she has emotional, physical and mental limits! She's being stretched way too thin right now.

She had 2 lines crossed this morning by her mom and sister:

1. Mom asked if Sharon could pay for her deposit at her new place. Really? How are you thinking you can afford rent if you can't pay for your deposit? Her mom even had the nerve to say to her (something along the lines of), "What's the big deal? Don't you have that money in your savings?" - Yes, Sharon does, but it's HER SAVINGS.
2. Her sister told Sharon this morning that she's going to use some of the money from her tax return to go on a spring break trip with her friends from school to New Orleans (and not to say anything to their mom about it). Really? How about putting your family first and paying them back some of the money you owe them OR better yet, SAVING THE MONEY to start paying some of your own bills?

You guys, I'm at my wits end here. On top of all this, both mom and sister have (what sounds like) terrible spending habits (i.e. going out to eat, purchasing things out of their means, etc.). I love Sharon, and I love her family too, but they are seriously really taking advantage of her right now.

I advised her to talk to them about what's she's feeling before she says or does something she regrets and that her family doesn't see coming. At least if she tells them that she's at her wits end and they need to figure their lives out or she's cutting them off, they know what's coming...

Thoughts?

Day 1 of 90 - {{New Leaf}}

"Faith is a journey, not a guilt trip."

I saw this quote yesterday driving home from picking up my son at my parent's house. I seriously felt like it was speaking to me when I saw it. Do you ever have those moments in life where you think, "WOW! That sign or quote or whatever it may be was literally made just for me at that moment?"

I have to say that being a Christian is sometimes really tough for me. I feel like I have a constant battle in my emotional and physical well-being. I like to drink, sometimes too much, I love food, also sometimes too much of it, I curse on occasion, I don't always love my neighbor as I love myself and I'm really selfish sometimes. For all these reasons I feel guilty a lot and I feel really crappy about myself. I constantly think that I'm not good enough. I'm not a good enough wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend - you name it - because of these short-comings. But, if you know anything about having faith or what the bible tells us, Jesus knows that we're all sinners and guess what - he loves us anyway. The fact that I'm so hard on myself is probably the part he doesn't like...

Long story short, I'm going on a 90 day "challenge". During this challenge I'm evaluating my eating habits, exercise habits, spiritual habits and emotional habits. I don't consider myself to be overweight, but I do consider myself to be nutritionally "bored" and I desperately need to start spicing things up with more fruits, vegetables and meats. I'm going to continue with my daily devotions for moms - these are 1 minute devotions and it knocks out 3 things that I love - bible versus, explanation and prayer - all in less than 1 minute! Perfect way to end the day. I'm keeping a journal of all these things too.

I'm also not drinking during this challenge. Another long story short, I went out with friends the other night and got a swift kick in the rear reminder that my liver is drastically different now than it was in college. I struggle with alcohol and how it fits into my life - I enjoy wine in moderation - don't consider myself to have a drinking problem - but, regardless, I think it will help me focus on this challenge better if it's just not incorporated into my life (right now).

The reason I feel this challenge is necessary is because I want to learn something about myself. I want to grow in all these areas of my life and I want to be a better person, inside and out. I desperately wish I could volunteer or do or give things to other people, but right now I simply don't have the time and at least during this challenge I will hopefully just be a good example to my children because ultimately, that's all that matters to me at the end of the day.

I will be blogging about this challenge - guaranteed - and the discoveries that I make during it. I can't guarantee it will be everyday, but I will try to provide weekly updates. My hope is that this challenge isn't really much of a challenge for me - but encourages me to do, be and stay better.

Challenge ends April 21st.

Stay tuned!