This week has been a bit dramatic, but also life-changing for my best friend. She may not view it that way, but I've known her for years and I can honestly say that she has come leaps and bounds in the area of self-esteem and self-worth, and this week was just another step in the right direction.
If my best friend is reading my blog, she may kill me that I'm exposing her life so, for the sake of anonymity, I'm going to call her Sharon; which is quite fitting because she resembles Sharon from the soap opera that I watch (Young and the Restless on week-daily at 11:00 AM on Channel 4, tune in, it's SO awesome. But, be warned, it's horribly addicting).
Sharon called me on Monday after Christmas and told me that she got into it with her family over the holiday. She proceeded to tell me that she literally had a mental/psychotic/crazy/bitch-fest breakdown at them and I could tell she was feeling some remorse about it.
Normally this wouldn't be the biggest deal in the world, but Sharon's family (her mom and her sister) are living with Sharon, in her boyfriend's home with her and her boyfriend, for little to no cost. Her mom has been there for almost a year, maybe longer, I don't remember exactly, and her sister just stays with them when she's home for visits from college.
Please note: I love Sharon's mom and sister dearly. I've known her for years and she has always been there for me in transitions in my life, in many ways, they're like a mother and sister to me too. And the thoughts I'm expressing are merely out of the frustration and hurt I feel in my heart because of the frustration and hurt my best friend is feeling.
Sharon has done everything she can for her mom, and some for her sister too, but mainly the most for her mom as of late. She has given her a place to live. Her boyfriend agreed to let her stay with them, for little to no cost to her, and Sharon even took on a second job in the past year to help her mom pay some of her bills. Some would say that Sharon has basically been a mother to her own mother. It would be one thing if she was disabled or needed help or care, but that isn't the case here.
At any rate, over the holidays, Sharon had had enough. She freaked. And in my opinion, it's been WAY OVERDUE. As a result, her mom and sister are moving out of her home. Not to say they won't be back for a visit, but they aren't going to live there anymore.
The main reason I wanted to blog about this whole thing was not to expose anything negative or bad about Sharon or her family, but it was to mainly talk about how proud I am of my best friend.
I've known Sharon for 13 years and we have been best friends for most of those years (minus a few years in high school that we weren't close for a while). We've been through hell and back together, we've learned some tough life lessons, we've laughed, we've cried, we've made a million mistakes and fallen flat on our faces, but through it all, we've been there for each other.
This breakdown that she had was seriously a huge milestone for her. Sometimes, not always, Sharon won't express her feelings. She's really good at holding things in and she can keep it in as long as she has time by herself to sort of cope and self-talk and calm herself down. The fact that her family was pushing her that day and wouldn't leave her alone caused her to freak out and have the breakdown.
Some might say this sounds crazy or psychotic, but I think it's a step in the right direction of self-love and appreciation. She expressed how she felt! She told them her thoughts and feelings and the ugly truth! Even though it hurt them and she probably could have composed herself better throughout the whole thing, at least she said SOMETHING. She freed her mind.
When she called me I could hear the regret in her tone as she told me the story, but I tried to assure her that what she did and how she reacted was number one, human, she was pushed to the edge of reason, and number two, that I was proud of her for expressing her feelings. She's seemed better and stronger this week because of it. She got a burden off her shoulders and thoughts off her mind.
Is there anything better than letting something out that you've been keeping in for SO LONG??? No. There isn't. It brings emotional, physical, mental and spiritual relief.
We've all been there, we've all freaked out or lost our cool - feel free to share your own story if you wish...
Friday, December 30, 2011
Sunday, December 25, 2011
This Christmas
I am blogging from my amazing new iPad and had to share that this christmas was the best one I can remember. Words cannot possibly express how much love I have for my family.
I wish all a happy and healthy remainder of this magical day and I promise my next post won't be this sappy or short!
Merry christmas to all and to all a good night!!
I wish all a happy and healthy remainder of this magical day and I promise my next post won't be this sappy or short!
Merry christmas to all and to all a good night!!
Thursday, December 22, 2011
Boys & Girls
So, I need some feedback regarding the ever-debated question, "Can boys and girls truly ever just be 'friends'??"
This week has been an interesting one for me and this topic has come up on two occasions this week. The first with my B.I.L. and his close girl-FRIEND. They truly are just best friends and that's it. But, their relationship is quite interesting to an outsider because they literally look like boyfriend/girlfriend. In a way, it's SUPER cool. They are cuddle buddies, rely on each other for anything and everything, she can talk about anything she wants and she absolutely loves/adores/is his biggest fan, but again, they are just friends. She actually dates and is totally in love (real "LOVE") with his best friend (and no, for those of you who are wondering or making assumptions, my B.I.L. is NOT homosexual, not that there would be anything wrong with it if he were anyway, but he isn't).
Is this weird?
I don't know. It works for them and I happen to think it's pretty damn cool. Especially since she's one of the sweetest, coolest, nicest girls ever - no drama - and if she would happen to become my "sister" someday, I'd be cool with that. However, the chances of that happening are really slim and either way, I'm sure she'll always be a part of our lives because of their friendship.
But, I have to wonder - Is this normal?
Over the years I've tried to be friends with guys. And honestly, it was normally always a jealous boyfriend that got in the way of those friendships. That's where the B.I.L. and his girl-FRIEND are so lucky, her boyfriend is totally cool with this close friendship. Being a girl, let's be honest here ladies, we get dramatic. What I always loved about a boy-FRIEND is that they could normally cool my jets and give it to me straight and challenge me to think more like a guy. This seriously helped me in a lot of hard times when I went through life transitions in high school and college. Another great aspect of having a boy-FRIEND, again, from a female perspective, is they're always looking out for your best interests and typically won't stab you in the back. Girl-FRIENDS on the other hand can sometimes be your worst influence and are more likely to stab you in the back at some point....
The other aspect of my life this week where this question has come up is with me personally and a guy I work with. He started at my office last October (2010) and we've gotten really close because we go on several meetings together and he's on my "team" in our office. He is 30, married to a sweet, beautiful lady and they have 2 kids, boy and girl. So right off the bat we have a ton in common. I'm married and have two kids also. We also both love to run, golf, go to movies, enjoy adult beverages and share our stories from college, marriage, etc. We normally don't talk about anything real serious, it's usually pretty light, casual and fun conversation. He never lets a holiday go by without a gift or a lunch outing/happy hour - He basically is just an awesome guy and has become a great friend or seriously my first, "buddy". I think guy-FRIENDS are buddies.
I have to wonder though, if the shoe were on the other foot - would I be OK if Luke had a friend like this? Truthfully, I don't know how would react to it, but I can say that I trust Luke more than anybody. A female friend probably wouldn't be such a bad thing for him because maybe she'd convince him to buy more flowers and gifts or bottles of wine for me! I can honestly say that my buddy has helped me to cool my jets with the usual female drama and getting mad at Luke over stupid stuff- or as my dad would say, the "ant shit vs. elephant shit" things in life. I hear him talk about things his wife does or says and it helps me to look at myself and moderate my own behavior towards my husband.
In my 26 years, here is where I know and believe I draw the line on what's OK and what's not with boys and girls being just "friends" - if these things are done, I think that it's more than friends and the intentions of this friendship, with one party or the other, may be different than just having an innocent friendship:
In my opinion, boys and girls can play nice together and we can be friends, but I think we do need to be careful. People talk, people assume and people are sensitive. Even someone like Luke that appears all tough, I'm still always conscious of his feelings and am careful. I think that's important.
Anyway, enough about boys and girls for now... Life continues to show me things and I so enjoy blogging about them!!
This week has been an interesting one for me and this topic has come up on two occasions this week. The first with my B.I.L. and his close girl-FRIEND. They truly are just best friends and that's it. But, their relationship is quite interesting to an outsider because they literally look like boyfriend/girlfriend. In a way, it's SUPER cool. They are cuddle buddies, rely on each other for anything and everything, she can talk about anything she wants and she absolutely loves/adores/is his biggest fan, but again, they are just friends. She actually dates and is totally in love (real "LOVE") with his best friend (and no, for those of you who are wondering or making assumptions, my B.I.L. is NOT homosexual, not that there would be anything wrong with it if he were anyway, but he isn't).
Is this weird?
I don't know. It works for them and I happen to think it's pretty damn cool. Especially since she's one of the sweetest, coolest, nicest girls ever - no drama - and if she would happen to become my "sister" someday, I'd be cool with that. However, the chances of that happening are really slim and either way, I'm sure she'll always be a part of our lives because of their friendship.
But, I have to wonder - Is this normal?
Over the years I've tried to be friends with guys. And honestly, it was normally always a jealous boyfriend that got in the way of those friendships. That's where the B.I.L. and his girl-FRIEND are so lucky, her boyfriend is totally cool with this close friendship. Being a girl, let's be honest here ladies, we get dramatic. What I always loved about a boy-FRIEND is that they could normally cool my jets and give it to me straight and challenge me to think more like a guy. This seriously helped me in a lot of hard times when I went through life transitions in high school and college. Another great aspect of having a boy-FRIEND, again, from a female perspective, is they're always looking out for your best interests and typically won't stab you in the back. Girl-FRIENDS on the other hand can sometimes be your worst influence and are more likely to stab you in the back at some point....
The other aspect of my life this week where this question has come up is with me personally and a guy I work with. He started at my office last October (2010) and we've gotten really close because we go on several meetings together and he's on my "team" in our office. He is 30, married to a sweet, beautiful lady and they have 2 kids, boy and girl. So right off the bat we have a ton in common. I'm married and have two kids also. We also both love to run, golf, go to movies, enjoy adult beverages and share our stories from college, marriage, etc. We normally don't talk about anything real serious, it's usually pretty light, casual and fun conversation. He never lets a holiday go by without a gift or a lunch outing/happy hour - He basically is just an awesome guy and has become a great friend or seriously my first, "buddy". I think guy-FRIENDS are buddies.
I have to wonder though, if the shoe were on the other foot - would I be OK if Luke had a friend like this? Truthfully, I don't know how would react to it, but I can say that I trust Luke more than anybody. A female friend probably wouldn't be such a bad thing for him because maybe she'd convince him to buy more flowers and gifts or bottles of wine for me! I can honestly say that my buddy has helped me to cool my jets with the usual female drama and getting mad at Luke over stupid stuff- or as my dad would say, the "ant shit vs. elephant shit" things in life. I hear him talk about things his wife does or says and it helps me to look at myself and moderate my own behavior towards my husband.
In my 26 years, here is where I know and believe I draw the line on what's OK and what's not with boys and girls being just "friends" - if these things are done, I think that it's more than friends and the intentions of this friendship, with one party or the other, may be different than just having an innocent friendship:
- You do, say or act more comfortably with this "friend" than you would your partner or spouse. If you are telling this friend secrets about you or anyone else that you feel you couldn't tell your partner or spouse, this is a serious problem. You should trust your partner or spouse more than anyone, that's why you chose to make them your partner or spouse. The same goes for any actions with this person. If you don't feel comfortable acting like yourself or doing things you feel comfortable doing around your partner or spouse - there's a problem and clearly an elephant in the room that needs to be addressed.
- You say, "I love you," to this person. I'm sure there is some debate about this, but I just don't think it's appropriate to be throwing around these 3 words. I'm sure you do "love" this person, but don't say it like that. "Love" should be reserved for your partner or spouse and be exclusive.
- You talk to and pay attention more to this person more than your partner or spouse when they are both around you. I don't care how cool or how un-jealous someone is toward the friendship, this just isn't cool. Again, I'm sure there is popular debate about this, but to me, seems like a no-brainer. If Luke were paying more attention to another female all night long at some event, I would be pissed and not afraid to admit it.
- You would rather hang out or go do stuff with this "friend" than your partner or spouse. This is a given. If you would rather go see that "must see" movie or shop or go out to eat or go grab a drink with this boy or girl-FRIEND rather than your partner or spouse, again, elephant in the room that needs to be talked about. One of the most important factors in any relationship is your ability to go play together! If your partner or spouse doesn't want to go play and you like to go play, you may need to consider addressing this issue.
- You constantly talk about this person to your partner or spouse. This is just annoying. Don't do it and if you have a lot to say about the person, wonderful, tell it to your mom or a girlfriend or guyfriend that won't care or have hurt feelings about your overflow of information about this person.
In my opinion, boys and girls can play nice together and we can be friends, but I think we do need to be careful. People talk, people assume and people are sensitive. Even someone like Luke that appears all tough, I'm still always conscious of his feelings and am careful. I think that's important.
Anyway, enough about boys and girls for now... Life continues to show me things and I so enjoy blogging about them!!
Thursday, December 15, 2011
What's In It For Me?
So, still being a "newbie" in blogger world, I am still introducing myself and who I am and all that good stuff. Everytime I blog I feel like I'm revealing something new about myself to the world and it's really fun; so here we go... Another "getting to know Just Another Mrs." a little better.
In case you're stumbling across this page for the first time and didn't bother looking at my sidebar or reading through my archives, I am a mother of two young boys, Colt (2) and Jake (8 months). On top of this full-time job of being a Mama, I also work at SecuraDI Consultants as Director of Business Development. Now, contrary to most, I really love my job and let me tell you why:
I love my boys so much. More than I ever thought I would. I know that sounds weird, but before your a mom, deep down you're not ever sure if you even want to be a mom and then when you are, you can't imagine life before you weren't a mom. I would do anything for my kids. And when I leave them in the morning, my heart breaks everyday. I wonder if they dislike me for leaving them. I wonder if they'll always remember me leaving them when they get older. As I continue to advance at my job, which I love and makes me happy, I wonder if they'll only remember that mommy came home late a lot.
These fears honestly cripple me when I think about them. Sometimes I think I should quit my job and stay home and raise them. Sometimes I even get dirty looks from other moms that stay home because ladies, let's be honest, when it comes to working moms and stay at home moms, it's very "us" and "them", it's never "we" - but, I guess nothing ever is in the land of females. Can we ever just all get along for heaven's sake? (That's another blog entirely...).
When I think about being a stay at home mom, I really don't know if I could do it. Working is a part of who I am and it's what I love to do. I want to succeed and I want to be successful in this world. I want to help people and I want to make a difference and in my company I have a chance to do all of those things.
When the boys get older and go off to school and eventually leave home, not to be selfish here but, what the hell would I do with myself then? If I stay home with my kids and quit my job, honestly, when it's all said and done, what's in it for me?
This is selfish to say, I know - there would be PLENTY in it for me - I wouldn't miss a single moment of their lives and that alone would be completely priceless. But, I would be giving away a piece of myself and sacrificing a piece of myself that I don't know I could mentally or physically. To not be working and give up my dream of having a career of my own is something that I am in no place to do.
But, in this life, can you really have it all? Can I be the best mom I can be and the best employee I can be? Probably not, being a mom will always come first. If I have a sick child, I have to care for them. If my child is begging me to stay home and I have enough PTO, I might stay home and work remotely when I have the chance throughout the day.
Once again, life continues to show me things that I never thought I'd have to deal with emotionally, physically, mentally or spiritually, but I guess that's what they call being an adult, right?
Please, stay-at-home mom's, avoid being to critical of me chasing my American Dream...
In case you're stumbling across this page for the first time and didn't bother looking at my sidebar or reading through my archives, I am a mother of two young boys, Colt (2) and Jake (8 months). On top of this full-time job of being a Mama, I also work at SecuraDI Consultants as Director of Business Development. Now, contrary to most, I really love my job and let me tell you why:
- I am not micro-managed. I don't have someone breathing down my neck or telling me what to do. As long as I'm getting my work done, typically there are no complaints from "the boss man".
- The owners of my company have a second home in South Carolina which creates for an even more "lax" work environment since they travel back and forth for weeks, even months at a time.
- I'm
one ofthe only female in my office that doesn't have "assistant" behind her title. (Yes, I am tooting my own horn here, sorry!!!!). - I don't have any issues with having to leave work at the drop of a hat and believe me, this is awesome considering I have two small children whose immune systems are still getting built up.
- I get to get out of the office and socialize, attend important meetings and give input to the direction our company is going.
I love my boys so much. More than I ever thought I would. I know that sounds weird, but before your a mom, deep down you're not ever sure if you even want to be a mom and then when you are, you can't imagine life before you weren't a mom. I would do anything for my kids. And when I leave them in the morning, my heart breaks everyday. I wonder if they dislike me for leaving them. I wonder if they'll always remember me leaving them when they get older. As I continue to advance at my job, which I love and makes me happy, I wonder if they'll only remember that mommy came home late a lot.
These fears honestly cripple me when I think about them. Sometimes I think I should quit my job and stay home and raise them. Sometimes I even get dirty looks from other moms that stay home because ladies, let's be honest, when it comes to working moms and stay at home moms, it's very "us" and "them", it's never "we" - but, I guess nothing ever is in the land of females. Can we ever just all get along for heaven's sake? (That's another blog entirely...).
When I think about being a stay at home mom, I really don't know if I could do it. Working is a part of who I am and it's what I love to do. I want to succeed and I want to be successful in this world. I want to help people and I want to make a difference and in my company I have a chance to do all of those things.
When the boys get older and go off to school and eventually leave home, not to be selfish here but, what the hell would I do with myself then? If I stay home with my kids and quit my job, honestly, when it's all said and done, what's in it for me?
This is selfish to say, I know - there would be PLENTY in it for me - I wouldn't miss a single moment of their lives and that alone would be completely priceless. But, I would be giving away a piece of myself and sacrificing a piece of myself that I don't know I could mentally or physically. To not be working and give up my dream of having a career of my own is something that I am in no place to do.
But, in this life, can you really have it all? Can I be the best mom I can be and the best employee I can be? Probably not, being a mom will always come first. If I have a sick child, I have to care for them. If my child is begging me to stay home and I have enough PTO, I might stay home and work remotely when I have the chance throughout the day.
Once again, life continues to show me things that I never thought I'd have to deal with emotionally, physically, mentally or spiritually, but I guess that's what they call being an adult, right?
Please, stay-at-home mom's, avoid being to critical of me chasing my American Dream...
Monday, December 12, 2011
Absolutes for 2012
2011 was a year of a lot of growth in my life, physically, mentally, spiritually and emotionally. It was also a year full of bittersweet events. We experienced a lot of loss, but we had an amazing gain and blessing with the birth of our son, Jacob.
One thing that I am not too proud of this year was the way I chose to handle stressful situations. Whether it was at home, work or personal stress, I usually chose to handle it by having a drink or hitting the pavement. And trust me, I've made every excuse in the book to justify choosing these outlets. But, as the popular saying goes about excuses, they are like butts, everyone's got 'em and they all stink.
Drinking alcohol has been a part of my life for as long as I can remember. I grew up around it, I grew up drinking it and I've been in my share of trouble because of it - nothing drastic - I know what you're thinking. Although I in no way consider myself an alcoholic, I think I have a genetic disposition to enjoy adult beverages more than most. I also think I have a genetic disposition to think oddly towards those that don't drink. Yes, I think you're weird. Sorry.
One thing about alcohol that I don't like though is, like I said earlier, although it's good and although it's fun, it's not going to solve any problems, make anybody wiser or anybody richer or whatever you may be looking for. In fact, you're more likely to end up crying into your cocktail at the end of the night as you use it as an outlet - not like I know.... Regardless, 2012 I've decided is the year I truly only use alcohol to further enhance an already enjoyable situation (i.e. special occasions, celebrations or holidays). Period.
Running has also been a part of my life for as long as I can remember. Ever since I got called fat on the bus ride home from school in 9th grade. I learned that calories were important and exercise will keep your ass in shape and I surprisingly fell in love with running. In fact, running is sort of like a drug for me. My husband will literally tell me to go run on days he can tell I haven't gotten out in a few or if something seems to be really upsetting me, "OK, Go Run Sweetie..." - Just one of the million reasons why I love him, he lets me do what he knows I love and what helps me find Zen calm. Since we had Jacob, running has really taken a back seat in my life. It's tough to find time to hit the road when you have two babies at home! And waking up at 5AM to go for a run just doesn't happen everyday because I get too run down. Running, working full time, raising two kids, cooking, cleaning, there just aren't enough hours in the day nor are there enough "healthy" defenders running through my body to allow me to do that.
So, I know you're saying to yourself, big deal? She likes to run. But, sometimes I let my need to run take over my life. I put it before everything. My kids. My husband. JUST. NEED. TO. RUN. Now, it's not like I'm not taking care of my kids because I need to run, that's not what I'm saying, I'm just saying my mind goes there and I have trouble coming back from it unless I just go do it. 2012 will be the year I gain control of this addiction. Not sure how I'm going to do it yet, but none-the-less, either I'm going to make time or get on a schedule that allows me to do it, maintain my priorities and keep my sanity...
Even though sometimes I need a break from both my husband and my kids, don't think badly of me, I'm just being honest and if you say you don't need a break you're full of fooey, I want to try to be the very best wife and the very best mother I can possibly be to them. They are my everything and each everyday I want to show that. 2012 will be the year I step this up a notch and keep it there.
I want to eat healthier. There's a reason why all the experts tell us to eat more fruits and vegetables and some days I lay in bed and go, I didn't eat a single fruit or vegetable all day today!!! Unacceptable. I need to be a better example so in 2012, this makes the list too.
I'm standing up for my beliefs more. If someting isn't in line with what I believe or what kind of a person I want to be, I'm going to say or do something about it. I'm sure lots more blogging to come on this one...
And last, but certainly not least in 2012, I want to be a better friend. The past month or so I have made an effort to get together with a friend at least once a week and I tell you what, I am so much happier! I was making all kinds of excuses to not see my friends before - too busy, too long since we've seen each other, they don't understand my life now, blah, blah, blah. Clearly 2011 was also a year of bad excuses. There's a reason why you have a connection with people and I'm going to do a better job of maintaining mine...
Obviously I know I'm not a perfect person and I know that I may not stick to all these absolutes perfectly, but hey, I'm trying and I'm going to really make an effort to practice everything I'm preaching about here today.
Happy (almost) 2012 - I wish nothing but the best to whomever is reading my rantings :) :)
One thing that I am not too proud of this year was the way I chose to handle stressful situations. Whether it was at home, work or personal stress, I usually chose to handle it by having a drink or hitting the pavement. And trust me, I've made every excuse in the book to justify choosing these outlets. But, as the popular saying goes about excuses, they are like butts, everyone's got 'em and they all stink.
Drinking alcohol has been a part of my life for as long as I can remember. I grew up around it, I grew up drinking it and I've been in my share of trouble because of it - nothing drastic - I know what you're thinking. Although I in no way consider myself an alcoholic, I think I have a genetic disposition to enjoy adult beverages more than most. I also think I have a genetic disposition to think oddly towards those that don't drink. Yes, I think you're weird. Sorry.
One thing about alcohol that I don't like though is, like I said earlier, although it's good and although it's fun, it's not going to solve any problems, make anybody wiser or anybody richer or whatever you may be looking for. In fact, you're more likely to end up crying into your cocktail at the end of the night as you use it as an outlet - not like I know.... Regardless, 2012 I've decided is the year I truly only use alcohol to further enhance an already enjoyable situation (i.e. special occasions, celebrations or holidays). Period.
Running has also been a part of my life for as long as I can remember. Ever since I got called fat on the bus ride home from school in 9th grade. I learned that calories were important and exercise will keep your ass in shape and I surprisingly fell in love with running. In fact, running is sort of like a drug for me. My husband will literally tell me to go run on days he can tell I haven't gotten out in a few or if something seems to be really upsetting me, "OK, Go Run Sweetie..." - Just one of the million reasons why I love him, he lets me do what he knows I love and what helps me find Zen calm. Since we had Jacob, running has really taken a back seat in my life. It's tough to find time to hit the road when you have two babies at home! And waking up at 5AM to go for a run just doesn't happen everyday because I get too run down. Running, working full time, raising two kids, cooking, cleaning, there just aren't enough hours in the day nor are there enough "healthy" defenders running through my body to allow me to do that.
So, I know you're saying to yourself, big deal? She likes to run. But, sometimes I let my need to run take over my life. I put it before everything. My kids. My husband. JUST. NEED. TO. RUN. Now, it's not like I'm not taking care of my kids because I need to run, that's not what I'm saying, I'm just saying my mind goes there and I have trouble coming back from it unless I just go do it. 2012 will be the year I gain control of this addiction. Not sure how I'm going to do it yet, but none-the-less, either I'm going to make time or get on a schedule that allows me to do it, maintain my priorities and keep my sanity...
Even though sometimes I need a break from both my husband and my kids, don't think badly of me, I'm just being honest and if you say you don't need a break you're full of fooey, I want to try to be the very best wife and the very best mother I can possibly be to them. They are my everything and each everyday I want to show that. 2012 will be the year I step this up a notch and keep it there.
I want to eat healthier. There's a reason why all the experts tell us to eat more fruits and vegetables and some days I lay in bed and go, I didn't eat a single fruit or vegetable all day today!!! Unacceptable. I need to be a better example so in 2012, this makes the list too.
I'm standing up for my beliefs more. If someting isn't in line with what I believe or what kind of a person I want to be, I'm going to say or do something about it. I'm sure lots more blogging to come on this one...
And last, but certainly not least in 2012, I want to be a better friend. The past month or so I have made an effort to get together with a friend at least once a week and I tell you what, I am so much happier! I was making all kinds of excuses to not see my friends before - too busy, too long since we've seen each other, they don't understand my life now, blah, blah, blah. Clearly 2011 was also a year of bad excuses. There's a reason why you have a connection with people and I'm going to do a better job of maintaining mine...
Obviously I know I'm not a perfect person and I know that I may not stick to all these absolutes perfectly, but hey, I'm trying and I'm going to really make an effort to practice everything I'm preaching about here today.
Happy (almost) 2012 - I wish nothing but the best to whomever is reading my rantings :) :)
Thursday, December 8, 2011
Colder Weather
She ran through the cold.
Hair blowing in the wind.
So young, wild and free.
She came through the door, they locked eyes and grinned.
Love at first sight.
Who knew they'd say forever?
Separate lives came together.
Never fearing the colder weather.
Spring turned to summer.
Lives were changed, choices made.
The fall came too quick.
They said goodbye, but it didn't fade.
Love at first sight.
Who knew they'd say forever?
Separate lives came together.
Never fearing the colder weather.
Sleepless nights and empty hearts.
A call. A message. A sign.
Winter came back to greet them again-
Back together, it was only a matter of time.
Love at first sight.
Who knew they'd say forever?
Separate lives came together.
Never fearing the colder weather.
Time passed.
Laughs. Cries. Obstacles in their way.
Can we make it?
I don't know, she started to stray.
He wanted her back.
Her answer was no.
He didn't ever give up.
He wouldn't let her go.
Love at first sight.
Who knew they'd say forever?
Separate lives came together.
Never fearing the colder weather.
The walls came down.
Emotions set free.
He got on his knee.
He gave her a ring.
Love at first sight.
Who knew they'd say forever?
Separate lives came together.
Never fearing the colder weather.
They said their vows with family and friends.
They love to reminise of the days that have passed.
Memories so bright, moments forever cherished.
Now with two little boys, who knew they'd be parents?
We fell in love at first sight.
Who knew we'd say forever?
Completely separate lives, now come together.
Fearlessly, relentlessly, come warm or colder weather.
Some people hate the winter.
Despise the colder weather.
We love this time of year.
We met, we loved and said "I Do" in December... <3
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
A Look Back...
A co-worker was kind enough to share this site with me. Male, female - I don't care, get your kleenex because these pictures will move you to tears.
Ladies and Gentleman, 2011 was a hard year for our state, our country and our world. We have to come together and love, support and cherish one another....
http://www.buzzfeed.com/mjs538/the-most-powerful-photos-of-2011
Enjoy.
Ladies and Gentleman, 2011 was a hard year for our state, our country and our world. We have to come together and love, support and cherish one another....
http://www.buzzfeed.com/mjs538/the-most-powerful-photos-of-2011
Enjoy.
Saturday, December 3, 2011
Gen Y - My Generation
As of late, I've been reading a lot of disheartening news about my generation (Gen Y). Most notably the following statistics really saddened me:
Now, there are some people that look for someone to blame for the bleak situation of my generation. So, let's try pointing some fingers...
Maybe we can blame our parents for sheltering us too much from the cruel, hard ways of the world because let's be honest, life was a helluva lot easier when we were 5 versus being 25.
Maybe we can blame our high schools for preaching to us to GO TO COLLEGE! A GOOD COLLEGE! And get an education. NOBODY mentioned that when we're finished we'll have 6 months, then it's HELLO, you're $50,000+++ in debt because you HAD TO GO TO COLLEGE TO GET A GOOD JOB. Which, by the way, is a buncha fooey. Do you really need a college education to get an entry level admin job? Get real.
Maybe we can blame the job market for requiring a college education to get even the most basic of jobs these days.
Regardless of blaming anyone, there is something seriously messed up with the way our society is raising it's youth right now. Luke and I have SO MUCH DEBT from student loans it's ridiculous. AND Although I was lucky to get a job after I was done with college, Luke couldn't! He finally had to settle for a teaching assistant job just to do something and get some job to start some kind of experience besides "construction".
What's worse, the better paying jobs won't hire you unless you have 5,7,10+ years of experience. But hey, how the hell can I get this "experience" if I can't get a job??? And so, we have a generation either...
a. Unemployed.
b. Working as a server or bartender.
c. Going back to school - collecting more debt.
d. Working in a job position where they're underpaid, under appreciated and OVER educated.
This is a sad, sad state to be in. Trust me, I am normally a happy-go-lucky optimist and I'm starting to really lose hope. My husband and I are overflowing with debt, have two children, health care costs are through the roof and we're on an HDHP to keep premium costs low, we're making "too much money" to be eligible for any kind of help from the state or anybody that has a program, so basically we're the "working poor" or America's new version of "the middle class".
Here's a few things I can tell you about my generation.
1. We are SO SMART.
2. We are well informed.
3. We know how to use Google better than anybody. Be warned.
4. We take multi-tasking to a WHOLE different level.
5. We are well educated - book smart or street smart or both, we know things.
6. We're resourceful. I've managed to put an amazing dinner together with chicken noodle soup, flour and bisquick.
7. We're independent.
8. We're healthy. Most of the youngin's in my office read labels, go organic or pick the green over the starch.
9. We may be young, but we weren't born yesterday.
10. We don't like being told what to do.
For those of you that are my age or a Gen Y'er and are having a tough time with life, your circumstance, whatever, hang in there... Unfortunately, it may get worse before it gets better, but like everything else in this life we will pull through it TOGETHER and we will bring this country back to a sensible place.
For those of you that aren't my age or a Gen Y'er - Infamous words from The Who:
- Only 56% of those who work say they're covered by some form of health plan.
- Just 58% pay their monthly bills on time.
- Nearly 70% of Gen Y is not building up a cash cushion, and 56% of those who work admit they have not done anything to build retirement or financial security.
- Credit card debt is high, with 43% carrying too much debt on their cards. The average Gen Y holds three credit cards, with 20% of them carrying a balance of more than $10,000.
- They are the least likely of any generation to own their own homes.
Now, there are some people that look for someone to blame for the bleak situation of my generation. So, let's try pointing some fingers...
Maybe we can blame our parents for sheltering us too much from the cruel, hard ways of the world because let's be honest, life was a helluva lot easier when we were 5 versus being 25.
Maybe we can blame our high schools for preaching to us to GO TO COLLEGE! A GOOD COLLEGE! And get an education. NOBODY mentioned that when we're finished we'll have 6 months, then it's HELLO, you're $50,000+++ in debt because you HAD TO GO TO COLLEGE TO GET A GOOD JOB. Which, by the way, is a buncha fooey. Do you really need a college education to get an entry level admin job? Get real.
Maybe we can blame the job market for requiring a college education to get even the most basic of jobs these days.
Regardless of blaming anyone, there is something seriously messed up with the way our society is raising it's youth right now. Luke and I have SO MUCH DEBT from student loans it's ridiculous. AND Although I was lucky to get a job after I was done with college, Luke couldn't! He finally had to settle for a teaching assistant job just to do something and get some job to start some kind of experience besides "construction".
What's worse, the better paying jobs won't hire you unless you have 5,7,10+ years of experience. But hey, how the hell can I get this "experience" if I can't get a job??? And so, we have a generation either...
a. Unemployed.
b. Working as a server or bartender.
c. Going back to school - collecting more debt.
d. Working in a job position where they're underpaid, under appreciated and OVER educated.
This is a sad, sad state to be in. Trust me, I am normally a happy-go-lucky optimist and I'm starting to really lose hope. My husband and I are overflowing with debt, have two children, health care costs are through the roof and we're on an HDHP to keep premium costs low, we're making "too much money" to be eligible for any kind of help from the state or anybody that has a program, so basically we're the "working poor" or America's new version of "the middle class".
Here's a few things I can tell you about my generation.
1. We are SO SMART.
2. We are well informed.
3. We know how to use Google better than anybody. Be warned.
4. We take multi-tasking to a WHOLE different level.
5. We are well educated - book smart or street smart or both, we know things.
6. We're resourceful. I've managed to put an amazing dinner together with chicken noodle soup, flour and bisquick.
7. We're independent.
8. We're healthy. Most of the youngin's in my office read labels, go organic or pick the green over the starch.
9. We may be young, but we weren't born yesterday.
10. We don't like being told what to do.
For those of you that are my age or a Gen Y'er and are having a tough time with life, your circumstance, whatever, hang in there... Unfortunately, it may get worse before it gets better, but like everything else in this life we will pull through it TOGETHER and we will bring this country back to a sensible place.
For those of you that aren't my age or a Gen Y'er - Infamous words from The Who:
Why don't you all f-fade away
(Talkin' 'bout my generation)
Don't try to dig what we all s-s-say
(Talkin' 'bout my generation)
I'm not trying to cause a big s-s-sensation
(Talkin' 'bout my generation)
I'm just talkin' 'bout my g-g-generation
(Talkin' 'bout my generation)
My generation
This is my generation, baby
(Talkin' 'bout my generation)
Don't try to dig what we all s-s-say
(Talkin' 'bout my generation)
I'm not trying to cause a big s-s-sensation
(Talkin' 'bout my generation)
I'm just talkin' 'bout my g-g-generation
(Talkin' 'bout my generation)
My generation
This is my generation, baby
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
It's So Good!
ELEVEN Awesome Things That Happened To Me over Thanksgiving that I have to share because I'm feeling pretty good about it...:
- We discovered that Luke had over $2,600 in his accounts from his teaching job, tax free money, that could transfer into my HSA account to cover health care costs for this year for me and the boys.
- I ran 5 miles in 47 minutes in a Turkey Trot on Thanksgiving morning. Yep. I pretty much rock.
- Jacob has recovered from his ear infection and is back to his happy, bubbly self.
- I got to have date night with my husband TWICE this week. First time in over 2 months!
- I saw Breaking Dawn and it was amazing. Skeptics, shush your mouths.
- We saw Breaking Dawn for under $10 dollars. $3 tickets, $2 popcorn and $1 pop. I LOVE SMALL TOWN MOVIE THEATRES!
- I was told "I love you" and "You're family" by my father-in-law and my brother-in-law this weekend. Pretty cool.
- I got to spend an afternoon with my mother-in-law and found some awesome alphabet books for Colt at a thrift store for $2.00!
- Christmas music is playing on virtually every radio station right now. Enough said.
- I'm really excited to talk and learn more about becoming business owners for MB&Boys, Inc.
- For the first time in a long time, I finally believe Bob Marley when he sings, "Every little thing is gonna be alright...."
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
Oswald Chambers
And once again, Oswald Chambers speaks amazing words today in this devotional. Even if you're not sure about the Christian faith, the bible, Jesus - whatever - today's lesson speaks wonders and for me, it's a friendly reminder that once again, I am no better than the person to my left or right, we get too caught up in our own problems and put ourselves first too often and of course, that God is in control... Hope you enjoy this even half as much as I did, and yes, I am passionate about sharing the words of God that speak to me with others, something that I'm new to...
If you're interested in learning more about Oswald Chambers and his ministry you can visit his website "My Utmost for His Highest" at http://utmost.org/. Oswald died back in 1917 at the age of 43, but his ministry lives on and is an inspiration to many.
11-22-2011
Whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God —1 Corinthians 10:31
Beware of allowing yourself to think that the shallow aspects of life are not ordained by God; they are ordained by Him equally as much as the profound. We sometimes refuse to be shallow, not out of our deep devotion to God but because we wish to impress other people with the fact that we are not shallow. This is a sure sign of spiritual pride. We must be careful, for this is how contempt for others is produced in our lives. And it causes us to be a walking rebuke to other people because they are more shallow than we are. Beware of posing as a profound person— God became a baby.
To be shallow is not a sign of being sinful, nor is shallowness an indication that there is no depth to your life at all— the ocean has a shore. Even the shallow things of life, such as eating and drinking, walking and talking, are ordained by God. These are all things our Lord did. He did them as the Son of God, and He said, “A disciple is not above his teacher . . .” (Matthew 10:24).
We are safeguarded by the shallow things of life. We have to live the surface, commonsense life in a commonsense way. Then when God gives us the deeper things, they are obviously separated from the shallow concerns. Never show the depth of your life to anyone but God. We are so nauseatingly serious, so desperately interested in our own character and reputation, we refuse to behave like Christians in the shallow concerns of life.
Make a determination to take no one seriously except God. You may find that the first person you must be the most critical with, as being the greatest fraud you have ever known, is yourself.
(Ahhh.... Such humbling words!!)
To be shallow is not a sign of being sinful, nor is shallowness an indication that there is no depth to your life at all— the ocean has a shore. Even the shallow things of life, such as eating and drinking, walking and talking, are ordained by God. These are all things our Lord did. He did them as the Son of God, and He said, “A disciple is not above his teacher . . .” (Matthew 10:24).
We are safeguarded by the shallow things of life. We have to live the surface, commonsense life in a commonsense way. Then when God gives us the deeper things, they are obviously separated from the shallow concerns. Never show the depth of your life to anyone but God. We are so nauseatingly serious, so desperately interested in our own character and reputation, we refuse to behave like Christians in the shallow concerns of life.
Make a determination to take no one seriously except God. You may find that the first person you must be the most critical with, as being the greatest fraud you have ever known, is yourself.
(Ahhh.... Such humbling words!!)
If you're interested in learning more about Oswald Chambers and his ministry you can visit his website "My Utmost for His Highest" at http://utmost.org/. Oswald died back in 1917 at the age of 43, but his ministry lives on and is an inspiration to many.
Monday, November 21, 2011
Let Your Heart BE Light
The holiday season is upon us. Whether you are a holiday lover or a holiday hater, it's the time of year where family comes together, we give gifts and we are (or try to be) thankful for another year.
For those of you that are "ba-hum-bug's" (and I know you're out there), I challenge you to take a new approach to the holidays this year and like the song says, let your heart BE light.
Now, before you go accusing me of being all goody and cheery and holiday merry-like, let me tell you, this year the holidays are met with great difficulty for my family. In the past year, Luke and I have lost 5 family members near and dear to our hearts and have faced financial hardships that are not uncommon to those in the middle class, but difficult none-the-less.
The first was my Uncle Doug (married to my dad's sister). Doug was a sweet, kind-hearted man. He used to play his guitar for us and we'd sing Christmas carols. He also made the best pancakes.
The second was my Grandma Cook (ma-mah). This loss came with such great sadness because not only did she pass away, but she passed away 2 weeks before I was due to have Jacob and I couldn't go to her funeral. Basically, I haven't really had any closure with her death yet and this time of year has been so hard and she's been in my thoughts so much. I miss you, Mamah.
The third was my Grandpa Steve. He wasn't my "real" Grandpa. But, he married my Grandma Cook when I was really little and he's basically the only Grandpa I've ever known. He was an army colonel and was a great, loyal and wonderful man to my Grandma. I miss him dearly. He always used to hug me so tight it would take my breath away! What a sweet man.
The fourth was Luke's Uncle Todd. This loss was extremely unexpected and a major loss for our family. He leaves behind his beautiful wife, Vicky, and two sons, Chase and Cole. I didn't know him well, but felt like I was just starting to really enjoy his company. Todd is greatly missed.
The fifth and I sure hope final, was Luke's Grandma, Val. There are not enough nice words in the dictionary to describe the kindess of this woman. She loved her family and she loved the Lord. She will forever be in my heart because when we got pregnant with Colton we had a world of judgement on our shoulders from family, friends, colleagues, you name it. When we came to tell them, Val brought out a picture of their wedding day and she said, "You see there, I was 5 months pregnant with Tammy (Luke's mom). The same thing was happening 50 years ago!". They were so happy and excited for us. I will never forget her and her kindness and I hope that I can be more like her.
On top of the losses, this year is tough because even though we're "home" with my mom and dad, we don't have our own home. Our Christmas decorations are packed away in our storage unit. Even though the boys are too little right now to remember where we are for this Christmas, in my heart I ache and long for a place of our own!
And as always with the holidays, the gift buying is always a challenge to do on a budget. But, we find a way to make it work.
2011 was tough. We lost loved ones. We lost our own home. And we've had financial hardships that are finally starting to come around a bit. But we were blessed with our healthy baby boy and that alone is enough to make it all better and all worth while.
So friends, I challenge you this holiday season to BE LIGHT. Forgive. Love. Forgive. Love. And let me warn you, this won't be the first holiday blogging....
I just enjoyed a holiday chocolate truffle. 120 calories down, only a few million more to go...
Happy Holidays!
For those of you that are "ba-hum-bug's" (and I know you're out there), I challenge you to take a new approach to the holidays this year and like the song says, let your heart BE light.
Now, before you go accusing me of being all goody and cheery and holiday merry-like, let me tell you, this year the holidays are met with great difficulty for my family. In the past year, Luke and I have lost 5 family members near and dear to our hearts and have faced financial hardships that are not uncommon to those in the middle class, but difficult none-the-less.
The first was my Uncle Doug (married to my dad's sister). Doug was a sweet, kind-hearted man. He used to play his guitar for us and we'd sing Christmas carols. He also made the best pancakes.
The second was my Grandma Cook (ma-mah). This loss came with such great sadness because not only did she pass away, but she passed away 2 weeks before I was due to have Jacob and I couldn't go to her funeral. Basically, I haven't really had any closure with her death yet and this time of year has been so hard and she's been in my thoughts so much. I miss you, Mamah.
The third was my Grandpa Steve. He wasn't my "real" Grandpa. But, he married my Grandma Cook when I was really little and he's basically the only Grandpa I've ever known. He was an army colonel and was a great, loyal and wonderful man to my Grandma. I miss him dearly. He always used to hug me so tight it would take my breath away! What a sweet man.
The fourth was Luke's Uncle Todd. This loss was extremely unexpected and a major loss for our family. He leaves behind his beautiful wife, Vicky, and two sons, Chase and Cole. I didn't know him well, but felt like I was just starting to really enjoy his company. Todd is greatly missed.
The fifth and I sure hope final, was Luke's Grandma, Val. There are not enough nice words in the dictionary to describe the kindess of this woman. She loved her family and she loved the Lord. She will forever be in my heart because when we got pregnant with Colton we had a world of judgement on our shoulders from family, friends, colleagues, you name it. When we came to tell them, Val brought out a picture of their wedding day and she said, "You see there, I was 5 months pregnant with Tammy (Luke's mom). The same thing was happening 50 years ago!". They were so happy and excited for us. I will never forget her and her kindness and I hope that I can be more like her.
On top of the losses, this year is tough because even though we're "home" with my mom and dad, we don't have our own home. Our Christmas decorations are packed away in our storage unit. Even though the boys are too little right now to remember where we are for this Christmas, in my heart I ache and long for a place of our own!
And as always with the holidays, the gift buying is always a challenge to do on a budget. But, we find a way to make it work.
2011 was tough. We lost loved ones. We lost our own home. And we've had financial hardships that are finally starting to come around a bit. But we were blessed with our healthy baby boy and that alone is enough to make it all better and all worth while.
So friends, I challenge you this holiday season to BE LIGHT. Forgive. Love. Forgive. Love. And let me warn you, this won't be the first holiday blogging....
I just enjoyed a holiday chocolate truffle. 120 calories down, only a few million more to go...
Happy Holidays!
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
You Are My Sunshine(s)
Jacob Mark (J, Ja-Co-B, Jake, Jakey) - Jacob is 7 months old and is known to many as a "mini-Dave" (my dad). I truly believe God gave us Jacob as a way of always keeping my dad with us because he knows that life without him will be too hard for all of us : ) Jacob is just like my dad. Always happy. Accepting of anyone. Loves to be loved, hugged, kissed. Adores his mama best of all. He is the sweetest, happiest baby. Hardly ever fusses and loves to eat and sleep.
Both the boys love the song "You Are My Sunshine" - I sing it frequently to both of them and they just stare into my eyes and smile. Colton will give kisses while I sing and say "Again!" when I finish, and Jacob just touches my face and giggles.
The song really says it all:
You Are My Sunshine
My Only Sunshine
You Make Me Happy When Skies Are Grey
You'll Never Know Dear How Much I Love You
Please Don't Take My Sunshine Away
Friday, November 11, 2011
Fun, Healthy Note
For those of you that don't know, at the time I became pregnant with our first son back in December of 2008 I was "living the dream" as they say. I was almost done with college. Loved my boyfriend. Partied every weekend with friends. Life was good.
Then bam. Along came Colton and life as we know it was never the same and we could never be more greatful for the blessing God gave us with the gift of both our sons.
Not what I came to blog about.
Anyway...
At the time I became pregnant with Colton I was 137 pounds. Some of you may say that sounds "normal", but I'm 5'2" - to me, that's a little on the hefty side. Needless to say, I was quite the curvy gal. I only gained about 12 pounds when I had Colt. Not because I wasn't eating, but I wasn't drinking, wasn't drinking fatty caffeinated beverages, wasn't eating junky food and I was walking constantly because it felt so good to walk and be healthy when I was pregnant! After he was born, I was down to 125 pounds. 12 pounds lighter than I was pre-pregnancy!
I kept up the same lifestyle after he was born. Tried to eat healthy, enjoyed PLAIN coffee vs. lattes, mochas, frappachinos and I started getting back into running. I even ran a 10 mile race with my brother in law! Go mama!
Then a few months later, I discovered I was pregnant with our second son, Jacob, just before my 25th birthday. We had just begun having discussions about trying for another child and my husband was thrilled, but in all honesty, I was selfish and terrified when I discovered we were pregnant again. I was loving going running all the time, enjoying a glass of wine or drinks with Luke on Friday nights after a long week... But, I managed to stay healthy throughout my pregnancy with Jacob. I got into Yoga and I physically and mentally enjoyed being pregnant so much more the second time around.
Same thing, I only gained about 18 pounds with Jacob. Not because I wasn't eating, but because I just wanted to BE HEALTHY!
Had Jacob. Beautiful, sweet baby J.
I am now a happy, healthy 118 pounds, 5'2" mama of 2 sons. I find that they make me want to be better. They make me want to be healthier. I want to keep up with them, run a race with them someday and show them that being healthy IS a lifestyle and taking good care of your body is important because it's the only one you've got.
Quote on my Green Tea bag today: "Books have the same nemies as people: fire, humidity, animals, weather and their own content" - Paul Valery.
Then bam. Along came Colton and life as we know it was never the same and we could never be more greatful for the blessing God gave us with the gift of both our sons.
Not what I came to blog about.
Anyway...
At the time I became pregnant with Colton I was 137 pounds. Some of you may say that sounds "normal", but I'm 5'2" - to me, that's a little on the hefty side. Needless to say, I was quite the curvy gal. I only gained about 12 pounds when I had Colt. Not because I wasn't eating, but I wasn't drinking, wasn't drinking fatty caffeinated beverages, wasn't eating junky food and I was walking constantly because it felt so good to walk and be healthy when I was pregnant! After he was born, I was down to 125 pounds. 12 pounds lighter than I was pre-pregnancy!
I kept up the same lifestyle after he was born. Tried to eat healthy, enjoyed PLAIN coffee vs. lattes, mochas, frappachinos and I started getting back into running. I even ran a 10 mile race with my brother in law! Go mama!
Then a few months later, I discovered I was pregnant with our second son, Jacob, just before my 25th birthday. We had just begun having discussions about trying for another child and my husband was thrilled, but in all honesty, I was selfish and terrified when I discovered we were pregnant again. I was loving going running all the time, enjoying a glass of wine or drinks with Luke on Friday nights after a long week... But, I managed to stay healthy throughout my pregnancy with Jacob. I got into Yoga and I physically and mentally enjoyed being pregnant so much more the second time around.
Same thing, I only gained about 18 pounds with Jacob. Not because I wasn't eating, but because I just wanted to BE HEALTHY!
Had Jacob. Beautiful, sweet baby J.
I am now a happy, healthy 118 pounds, 5'2" mama of 2 sons. I find that they make me want to be better. They make me want to be healthier. I want to keep up with them, run a race with them someday and show them that being healthy IS a lifestyle and taking good care of your body is important because it's the only one you've got.
Quote on my Green Tea bag today: "Books have the same nemies as people: fire, humidity, animals, weather and their own content" - Paul Valery.
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
Health Care Reform - A Much Needed Post
Briefly let me explain what it is I do and why I'm blogging today about Health Care Reform (which, actually, for those who don't know, it is called The Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act and was signed into law back in March 2010). I work at an insurance brokerage. I know I just lost some of you because I simply said the word insurance and nobody wants to talk about insurance (including my husband), but bear with me. Our brokerage focuses most specifically on disability insurance, long-term care insurance and employer sponsored ancillary benefits (lamen's terms: disability and life insurance products for EMPLOYERS to offer their EMPLOYEES). I personally work in the sales and marketing division and focus on employer sponsored products AND I also am now heading up our business development to try and grow our business as much as possible. Our company is the "middle man" between the insurance agent/financial planner/certified public accountant (CPA) and the client (you). We help agents find the very best solution for their client's needs and help them sell insurance coverage. That in a nutshell is what our company/I do.
Although my company doesn't have much to do with the health insurance industry, our agents do and we have to stay informed. I try to attend a seminar about changes to The Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act (ACA) every 2-3 months. I come home and tell my family about what I hear in these seminars and it is A M A Z I N G to me that most of the time they have NO CLUE about what's happening and my own mother even thought that Health Care Reform wasn't made into law yet!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Newsflash: It's been implemented for almost 2 YEARS now.
In mid-October, the government decided to drop a critical portion of the ACA called the CLASS (Community Living Assistance and Services) Act. What the heck is this? Put simply, the CLASS Act was a long-term care program that the government was plannig to set up that Americans could pay into to receive a daily benefit should they ever need long-term care services (nursing home, in-home care, etc.). This portion of the ACA was the government's attempt to address the care of our aging population and to encourage Americans to plan ahead for their future financial needs as they get older. Although the benefits were minimal ($100 per day or less, the national average cost of care per day is somewhere around $200) it was still a starting point. Not surprising to those of us in the industry, the program was deemed unsustainable by actuaries (Actuaries are individuals that study a financial product to determine its purpose and pricing model).
Kathleen Sebelius, Health and Human Services Secretary, sent a letter to congressional leaders indicating that she saw no way to implement this program. She states: "Despite our best analytical efforts, I do not see a viable path forward for CLASS implementation at this time. The challenge that CLASS was created to address is not going away. By 2020, we know that an estimated 15 MILLION AMERICANS will need some kind of long-term care." In other words, the government can't afford a ton of long-term care claims.
FACT: 70% of Americans will need long-term care after the age of 65. With limited coverage available with public programs, there is a good chance cost of care will come from our personal income and savings. The average cost of long-term care services in the United States in 2010 were:
Encourage those around you to stay informed. Read. Watch the news. Attend a seminar. Or simply visit this website: http://www.healthcare.gov/law/timeline/index.html (Note: It is government sponsored, so it will be all "happy and fluffy" regarding health care reform).
I mean, what if something happened to your mom or dad tomorrow? Could you afford to quit your job or relocate to take care of them? What if something happened to YOU tomorrow and you couldn't work anymore? How would you pay for your mortgage? How would you pay for childcare, or simply put food on the table?
Nobody wants to think about these things, but they're questions that need answers. We're all living for longer with illnesses that may not have cures, but do have treatments.
Hopefully I've given you something to think about...
Although my company doesn't have much to do with the health insurance industry, our agents do and we have to stay informed. I try to attend a seminar about changes to The Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act (ACA) every 2-3 months. I come home and tell my family about what I hear in these seminars and it is A M A Z I N G to me that most of the time they have NO CLUE about what's happening and my own mother even thought that Health Care Reform wasn't made into law yet!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Newsflash: It's been implemented for almost 2 YEARS now.
In mid-October, the government decided to drop a critical portion of the ACA called the CLASS (Community Living Assistance and Services) Act. What the heck is this? Put simply, the CLASS Act was a long-term care program that the government was plannig to set up that Americans could pay into to receive a daily benefit should they ever need long-term care services (nursing home, in-home care, etc.). This portion of the ACA was the government's attempt to address the care of our aging population and to encourage Americans to plan ahead for their future financial needs as they get older. Although the benefits were minimal ($100 per day or less, the national average cost of care per day is somewhere around $200) it was still a starting point. Not surprising to those of us in the industry, the program was deemed unsustainable by actuaries (Actuaries are individuals that study a financial product to determine its purpose and pricing model).
Kathleen Sebelius, Health and Human Services Secretary, sent a letter to congressional leaders indicating that she saw no way to implement this program. She states: "Despite our best analytical efforts, I do not see a viable path forward for CLASS implementation at this time. The challenge that CLASS was created to address is not going away. By 2020, we know that an estimated 15 MILLION AMERICANS will need some kind of long-term care." In other words, the government can't afford a ton of long-term care claims.
FACT: 70% of Americans will need long-term care after the age of 65. With limited coverage available with public programs, there is a good chance cost of care will come from our personal income and savings. The average cost of long-term care services in the United States in 2010 were:
- $205 per day or $6,235 per month for a semi-private room in a nursing home.
- $229 per day or $6,965 per month for a private room in a nursing home.
- $3,293 per month for care in an assisted living facility (for a one-bedroom unit).
- $21 per hour for a home health aide.
- $19 per hour for homemaker services.
- $67 per day for services in an adult day health care center.
Encourage those around you to stay informed. Read. Watch the news. Attend a seminar. Or simply visit this website: http://www.healthcare.gov/law/timeline/index.html (Note: It is government sponsored, so it will be all "happy and fluffy" regarding health care reform).
I mean, what if something happened to your mom or dad tomorrow? Could you afford to quit your job or relocate to take care of them? What if something happened to YOU tomorrow and you couldn't work anymore? How would you pay for your mortgage? How would you pay for childcare, or simply put food on the table?
Nobody wants to think about these things, but they're questions that need answers. We're all living for longer with illnesses that may not have cures, but do have treatments.
Hopefully I've given you something to think about...
Monday, November 7, 2011
Old Friends Vs. New Friends
We all have them - friends that we call "friends" because we've known each other forever and have managed to stay in touch through high school, college, boyfriends, 21st birthdays - you name it, they've made it through with you.
Then, there are our new friends. Those we either met in college and have stayed in touch with or those we've found through the workplace.
The question I've been struggling with lately is not necessarily who is better, but more importantly, who is more loyal?
True - the tendency is to assume the old friend because well - they're an "old" friend and have been there with you through it all. Well, no offense here but, who the heck cares? Honestly, lately I've been pretty disappointed in my relationships with my oldest friends. We aren't making time for each other, haven't called to talk to each other, or even send a text to see how each other is doing. In fact, I've flat out not returned calls and vice versa. Question is: Why is this happening?
I think there is a lot more leniency with the "old" friend. Well, we can just see each other another time, we always manage to see each other at some point! OR, I or he/she is more likely to be understanding because we've known each other for so long. There is no one willing to plan a meeting ahead of time anymore - where as, new friends tend to want to schedule - even a month in advance! Which works better for me personally since I have a husband and 2 children...
Regardless, friendships are work. Just like any other relationship. And they take two. Or three or four or however many friends are in your circle, clique, whatever.
I feel useless sometimes as a friend too because honestly, my life is boring. It's routine. I have no drama, no cool stories, nothing interesting to report - Sometimes I feel like my days are like the movie "Groundhog Day" and every now and then, it gets to switch up if I do something special with Luke or a fun activity with the kids.
I feel like newer friends are more accepting of my boring life. Sometimes I feel like old friends still expect me to be who I once was or my "old" self, which just isn't the case.
I don't know - Life, once again, you continue to show me things that sometimes I don't like, but I also know that everything happens for a reason.
I guess this saying says it all...
"One loyal friend is worth ten thousand relatives."
- Euripides, Greek playwrite
Then, there are our new friends. Those we either met in college and have stayed in touch with or those we've found through the workplace.
The question I've been struggling with lately is not necessarily who is better, but more importantly, who is more loyal?
True - the tendency is to assume the old friend because well - they're an "old" friend and have been there with you through it all. Well, no offense here but, who the heck cares? Honestly, lately I've been pretty disappointed in my relationships with my oldest friends. We aren't making time for each other, haven't called to talk to each other, or even send a text to see how each other is doing. In fact, I've flat out not returned calls and vice versa. Question is: Why is this happening?
I think there is a lot more leniency with the "old" friend. Well, we can just see each other another time, we always manage to see each other at some point! OR, I or he/she is more likely to be understanding because we've known each other for so long. There is no one willing to plan a meeting ahead of time anymore - where as, new friends tend to want to schedule - even a month in advance! Which works better for me personally since I have a husband and 2 children...
Regardless, friendships are work. Just like any other relationship. And they take two. Or three or four or however many friends are in your circle, clique, whatever.
I feel useless sometimes as a friend too because honestly, my life is boring. It's routine. I have no drama, no cool stories, nothing interesting to report - Sometimes I feel like my days are like the movie "Groundhog Day" and every now and then, it gets to switch up if I do something special with Luke or a fun activity with the kids.
I feel like newer friends are more accepting of my boring life. Sometimes I feel like old friends still expect me to be who I once was or my "old" self, which just isn't the case.
I don't know - Life, once again, you continue to show me things that sometimes I don't like, but I also know that everything happens for a reason.
I guess this saying says it all...
"One loyal friend is worth ten thousand relatives."
- Euripides, Greek playwrite
Thursday, November 3, 2011
Routine
5:31 A.M. Wake up in a cold bed. Alone.
Push snooze once, maybe twice.
5:40 A.M. Jump out of bed. Freezing.
Quiet! Don't wake the baby!
Shower.
Warmer.
Lotion.
Make-up.
Hair. Ugh. Forget the hair. Twist. Up.
Quiet! Don't wake the toddler!
Tip-toe downstairs.
Dress in the dark.
Quiet!
Turn on the lights. Wake the baby.
He stretches. I change him. Dress him. Happiness.
Upstairs.
Wake the toddler.
He stretches. Whines. I change him. Dress him. Happiness.
Everybody downstairs.
Coffee. Lunch. Jackets. Mittens. Carseat. Purse. Keys.
Into the Car.
Carseats.
Seatbelts.
Gone.
Daycare.
Jackets. Mittens. Carseat. We need diapers. Mental note.
Car.
Drive to work.
Enjoy my coffee.
Enjoy the silence.
Sometimes prayer.
Work.
Climb the stairs.
Emails. Meetings. Phone calls. Polite conversations. Thoughts. Spreadsheets.
Lunch.
Emails. Meetings Phone calls. Polite conversations. Thoughts. Spreadsheets.
4:00 P.M. Go Home.
Daycare. Jackets. Mittens. Carseat. More polite conversation. Kisses. Hugs.
Car.
Drive home.
Jackets. Mittens. Carseat. Purse. Bags.
Into the house.
Play. Play. Play.
Make dinner.
Eat dinner.
Play. Play. Play.
Bathtime. Bubbles. Laughs. Hugs. Happiness.
Play. Play. Play.
Bedtime. Bottle. Books. Songs. Kisses. Hugs. Happiness.
Silence.
T.V.? Movie?
Silence.
Relaxation.
Into Bed.
Don't forget diapers.
Repeat Daily.
Starting to wonder where you are in all this.
Miss you. Love you.
Push snooze once, maybe twice.
5:40 A.M. Jump out of bed. Freezing.
Quiet! Don't wake the baby!
Shower.
Warmer.
Lotion.
Make-up.
Hair. Ugh. Forget the hair. Twist. Up.
Quiet! Don't wake the toddler!
Tip-toe downstairs.
Dress in the dark.
Quiet!
Turn on the lights. Wake the baby.
He stretches. I change him. Dress him. Happiness.
Upstairs.
Wake the toddler.
He stretches. Whines. I change him. Dress him. Happiness.
Everybody downstairs.
Coffee. Lunch. Jackets. Mittens. Carseat. Purse. Keys.
Into the Car.
Carseats.
Seatbelts.
Gone.
Daycare.
Jackets. Mittens. Carseat. We need diapers. Mental note.
Car.
Drive to work.
Enjoy my coffee.
Enjoy the silence.
Sometimes prayer.
Work.
Climb the stairs.
Emails. Meetings. Phone calls. Polite conversations. Thoughts. Spreadsheets.
Lunch.
Emails. Meetings Phone calls. Polite conversations. Thoughts. Spreadsheets.
4:00 P.M. Go Home.
Daycare. Jackets. Mittens. Carseat. More polite conversation. Kisses. Hugs.
Car.
Drive home.
Jackets. Mittens. Carseat. Purse. Bags.
Into the house.
Play. Play. Play.
Make dinner.
Eat dinner.
Play. Play. Play.
Bathtime. Bubbles. Laughs. Hugs. Happiness.
Play. Play. Play.
Bedtime. Bottle. Books. Songs. Kisses. Hugs. Happiness.
Silence.
T.V.? Movie?
Silence.
Relaxation.
Into Bed.
Don't forget diapers.
Repeat Daily.
Starting to wonder where you are in all this.
Miss you. Love you.
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
The Other Half
Not surprising to most, but I happen to be one of the youngest employees in my office and in my industry. I had the opportunity yesterday to go out to lunch with a sales representative, one of his team mates and my own "boss". All of which are 5-15 years old than I am and have also been married 5-15 years longer than I have. Exception: I have been a mom longer than one of them, but, that still makes me "more immature" I suppose in their eyes since it's probably blatently obvious that at least one of my pregnancies was unplanned (which hey, since we're being honest here, it was).
The conversation got on the topic of marriage and being comfortable in your marriage. Comfortable enough to "not care" what your in-laws think about you. It's been a long time since I genuinely cared what others thought about me. All those cares seem to go out the window at some point in college I suppose, but in truth, I still REALLY care how my in-laws perceive me.
Why is this?
Maybe it's because deep down I know they will never think I'm not good enough for their son? I know I will probably feel that way when our sons bring home "the one" for the first time. I mean, is anyone ever going to be truly good enough for your child? I don't know. I guess I'll find out when the time comes.
Or maybe it's because they do SO MUCH for our family. They give their love, their time, their money and their everything basically into loving us and caring about us.
I like the second option better.
Honestly, I don't ever want to stop caring what my in-laws think of me. Because when I do, or when anyone does stop caring, I can bet that they definitely don't care what their spouse thinks of them anymore... Am I right to have this assumption? I guess I'm in no shape to tell someone else how to live or how to act or how to be, but I just know that I never want to be someone that stops caring about anything or anyone that I marry or marry into.
You can bet if Luke started acting disrespectful toward or disregarding manners and basic courtesy toward anyone in my family he would hear about it. Pretty sure I'm expected to show the same towards him and his family...
But - yesterday when I voiced this I was perceived as "you're just not there yet". Well, newsflash for ya'll - I hope I never get "there". Because "there" didn't look like it was was a very good destination to be.
Oh, life - how you continue to teach me and show me new things that I don't always want to know or see....
The conversation got on the topic of marriage and being comfortable in your marriage. Comfortable enough to "not care" what your in-laws think about you. It's been a long time since I genuinely cared what others thought about me. All those cares seem to go out the window at some point in college I suppose, but in truth, I still REALLY care how my in-laws perceive me.
Why is this?
Maybe it's because deep down I know they will never think I'm not good enough for their son? I know I will probably feel that way when our sons bring home "the one" for the first time. I mean, is anyone ever going to be truly good enough for your child? I don't know. I guess I'll find out when the time comes.
Or maybe it's because they do SO MUCH for our family. They give their love, their time, their money and their everything basically into loving us and caring about us.
I like the second option better.
Honestly, I don't ever want to stop caring what my in-laws think of me. Because when I do, or when anyone does stop caring, I can bet that they definitely don't care what their spouse thinks of them anymore... Am I right to have this assumption? I guess I'm in no shape to tell someone else how to live or how to act or how to be, but I just know that I never want to be someone that stops caring about anything or anyone that I marry or marry into.
You can bet if Luke started acting disrespectful toward or disregarding manners and basic courtesy toward anyone in my family he would hear about it. Pretty sure I'm expected to show the same towards him and his family...
But - yesterday when I voiced this I was perceived as "you're just not there yet". Well, newsflash for ya'll - I hope I never get "there". Because "there" didn't look like it was was a very good destination to be.
Oh, life - how you continue to teach me and show me new things that I don't always want to know or see....
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
Experience Something Before You Speak
Ok, Ok, so I haven't been blogging lately. Try having a (newly) 2-year-old and an (almost) 6-month-old by yourself most nights of the week, PLUS keeping up with laundry, houseword and oh yeah, making meals too. I know you're dying to trade places with me.
Anyway, I was compelled to blog about a recent article that I read that said "75% of married men cheat on their lives". Of that 75%, two-thirds of the wives are "completely clueless" of their husband's infidelities. This is one sad statistic.
Since I have the privilege of working with my best friend, I emailed the article to her for her input, she was equally disgusted and disappointed in the opposite sex... As our conversation about the article spread throughout the office, we had the wonderful opportunity to hear input from a fellow male co-worker.
Let me tell you, this co-worker is 29, single, living alone, attended a private high school and private college and is a RAGING tea-partyist (nothing against his political stance, just wanted to give you a little background on who we're talking to and he's the main reason I was motivated to blog).
He claimed that men and women will never understand each other. He said that he has married friends that go out to the bars and hit on/flirt with girls just to prove they've still got "it". He also informed us females in the office that men are always looking for the upgrade. They always want something more than or something better than what they currently have. And he told me, to my face, that the only reason Luke married me was because I was an "upgrade" to whatever he was currently doing or seeing. Continuing on his rant about males needing to "spread their seed", that Luke is a completely different person when I'm not around, blah, blah, blah, blah...
Dude, first of all, you're NOT MARRIED. Do not speak to me like you know all about the in's and out's of what goes into marriage, or a relationship for that matter. YOU ARE A SINGLE MALE LIVING ALONE. Also, don't proceed to tell me that you know my husband. You've met him once at a work party, do not associate him with your scummy friends because I sure as hell would have never married him if he was doing anything like that when I wasn't around and believe me, I would know if he was. We've been together for six years, living together for 3 years, married for 2 years and he's held my hand the entire way through both of the births of our sons, just like he'll be holding my hand until the day we die because we made a vow. We're on the same page. Don't put us into a box. Don't judge us. And for pete's sake, don't assume to know anything since you've NEVER experienced ANYTHING even remotely close to what we experience EVERYDAY.
Honestly, what is wrong with people? Before you can judge anything or any situation, EXPERIENCE IT. Then come talk to me, I'd be glad to share stories with you. Until then, shut. your. mouth.
Anyway, I was compelled to blog about a recent article that I read that said "75% of married men cheat on their lives". Of that 75%, two-thirds of the wives are "completely clueless" of their husband's infidelities. This is one sad statistic.
Since I have the privilege of working with my best friend, I emailed the article to her for her input, she was equally disgusted and disappointed in the opposite sex... As our conversation about the article spread throughout the office, we had the wonderful opportunity to hear input from a fellow male co-worker.
Let me tell you, this co-worker is 29, single, living alone, attended a private high school and private college and is a RAGING tea-partyist (nothing against his political stance, just wanted to give you a little background on who we're talking to and he's the main reason I was motivated to blog).
He claimed that men and women will never understand each other. He said that he has married friends that go out to the bars and hit on/flirt with girls just to prove they've still got "it". He also informed us females in the office that men are always looking for the upgrade. They always want something more than or something better than what they currently have. And he told me, to my face, that the only reason Luke married me was because I was an "upgrade" to whatever he was currently doing or seeing. Continuing on his rant about males needing to "spread their seed", that Luke is a completely different person when I'm not around, blah, blah, blah, blah...
Dude, first of all, you're NOT MARRIED. Do not speak to me like you know all about the in's and out's of what goes into marriage, or a relationship for that matter. YOU ARE A SINGLE MALE LIVING ALONE. Also, don't proceed to tell me that you know my husband. You've met him once at a work party, do not associate him with your scummy friends because I sure as hell would have never married him if he was doing anything like that when I wasn't around and believe me, I would know if he was. We've been together for six years, living together for 3 years, married for 2 years and he's held my hand the entire way through both of the births of our sons, just like he'll be holding my hand until the day we die because we made a vow. We're on the same page. Don't put us into a box. Don't judge us. And for pete's sake, don't assume to know anything since you've NEVER experienced ANYTHING even remotely close to what we experience EVERYDAY.
Honestly, what is wrong with people? Before you can judge anything or any situation, EXPERIENCE IT. Then come talk to me, I'd be glad to share stories with you. Until then, shut. your. mouth.
Friday, September 2, 2011
Heartbreak Warfare
John Mayer speaks wonders in this song...
Lightning strikes
Inside, my chest to keep me up at night
Dream of ways
To make you understand my pain
Clouds of sulfur in the air
Bombs are falling everywhere
It's heartbreak warfare
Once you want it to begin,
No one really ever wins
In heartbreak warfare
If you want more love,
why don't you say so?
If you want more love,
why don't you say so?
Drop his name
Push it in and twist the knife again
Watch my face
As I pretend to feel no pain
Clouds of sulfur in the air
Bombs are falling everywhere
It's heartbreak warfare
Once you want it to begin,
No one really ever wins
In heartbreak warfare.
If you want more love,
why don't you say so?
If you want more love,
why don't you say so?
Just say so...
How come the only way to know how high you get me
is to see how far I fall
God only knows how much I'd love you if you let me
but I can't break through at all.
It's a heartbreak...
I don't care if we don't sleep at all tonight
Let's just fix this whole thing now
I swear to God we're gonna get it right
If you lay your weapon down
Red wine and ambien
You're talking shit again, it's heartbreak warfare
Good to know it's all a game
Disappointment has a name, it's heartbreak, heartbreak.
It's heartbreak warfare.
It's heartbreak warfare.
It's heartbreak warfare.
Inside, my chest to keep me up at night
Dream of ways
To make you understand my pain
Clouds of sulfur in the air
Bombs are falling everywhere
It's heartbreak warfare
Once you want it to begin,
No one really ever wins
In heartbreak warfare
If you want more love,
why don't you say so?
If you want more love,
why don't you say so?
Drop his name
Push it in and twist the knife again
Watch my face
As I pretend to feel no pain
Clouds of sulfur in the air
Bombs are falling everywhere
It's heartbreak warfare
Once you want it to begin,
No one really ever wins
In heartbreak warfare.
If you want more love,
why don't you say so?
If you want more love,
why don't you say so?
Just say so...
How come the only way to know how high you get me
is to see how far I fall
God only knows how much I'd love you if you let me
but I can't break through at all.
It's a heartbreak...
I don't care if we don't sleep at all tonight
Let's just fix this whole thing now
I swear to God we're gonna get it right
If you lay your weapon down
Red wine and ambien
You're talking shit again, it's heartbreak warfare
Good to know it's all a game
Disappointment has a name, it's heartbreak, heartbreak.
It's heartbreak warfare.
It's heartbreak warfare.
It's heartbreak warfare.
Monday, August 29, 2011
Stay At Home Dad?... We Just Got One!
The Blodgett's are now the pround owners of a "stay at home dad". Not only will he be taking care of our little ones while I go to work, but I also see laundry and bathroom cleaning in his future (let's just keep this between us).
You may be asking yourself, "How did this happen?" Or, "Why aren't YOU staying home?" All good questions. Since this is MY blog and I can do what I want with it, I think I will tell you the non-Reader's Digest answers.
My husband (for the record, I dislike referring to him as that in conversation, I'd rather just call him by his name LUKE and so I will from this point on), was a teaching assistant at Harrison Education Center in Minneapolis Public School system for the past 2 years. He works with Emotional Behavioral Disorder (EBD) teenagers (tough gig). He took the job on a whim shortly before Colton was born because he wanted a position that he could enjoy and be closer to "home". Surprisingly, Luke loved working in education. He even thought about going back to school to get his license to teach with a focus on special education for EBD students. But, this year brought around some changes for Luke as he started to really think about what it is he wants to do for the rest of his life. A job shouldn't be just a job, you should love your job. Especially since you're going to spend over half of your life working it! So, we started having discussions...
Maybe I should leave the EBD field and try something else?
Maybe I should become a teacher?
Maybe I should finish my current degree?
Maybe I should get a business job?
One day driving home from Wisconsin, he decided to share a new idea with me - "What if I take over my dad's business?"
And so, we made the decision. We're working toward buying Luke's dad out of his company. We moved out of our own home and have moved in with my parents to save more money. Since this type of work is seasonal, we also decided that once Luke's season is up - He is going to stay home and take care of the kids, rather than try to find a second job. With gas prices going up and up and daycare breaking our bank account, this solution seems right.
Definitely more blogs to come about this new development! Can't wait to see Luke as Mr. Mom...
You may be asking yourself, "How did this happen?" Or, "Why aren't YOU staying home?" All good questions. Since this is MY blog and I can do what I want with it, I think I will tell you the non-Reader's Digest answers.
My husband (for the record, I dislike referring to him as that in conversation, I'd rather just call him by his name LUKE and so I will from this point on), was a teaching assistant at Harrison Education Center in Minneapolis Public School system for the past 2 years. He works with Emotional Behavioral Disorder (EBD) teenagers (tough gig). He took the job on a whim shortly before Colton was born because he wanted a position that he could enjoy and be closer to "home". Surprisingly, Luke loved working in education. He even thought about going back to school to get his license to teach with a focus on special education for EBD students. But, this year brought around some changes for Luke as he started to really think about what it is he wants to do for the rest of his life. A job shouldn't be just a job, you should love your job. Especially since you're going to spend over half of your life working it! So, we started having discussions...
Maybe I should leave the EBD field and try something else?
Maybe I should become a teacher?
Maybe I should finish my current degree?
Maybe I should get a business job?
One day driving home from Wisconsin, he decided to share a new idea with me - "What if I take over my dad's business?"
And so, we made the decision. We're working toward buying Luke's dad out of his company. We moved out of our own home and have moved in with my parents to save more money. Since this type of work is seasonal, we also decided that once Luke's season is up - He is going to stay home and take care of the kids, rather than try to find a second job. With gas prices going up and up and daycare breaking our bank account, this solution seems right.
Definitely more blogs to come about this new development! Can't wait to see Luke as Mr. Mom...
Thursday, August 25, 2011
Humble Yourself!
One of the hardest things to do in this life is to always remember that you are no better than the person standing to your right or your left: We are all human, make mistakes, hurt each other and disappoint one another. Personally, this is something I struggle with very hard and tend to beat myself up over because I sincerely try each and every day to be a better person not only for myself, but to be the best I can for my husband and a good example to my children.
Humble Yourself!... Something that is much easier said than done.
Example: There was a woman outside my building this morning wearing "older" clothes, with minimal make-up on and she was smoking a cigarette while her child was playing next to her. I couldn't help it. I judged her. I thought negatively toward her for smoking in front of her child. I thought her outfit was old and out of style. I thought she was dressed in appropriately for being at a "professional" office building. I got all of this out of only seeing her for less than 30 seconds.
The truth is, I don't know this woman. I don't know her circumstances. Maybe she was smoking her 1 cigarette she saves for stressful situations only. Maybe she was stressed because her ex-significant other was supposed to be picking up their child so she could get to work. Maybe she was taking care of this child as a favor to a friend or family member.
Bottom line: I judged without knowing anything except for what was on the outside...
So, if I can get anything out of this, STOP YOURSELF, put yourself in someone else's shoes and say a prayer for them (and for yourself) - Help make the world a better place. Become a better person. Take the higher road. Not necessarily the easiest way, but hey, who said this life was easy? If it were easy to do it right, everyone would do it...
Humble Yourself!... Something that is much easier said than done.
Example: There was a woman outside my building this morning wearing "older" clothes, with minimal make-up on and she was smoking a cigarette while her child was playing next to her. I couldn't help it. I judged her. I thought negatively toward her for smoking in front of her child. I thought her outfit was old and out of style. I thought she was dressed in appropriately for being at a "professional" office building. I got all of this out of only seeing her for less than 30 seconds.
The truth is, I don't know this woman. I don't know her circumstances. Maybe she was smoking her 1 cigarette she saves for stressful situations only. Maybe she was stressed because her ex-significant other was supposed to be picking up their child so she could get to work. Maybe she was taking care of this child as a favor to a friend or family member.
Bottom line: I judged without knowing anything except for what was on the outside...
So, if I can get anything out of this, STOP YOURSELF, put yourself in someone else's shoes and say a prayer for them (and for yourself) - Help make the world a better place. Become a better person. Take the higher road. Not necessarily the easiest way, but hey, who said this life was easy? If it were easy to do it right, everyone would do it...
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Money, Money, Money
I am a young twenty-something. I'm married, have two kids and consider myself to have a pretty descent job.
All that being said, I still have a heck-of-a lot to learn about money - Like, how to actually make it!!
I've met with 3 different financial representatives that have told me that saving is easy. Simply put 'X' amount into a separate account each month and you'll have 'X' amount saved over 'X' amount of years to hopefully retire on. Although this sounds like a reasonably easy and attainable concept, I have to wonder if these people have kids?
My husband and I definitely didn't take the easy route with trying to make a living. Although we both have jobs (my husband actually has had 3 jobs at one time over the past year!) and we manage to make ends meet, that's about all we can afford to do - make ends meet....
Certainly wish money grew on trees sometimes.
All that being said, I still have a heck-of-a lot to learn about money - Like, how to actually make it!!
I've met with 3 different financial representatives that have told me that saving is easy. Simply put 'X' amount into a separate account each month and you'll have 'X' amount saved over 'X' amount of years to hopefully retire on. Although this sounds like a reasonably easy and attainable concept, I have to wonder if these people have kids?
My husband and I definitely didn't take the easy route with trying to make a living. Although we both have jobs (my husband actually has had 3 jobs at one time over the past year!) and we manage to make ends meet, that's about all we can afford to do - make ends meet....
Certainly wish money grew on trees sometimes.
Friday, June 10, 2011
Friday Nights: Oh, How They've Changed
It's Friday night.
Luke had his last day of school on Wednesday and has been driving back and forth from Wisconsin to work. I've been waking up at 5:15AM everyday so I have time to get ready, get both boys ready, Jacob fed and all out the door by 6:30. Working 9 hours everyday, then coming home, making dinner, taking care of the baby and trying to get in bed at a descent hour to do it all over again the next day.... Needless to say, we're both exhausted.
We just got Colt to bed. Jake finally fell asleep. I'm in my jammies and about to go to bed myself. It's 8:29 PM.
....3 years ago we'd just be getting the party started. Friday nights, Oh, how they've changed!
Luke had his last day of school on Wednesday and has been driving back and forth from Wisconsin to work. I've been waking up at 5:15AM everyday so I have time to get ready, get both boys ready, Jacob fed and all out the door by 6:30. Working 9 hours everyday, then coming home, making dinner, taking care of the baby and trying to get in bed at a descent hour to do it all over again the next day.... Needless to say, we're both exhausted.
We just got Colt to bed. Jake finally fell asleep. I'm in my jammies and about to go to bed myself. It's 8:29 PM.
....3 years ago we'd just be getting the party started. Friday nights, Oh, how they've changed!
Americans & Their Individualistic Ways
As summer approaches, I frequently joke with my husband saying, "Honey, my birthday is coming up soon, I hope you're planning something special!", he looks at me, adoringly annoyed, "Sweetie, your birthday isn't until August," and I reply, "Yes, but August is my birthday month and," with sarcasm in my voice, "after all, it's all about ME honey," I laugh, "Don't ever forget it!".
Although he never finds my dropping hints about making my birthday \as funny as I do, the key in that conversation is the sarcasm implied in, "It's all about me!". For those of us that are married, we know that type of attitude certainly isn't tolerated, however, for those that are still enjoying the single or dating life, it truly is all about you, and that's just wonderful! My question is, when did Americans turn into such "It's all about me-er's" with selfish behavior? When did it become acceptable to work on Sundays? Or worse, cheat on your wife (or husband)? The horrifying thing about these things is that to most Americans, these new rituals don't even shock us anymore.
Case in point: Weiner and Schwartzenegger (forgive me Arnold, I don't know the exact spelling of your last name, nor do I care to learn). Both of these men have committed self-fullfilling indiscretions that have been exposed to the public (is the fact that they're both in government ironic or what?), but I have to wonder, does anyone ever consider what kind of message exposing these types of affairs sends to our children? Or how their wives feel about these stories being exposed? There's two selfish parties here: The men for giving into the tempation of cheating and the media for wanting to make a quick buck by exposing someone else's mistakes.
As a mother of two young boys, I hate (literally, hate) the new picture American society paints of a man. Take a trip back to a man 30-40 years ago: A man was someone who provided for his family, came home to his wife, was devoted to his children and didn't leave his family. A man today is viewed "soft" or "weak" if he "gives in to the ol' ball and chain". Ironically enough, a strong man is spreading his seed! Embracing the single life! Working for his own success! Caring only about himself! Why have just one woman when you can have ANY woman anytime? What's worse is, women are also OK with this new societal trend...
Women today are becoming more and more powerful in the work force, some say even more powerful than men are. In fact, the recent recession was actually called a "Man-cession" by economists because of the high amount of men that lost jobs vs. women. From a corporate stand point, who needs a man? Now, I'm all for women in the work force. I consider myself a part of one of those women and by all means, keep on steppin' ladies, good for you! But, what I don't like, is how this attitude in the corporate world funnels into our personal lives. More and more women are remaining single with the same independent focus that men are. Why have just one man when it's so easy to go out and get any man anytime? (Take your pick, ladies! Apparently it doesn't matter what their marital status is anyway!).
I could go on and on about this trend, but my point is- How is this "Be yourself and don' care 'bout if it's good enough for anyone else" attitude going to affect our future? Our children? Their children? How can you be held accountable for anything you do if you don't have someone else there to hold you accountable? Women especially have become so hyper sensitive to this, "If he doesn't like it, he can deal with it," (I've even been guilty of this from time to time). However, ladies, would you treat your best friend with that same type of attitude? I think not.
And so, as a result, we now have a generation of men and women who think they don't need each other. The women because they think they can do anything they want without the help or support of a man, and the men because the women aren't holding them accountable for their behavior, we're just leaving them when they screw up and as a result, men won't support women since apparently, we can do anything and everything without them.
For many of us that are married there is even selfish thinking happening there! If the relationship stops being convenient for you or if things just aren't working out, we'll just get divorced. Newsflash: I've been married for 2 years and it's the HARDEST thing I've ever done in my life. Relationships are HARD. They are WORK. They are MESSY. I'm blessed to have a partner that's willing to get dirty and be a fighter WITH me, even though sometimes it may feel he's against me, we're always fighing for the greater good of us, each other and our children.
Look, I know that things that happen in this life are hard. And we're all wired to be selfish, that is our God-given fault because we have FREE WILL and our will tells us to do what's best for ourselves because it's our survival instincts to want to 'go it alone'. And certainly, it would be much easier that way. But, if we don't start fighting for our marriages, our families, each other's well-being, putting other's best interests before our own, etc. We're all going to end up alone and then where does that leave us?...
I'm done ranting. And maybe ya'll will think this is a pretty conservative point of view, but this is just how I feel and I guess that's what makes me "Just Another Mrs.".
Although he never finds my dropping hints about making my birthday \as funny as I do, the key in that conversation is the sarcasm implied in, "It's all about me!". For those of us that are married, we know that type of attitude certainly isn't tolerated, however, for those that are still enjoying the single or dating life, it truly is all about you, and that's just wonderful! My question is, when did Americans turn into such "It's all about me-er's" with selfish behavior? When did it become acceptable to work on Sundays? Or worse, cheat on your wife (or husband)? The horrifying thing about these things is that to most Americans, these new rituals don't even shock us anymore.
Case in point: Weiner and Schwartzenegger (forgive me Arnold, I don't know the exact spelling of your last name, nor do I care to learn). Both of these men have committed self-fullfilling indiscretions that have been exposed to the public (is the fact that they're both in government ironic or what?), but I have to wonder, does anyone ever consider what kind of message exposing these types of affairs sends to our children? Or how their wives feel about these stories being exposed? There's two selfish parties here: The men for giving into the tempation of cheating and the media for wanting to make a quick buck by exposing someone else's mistakes.
As a mother of two young boys, I hate (literally, hate) the new picture American society paints of a man. Take a trip back to a man 30-40 years ago: A man was someone who provided for his family, came home to his wife, was devoted to his children and didn't leave his family. A man today is viewed "soft" or "weak" if he "gives in to the ol' ball and chain". Ironically enough, a strong man is spreading his seed! Embracing the single life! Working for his own success! Caring only about himself! Why have just one woman when you can have ANY woman anytime? What's worse is, women are also OK with this new societal trend...
Women today are becoming more and more powerful in the work force, some say even more powerful than men are. In fact, the recent recession was actually called a "Man-cession" by economists because of the high amount of men that lost jobs vs. women. From a corporate stand point, who needs a man? Now, I'm all for women in the work force. I consider myself a part of one of those women and by all means, keep on steppin' ladies, good for you! But, what I don't like, is how this attitude in the corporate world funnels into our personal lives. More and more women are remaining single with the same independent focus that men are. Why have just one man when it's so easy to go out and get any man anytime? (Take your pick, ladies! Apparently it doesn't matter what their marital status is anyway!).
I could go on and on about this trend, but my point is- How is this "Be yourself and don' care 'bout if it's good enough for anyone else" attitude going to affect our future? Our children? Their children? How can you be held accountable for anything you do if you don't have someone else there to hold you accountable? Women especially have become so hyper sensitive to this, "If he doesn't like it, he can deal with it," (I've even been guilty of this from time to time). However, ladies, would you treat your best friend with that same type of attitude? I think not.
And so, as a result, we now have a generation of men and women who think they don't need each other. The women because they think they can do anything they want without the help or support of a man, and the men because the women aren't holding them accountable for their behavior, we're just leaving them when they screw up and as a result, men won't support women since apparently, we can do anything and everything without them.
For many of us that are married there is even selfish thinking happening there! If the relationship stops being convenient for you or if things just aren't working out, we'll just get divorced. Newsflash: I've been married for 2 years and it's the HARDEST thing I've ever done in my life. Relationships are HARD. They are WORK. They are MESSY. I'm blessed to have a partner that's willing to get dirty and be a fighter WITH me, even though sometimes it may feel he's against me, we're always fighing for the greater good of us, each other and our children.
Look, I know that things that happen in this life are hard. And we're all wired to be selfish, that is our God-given fault because we have FREE WILL and our will tells us to do what's best for ourselves because it's our survival instincts to want to 'go it alone'. And certainly, it would be much easier that way. But, if we don't start fighting for our marriages, our families, each other's well-being, putting other's best interests before our own, etc. We're all going to end up alone and then where does that leave us?...
I'm done ranting. And maybe ya'll will think this is a pretty conservative point of view, but this is just how I feel and I guess that's what makes me "Just Another Mrs.".
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Just Another Mrs... Who?
My name is Nicole.
I am a daughter, wife, mother, sister & friend.
I am in my mid-twenties and for the first time in my life feel like I'm educated enough to voice my opinion. As far as personal information goes, I think this is all you need to know.
I am a daughter, wife, mother, sister & friend.
I am in my mid-twenties and for the first time in my life feel like I'm educated enough to voice my opinion. As far as personal information goes, I think this is all you need to know.
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